Gee,....go firgure
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| Fri, 11-05-2004 - 10:17pm |
My recent ex well had a very very bad home life.Her dad left when she was young.She grew up and learned her mom had MS.Her mom is head nurse so well she got into nursing school as well.....she now wonders if she wanted to be a nurse at all or if was her mom's dream for her....she worked 6 days a week,making very good money and her mom kept her money and gave her an allowance ...even when she was in her 20's.....
Her mom was VERY controlling.It was her way or else.
My ex gf well she has one friend and she is an hour and a half away.The girl she considered a sister stabbed her in the back by telling her step father every thing she ever told her.
Her step father hated her...
even before her mother married him,she begged her not to marry him yet she did.
her real dad,well she tried to have a relationship with him yet well he is always drunk and does not seem to care much about her.At least not enough to be sober and love her.
My problem is that well that my family has taken her in,she is one of us....
my family treats her as there own(which would be awesome).....she lives two blocks away with my aunt.....
I am trying to break it off......does anyone know of a good way for maybe her to want to break it off???and us still remain in each others lives???
In eight months I haven't been ANYWHERE without her.
I think I am entitled to a "guys night out"...shooting pool or whatever.
She knows I will not go to the gay club without her but well....
I am in between a hard place and 20 rocks.
We got back together breifly .I bought her presents for a birthday she wants to ignore.I do love her and care for her but not in the right way and I know that.She says if we don't get back together she will leave....which I guess I should let happen.She has no where to go though and I can't do that....do I stay miserable so she is safe or set her free so I am better?I hate this ...I been trying to "ride it out " for months knowing things will change,she and I will get stable in our finaces and then she will be safe ...but things are eatting me away...If she would stop with the dramatics ( I think the only way she ever got attention) things could be better,if she would go seek professional help and like herself things would be better....
My ex who passed away,my one real love in this life....knew she had my heart,I knew the same....the trust was totally there on both ends......I never doubted anything....I KNEW...I think about my dear Chasity almost daily now,the fact she was my best friend...not even sure me and my recent ex even like each other much less are we best friends....I feel like I can't tell her anything....she gets upset or angry...she hid the fact she was a child....and not an adult...I love her and not wanting to bash her...I asked for time and well my old buddy ( a guy) I worked with is coming to town tommorow and well she wants to be right there the whole time,when I want to relax and just have buddy time....
and well not that I would make a move right now at all and she is straight but there is a girl I recently worked with that I am EXTREMELY attracted to and she is very nice .I want to get to know her better and be friends and just friends.....but that is hurting me too.....I am trying to be there for my ex and well not be her gf again and I have no clue what to do....
everyone have a great weekend and well any advice would be appriecated.....thank you as you ladies are always helpful....Jo

Golly Jo.
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
The only way is to be perfectly blunt with her and tell her that you are not in love with her and need some time to yourself and just you and some of your friends. If she cannot handle that and wants to leave then let her, but I am willing to bet she will not leave. If she does then you get a break anyway.
Tell her it is not fair to either of you to be together when one of you is not in love.
Then tell her you've had dreams of killing her in her sleep because she is choking the life out of you. lol just kidding, but you asked of a way to make her want to leave.
She sounds like stalker material. I have had women who will not let go when I want to end the relationship. I would come home late from being out with friends or doing a show and they would be waiting in my drive way ready to rip me a new butt hole for not being home.
You just have to tell them that you are not in a relationship with them. Eventually they find someone else to suck the life out of.
Good luck it sounds like you need to use tough love.
Hugs,
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She is a old enough to know or learn how to do for herself.. If you lay it out and she acts bad about it then later for her.. Open it up and let her go!..
You deserve to go places by yourself or with friends without her along.. She is smothering you..
I care about you and I am sure other's will tell you the same as they care about you.. I know you miss ((((Chasity))))..I would miss~S~ like that too.. She is such a good friend
C >^. A .
You said your family has taken her in. They must all get along? Can they talk to her about things? Maybe help her to get a more logical start? I know with me (and can you tell I've had a gf that your story reminds me of?) it's really hard to break up with someone like that because they need a friend, but if you're a friend to them, it short circuits breaking up because you end up being a gf without benefits (which is a lot worse than being a friend with them!)
There's a really fine line between being supportive of someone and being emotionally blackmailed and I can't tell which side of that line she's on. You could just put your foot down and see how things fall out. She might very well back down and start to get her life in order. Most of all, her life is her choice and responsibility. It sounds like you and your family are great friends to her and if she chooses to walk away from that, it's her choice, not yours.