Chat is on now !!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Chat is on now !!!
3
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 8:57pm

Come on in and have some fun !!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 9:11pm
Have never posted like this before, but am looking for a little support--and my circumstances are such that I'm a bit isolated.

My mate of 18 years recently told me that she thinks we should split up. She's felt a calling to become a pastor, which is obviously at odds with our relationship as a lesbian couple. We've tried to find a way to make it work as she has pursued seminary and has now finished. But here we are in her first year in a full time pastor position, our relationship hidden, living in two houses (me in our home, her int he parsonage).

The relationship has been, as you would imagine over 18 years, sometimes wonderful, sometimes awful. She has always been sort of unconventional, with me the balancing opposite--steady, conventional, dependable.

My head tells me that if she has to leave, there is nothing I can do about it. But my heart is breaking. I've done well for the past couple of weeks, but saw her at church this morning and she came by for dinner tonight, and I can't seem to quit crying. This is rough stuff. For both of us, at least so it would appear. She cries, I cry. Though she says we should be in a trial separation, she still calls often. It's a bit confusing.

Thanks for letting me share.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 11:48pm
Wow, I am sorry. Welcome to the board, I am sorry that you are having such a bad time but I applaud you for letting her follow her "calling". That was very brave and honorable of you. That is true love. I am sorry you are suffering. It seems your relationship is still in tact, just on a different level. I guess its better than losing her completely. I am sure this will be quite an adjustment for you both. I wish I had some advice, right now I don't. Keep coming back here and cry on our shoulders - its a wonderful place. Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 10:49am
Hi (((((dks))))) and welcome..
So sorry your life has taken this turn and causing upsets and more for you and your partner..
18 years is a long time.. I imagine you both know each other pretty much..
Can your partner perhaps do her calling in a church that is GLBT friendly?

 C  >^. A .