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| Mon, 10-25-2004 - 11:56pm |
As you all know, I am in my first lesbian relationship. I am 100% in love with Jen. Lately, I have been trying to make friends with people like myself but I feel a little guilty because I don't want Jen to get mad/jealous. We discussed it tonight, and although she says it's ok and fine, I get the feeling she is insecure about it. I guess I should just take her at her word.
In an opposite sex relationship, men don't get jealous over female friends. Now everything has changed. So am I supposed to make friends with men now? I can't even stand most men...that's a topic for another day. I have become anti-male since I came out, I didn't want that to happen, it's just how I feel.
I began emailing a wonderful woman I met online, I thought we had alot in common and could be friends, apparently that isn't possible. So, since I am in a relationship is contact with other women considered a no-no?
What's the rule? Does anyone have their lesbian handbook out.....if so, please let me know what it says!
Sandra

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This is one of those issues where its
Kim
Check out my
Sandr
I agree with everyone else, Sandra, that friends outside of relationships are very important, whether or not they are strictly lesbian friends. This is something Caly and I feel very strongly about. We want each other to have people outside of us to talk to and do things with. It's a healthy part of being a human and being part of a relationship. Caly and I are individuals, but we still share an incredible bond. I support her interests outside of our relationship, and she supports mine (although finding the time and energy is hard for me sometimes! LOL). In the end I think it's all about trust and having a relationship that is so firmly based on trust that neither person is threatened by the other because of outside friendships. Sure, it's hard in LDR's because all you want to do in your free time is be with the other person through phone, IM, etc., but it is also important and healthy to maintain your own individuality.
Hope you can find that balance, Sandra, and enjoy the friends you find to be part of your life.
Ting![]()
Sandr
lol, i totally get your freaking out ;-D
i don't know, i think the more 'experienced' lesbians must have learned to create a kind of boundary, we haven't cause we're new to this territory... in time, in time...
Sandr
Beach
I would never let my partner be friends with
someone who was VERY attracted to her.
Especially if it wasn't a mutual friendship. How
do you know they weren't having a relationship
behind your back?
How do I know?
Kim
Check out my
My g/f and I have been together for 7 1/2 years. We have chosen to be in a committed relationship. We have both had people who were attracted to us during our relationship but we never crossed that line with those people.
Just recently I have been dealing with the fact that I have developed a "crush" on two people. I felt so guilty. We have discussed it and I am still able to be friends with these people. I have no intentions of crossing a line that would hurt my g/f or our relationship.
I do not love her any less. Maybe even more. when I told her she asked if my heart still belonged to her, I said yes and she said then she is fine. I know that crushes eventually cool off into nice friendships and do not have to be acted on.
G/f and I are together for what we hope to be forever. And we trust each other enough to discuss these things honestly.
Neither of us would ever keep the other from having any sort of friendships.
I have learned that crushes and attractions can be fun, healthy and normal and do not have to be acted on. Even when I was single I did not choose to act one crushes everytime.
I would never want to ruin what I have with my g/f and I know that if I cheated it would never be the same. So it would not be worth it to me to cross that line.
We find that our relationship continues to grow while we let each other grow.
We have never had to keep each other on a leash because neither of us strays.
Hugs,
My web page
http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
I like how you think Kimmie :o)
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
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