Giggling schoolgirls?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Giggling schoolgirls?
50
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 3:52pm
My day... (we need an eyeroll icon!)

I am in a training class for a position with the state. When hired, I told the interviewer (my supervisor was one of the interviewers, a woman who was retired was assisting her) that I was a transsexual. Our class is training in an adjacent building to where we will work, and we are now... 12 days into training. Today my supervisor asked to see me, and she outlined how there are rumours circulating about me. She was an absolute sweetheart, and was very upset with this happening, that I was one of the ones she insisted on hiring, and she does not wish me to leave. She told me they were calling a meeting to tell everyone it was none of their business, and I would assume remind them of what being professional means and what state regulations are. She also told me that if anyone gives me a hard time to let her know, because it is discrimination.

Wow. I don't wish to be the cause of problems, just wish to do my work, be a good person and colleague, and the only way to win them over is to do and be just that.

How they know is uncertain... the only way people can tell usually is by my voice, if power is required behind it it will give me away. There are 5 women and 2 men in my class, and of all of us... one guy is from the department where this started, and they were having him take this class... there was something about his attitude that seemed off, though I could not put my finger on it... how he interacted with our trainer, his insistence on breaks, etc... like an institutionalised employee. Where I come from, there was no such thing as breaks, though when working for myself worked late and took breaks when I felt the need.

I talked with the women in my training class, explained what was happening, they were all wonderful... spoke with the trainer and she wanted to choke someone. So while this is only speculation, speculation I'll only share with friends, family, or in this way... this is a shining example of how some guys are so damn immature about human sexuality, it's like they've never gotten past 16. And to think there is a stereotype of giggling schoolgirls... I submit that there are giggling grown men out there as well.






Edited 10/26/2004 3:56 pm ET ET by rayeellen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 6:58am
Think of it in computer terms, maybe that will help. You have a pc, but a mac operating system... they two are not at all compatible, and it creates conflict. There is increasing evidence this is hard wired into us, and I think it a no brainer. This has been an issue for me for a long time. My earliest memory of it is from age 6.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 11:55pm
ok, yeah, i had a mac and i had a pc, and i can see how the inside parts don't work with the outside.

the reason i was so surprised is because you're on the lesbian board, and you were a guy before--it's clear to me now how little i really understand about human sexuality... i thought that if you were a man before, you would have no difficulty getting a woman, and therefore you could stay a man/better still stay a man but i was looking at from the how to get a woman angle... lol, pretty shallow i guess... but then again i'm speaking as a biological-born women who likes women, i don't/never had identity issues even though i have androgynous aspects to myself, but still i'm more a woman than anything else and never felt the need to become anything other. i think i've simplified the whole issue until now, have not tried to understand this any deeper even though i know a woman who was born a hermaphrodite, that's what she called herself, btw... and had to choose between one or the other so she chose to be a woman because that was how she most felt like, but she was straight--at least that's what she told me before, i never tried my 'gaydar' with her, lol...

so this could be inborn? i had so many doubts about sexuality being inborn, i thought sexuality was an acquired state, rather like how one prefers oysters over mussels, if at all. but i really thought/and still think it's an acquired state.

did you say you felt this way since you were 6?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 7:12am
*shyly raises hand* There's more than one of us here. I knew at probably three or four that something was terribly wrong. It was two things. First, socially I had far more interest in things that were stereotypically "girl" than those that were "boy" and would rather play with the girls. But also just on some level, even though I was entirely ignorant of the physical aspects of sex, I already knew enough about gender to just feel like I was in the girl camp. It was just so early that I knew that I just can't imagine that it's not inborn.

Sexual preference is not the same. After all lesbians aren't guys just because we like women. And being a guy with a woman is just not the same as being a woman with a woman either socially or physically. I drifted into an androgenous sort of life and dated bisexual women. But really, sexuality was never enjoyable until I started transition. Liking who you're with is different than liking who you are. Likewise for straight transwomen, gay male life is very unsatisfying.

Also for those who don't know, this is a really sensitive subject and I'm quite glad there seems to be acceptance here. There are parts of the lesbian community that are extremely hostile to transwomen and I'm always very tentative at talking about issues. I don't want to intrude where people aren't comfortable with me. At the same time, I do crave a community just like every other person.

Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 7:14am

This I suppose my friend is one of the age old questions, "

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 8:51am


Well Kathy, thanks for being brave enough to "come out". I applaud you. I still accept you for you, no matter who you are.

{{{{{{{{{{Kathy}}}}}}}}}}.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 8:54am

Hey Not_str8!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 8:55am

{{{{{Kathy}}}}}

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 9:33am
Hi, Kathy,

I am so glad to know that you feel comfortable enough to come out here. I think it is important that you can be yourself. I remember when I was real little thinking that I was supposed to be a boy. My mom was mortified! I never felt like I could ever say anything about what I now know to be sexuality.

I was always known as a tomboy growing up but soon turned girly in middle school.

I can feel like a woman and sometimes more masculine. But, I think I am comfy as a woman now. I like make up and all the clothes and things we get to have, doing nails and eyebrows etc.

I never judge anyone for who they are such as Bi, gay, trans, because I know that we are all individuals and may feel differently deep inside ourselves.

I really love our LGBT community and would not trade it for anything.

Hugs,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 10:48am
Thank you for sharing, how brave of you. You are in a safe place, no judgements here. Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 10:54am
Nothing is ever cut and dry in my opinion. My sister and I are a great example of the nature vs. nurture argument. My sister, by observation, even though anatomically female - is very masculine. I believe she is a lesbian by birth. I am pretty feminine and choose to be a lesbian, probably because of my life experiences. Either way, we all get where we are by taking different paths. Life is so complicated, and fascinating! sandra

Sandr