thxs for your kind words & update

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
thxs for your kind words & update
6
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 11:59am
Thank you all for your kind words, I'm still dealing with this the best way I can. I briefly spoke with her yesterday and she told me to cancel the engagement pictures... and I asked her if we were over and she said most likely yes... the pain that goes along with that statement she'll never know. I don't even know how she is holding her head up my is so low right now. I text message her last night that i missed her and left her a vm crying (she didn't call back)... and then feel asleep in the living room. I can't seem to sleep in our bedroom without her yet I don't even know how I feel asleep must of been out of pure exhaustion.

My son has been asking questions so this am I left him call her and I guess she told him she loved him (at least she had the guts to say that) he as well told her he wanted her to come home but he couldn't understand what she said he said she was sleep talking (gotta love kids). She called my office but I didn't answer-- couldn't bear to hear something else negative as I have lots of work to be accomplised today. She then left a brief message on my cell phone telling me to call her if I wanted and that she loved me. Now I am sitting here feeling torn, do I call her? I want so bad to hear her voice to know that she's thinking about me but on the other hand she asked for space right... and so that is what I shall give her. I know at the end of the week the outcome will be that she wants to move out for good and I'm not sure how I will deal with that. Thanks for all your support and you'll be seeing more of me now

-M

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:35pm
It seems so strange that she would go from wanting to be married to you to wanting to end the relationship like a sports car on a straightaway.

Has she even explained why the sudden dissappearing act? And then she leaves a message saying she loves you? She sounds way confusing to me baby. Maybe you will be better off in the long run. Find someone who will love you the same way you love them.

I know you love her, but can you think of any warning signs that this was coming?

Have you two had a toxic relationship of some sort? Has she done the come here go away thing at other times?

I think in time you will find someone who will make you happier even if it does not feel like it right now. Someone who will make you feel loved and anble to trust her love.

This is messed up of her to do this, but maybe better now than after the committment thing.

I am sorry that you are hurting. Just give it time baby. You'll do fine.

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 1:51pm
Thanks and i hope your are right... my friends keep asking me at the end of this week what if she says she wants to be back how will i react... that's a good question i am pondering i don't know. in my heart i know how much i love her but i can't be on this roller coaster again it's not fair to me but most of all my son. He loves her so much and is just as hurt and confused as i.

To answer your question of had we had a toxic relationship in the past... there's been some problems.. her and being faithful but i have forgiven her and moved past. I thought we had things figured out and then we were planning our wedding and now this. to say i have any clue as to what she is feeling would be an understatement, i have no idea. i feel like i am the one in pain and she is out having a grand time.. i'm the one who can't fall asleep at night while she is sleeping peacefully. this is all so confusing and hurting and now i am feeling angry and i just am at a loss. i'm trying hard not to contact her i purposely left my cell phone at home today so not to text her and she called the office but i didn't answer... all why does life have to be so awful at times

Thanks for your kind words,

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 2:01pm
hi ~M~

my heart goes out to you and i can't imagine the pain

i think you are way stronger than me, I would be on that phone calling her

to see what she wanted, however the way you are handling it is a wise choice

how dare her play with your emotions like this and most important in my opinion

how dare her do this to your son, someone so small and has loved this woman to

call her MOM for 3 yrs, you dont hurt children, and you know especially this small

not to consider him in her leaving to leave HIM in the dark like this and leaving

you to pick up the pieces and grab at straws to try and figure out what to tell your

precious son... ((((((((((((((( M )))))))))))))))) Bless You and your precious son

hng in there and PUT YOU AND YOUR SON FIRST !!! its killing you i do know .. i would hate

that sleeping part and especially life has to go on its not like you can tell work hey

i am grieving and cant come in for a while.. you have a child to think of .. to support

her choice no matter what it was .. was purely selfish thoughtless and very very inconsi-

erate except for she considered herself


praying for you for strength and wisdom and courage to do what you need to do ...

p.s. nice to meet ya


Tink

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 2:16pm


mbabym, Hi this is Gigi.(This is just my experience).

I was thinking about what you posted yesterday, and I know how that feels. I was involved with a woman for a certain amount of years and we went through a lot together. I had a lot of unconditional love for this woman. We would talk about a lot of things. The more we talked the closer we had gotten to each other. We had our ups and downs, but we got through them ok. I had fallen in love with her. There were a lot of other things that went on in my relationship, that I really don't want to go into here, but I guess I had gotten too close to her. But, I guess my approach to love was too overwhelming for her. So she left. It felt like someone had punched me in my stomach, and I thought I was losing my mind.

After getting some type of help, I came to realize, that I wasn't at fault. I've learned how to balance out my feelings and take care of my issues as they arise.

I know to this day, I want to see this particular woman, but I know that it's not good for us to be in each other's company, alone or otherwise, but that doesn't mean that I don't love her still. I gently suggest that you continue to take care of yourself and your son, and hopefully everything will work out.



Gentle hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 2:54pm
Hi M~ Well from your first post here I gathered as a couple others did,

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 4:25pm

Hi there M,