confused and hurting

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
confused and hurting
4
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 2:09pm


I know that there is no magic formula or anything, but I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on where can I find a woman who is actually interested in a commitment? It seems so hard to find someone who is mature enough to handle it. So many couples that I know say they are commited to each other one day and then to find out not too long after one of them has already moved on with someone else. It just seems that there are so many women who seem to treasure their relationship one moment and then the next breath are out cheating on their partner. I realize that this is not true of everyone, but it seems so difficult to find someone who wants to honor a commitment.

My other problem is that I am in love with someone who is not available and I know this can only be destructive to myself, but I'm finding it hard to move on because it seems as if no one compares to her. We have never even dated, but have had a friendship w for several years. I'm hurting because in my heart I really want to be with her, but it cannot be. Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts for me??? I need to move on, but just can't seem to find the same feelings for anyone else. Thanks ahead of time for any input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 2:59pm

Hi Starsfall.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 7:48pm
In my experience one can look so hard for love they forget to live life and let things fall into place out of living life. Usually the strongest relationships will come from the flow of life, not from searching for one ready to make a commitment.

I know it's not easy to do these things, but if ya can find a way to just enjoy life, think one day you will find inner peace and contentment in all phases of life.

*hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:38am
There are other women here, that haven't posted to this yet,that struggle with this same thing. I agree with Nelle that love often finds us when we aren't looking. Until you focus your efforts on other things, you will always be hung up on this unavailable woman, so try and move on. Keep us posted, and keep an open mind. The love of your life could pass you by while you are busy looking at Ms. Unavailable.

Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 1:39pm


Thanks for all the replies and advice. I agree that the best relationships happen when you are not looking, but that's thing, I am not actively looking. It just seems that when some happens to cross my path that I'm interested in, she's either involved with someone else or not able to not interested in having a real relationship. It seems that all the girlfriends I have had in the past were so fickle with their feelings, one day I was the love of their life and the next they had moved on to someone else.