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| Mon, 10-25-2004 - 12:52pm |
Thanks for all the kind words and support. Life over here is okay...I'm trying to stay strong and keep my head up but as you all know how difficult this has been and still is. I saw her briefly this weekend and she hugged me close and got teary eyed and I asked her what that was about and she said she missed Jakes and I. I just said well you know where we are at--- after I said that I wanted to kick myself! Geez can I sound anymore desperate?!?! She walked in the house and saw that i had flowers and wanted to know where they were from and and was actually jealous..., i can't figure out what right she has to be jealous but i think she was. She then left and then we talked for a moment on Sunday and she said I love you I am just not in love with you...and I don't want to be with you anymore and there is no hope for us--- could she crush me anymore really?
So today I'm holding on strong and trying to keep my head up as high as I can, I'm not sure when her and I will chat again, she wanted to see my son on Wed but I'm just not so sure about that.... I'm not really sure about a lot of things right now and I'm just taking it one day at a time.
I think I have finally come to the realization that she is NOT comming home and I am just trying to pick up the pieces of my son and my life and as you know it's a daily stuggle and I hope as the time progress it will get better as it can be. I know that since she was my first girlfriend she thinks that I am running back to a man... well you know what she allowed me to really explore my feelings with a women and I know and realize that it's a women that i really want and need in my life--- i wander how she will reacct to that.
I read this book and a line in it said don't waste the pretty... well you know what I am not wasting the pretty.

I had those words said to me and it felt like my heart was taken out and put into the blender and the frappe button was pushed real hard and not let up. >>She walked in the house and saw that i had flowers and wanted to know where they were from and was actually jealous<<<<.
I don't like head games, not at all! They drive me bananas! I've had them played on me one too many times, and I can't stand it if someone else did that. In my opinion, and that's all it is, I don't see how why she should see your son at all, she made her decision, so therefore she should stand by it! I think you've been handling this whole situation admirably, but if it were me,(except for the baby), I would tell her to leave me alone, not to contact me in any way shape or form, and would have a restraining order placed on her. I don't know what you domestic partner laws are in your state is, but I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to have them put into place.
Anyway, keep coming here to update us!
Gentle protective hugs!
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Robin
**Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**
*hugs*
nelle
Love the Red hair!..
**Smiles**"CAT"
C >^. A .
Why thank you Kitty Cat !
I was the model <
Robin
**Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**
C >^. A .
I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
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(((((MBabyM))))))
I'm so sorry that you are going through such a heartbreak.
Scarlett
my blog