Lesbian relationship libido conflicts...
Find a Conversation
Lesbian relationship libido conflicts...
| Mon, 11-08-2004 - 3:26pm |
The delema- Many lesbian relationships involve plenty of lovemaking in the begining.
After a few years the lovemaking sessions become few and far between in many lesbian relationships. (For example- Mine)
I have gone through many emotions and thoughts such as, what is wrong with me, us?
She is no longer attracted to me, she loves me, but is not in love with me.
G/f says she can't believe I would question her love for me. She says she is more in love with me all the time. She says she is in love with me, but she just has a very low to no libido. We even went to the Dr. to see if she could help. The answer, a perscription for Wellbutrin. Which after several months may be showing some change.
The situation is this, she is happy not having sex/makinglove, and I am not! I have been called a sex addict which I am not sure of that.
We have been together for 7 1/2 years and I have a hard time thinking I might only have sex either never again or very few times. Yes a person could take matters in to their own hands, and I have been busted a few times, but it is not the same.
I have had other women tell me they would be my sex partner, but of course that is not an option if I want to stay in this relationship.
How do others deal with this??
Is it fair for one person in a relationship to expect the other to never have sex?
How do you over come the need for a sexual relationship and feel okay being in a sexless relationship. I am talking we have sometimes gone a year or more without.
I feel like she is not in love with me, but I do not think she would be here if she wasn't.
No she is not cheating and never has. All her time is spent with me or accounted for.
She shows me and tells me in many ways that she loves me and is in love with me.
She loves to kiss and cuddle and plenty of hand holding in the car etc.
She talks about our future and has designed matching rings that she wants us to have made when we can afford them. They will be very expensive.
She tells me that she cannot imagine having anyone else in her life.
So can someone please help me with how to deal with this?
Thanks and hugs,
After a few years the lovemaking sessions become few and far between in many lesbian relationships. (For example- Mine)
I have gone through many emotions and thoughts such as, what is wrong with me, us?
She is no longer attracted to me, she loves me, but is not in love with me.
G/f says she can't believe I would question her love for me. She says she is more in love with me all the time. She says she is in love with me, but she just has a very low to no libido. We even went to the Dr. to see if she could help. The answer, a perscription for Wellbutrin. Which after several months may be showing some change.
The situation is this, she is happy not having sex/makinglove, and I am not! I have been called a sex addict which I am not sure of that.
We have been together for 7 1/2 years and I have a hard time thinking I might only have sex either never again or very few times. Yes a person could take matters in to their own hands, and I have been busted a few times, but it is not the same.
I have had other women tell me they would be my sex partner, but of course that is not an option if I want to stay in this relationship.
How do others deal with this??
Is it fair for one person in a relationship to expect the other to never have sex?
How do you over come the need for a sexual relationship and feel okay being in a sexless relationship. I am talking we have sometimes gone a year or more without.
I feel like she is not in love with me, but I do not think she would be here if she wasn't.
No she is not cheating and never has. All her time is spent with me or accounted for.
She shows me and tells me in many ways that she loves me and is in love with me.
She loves to kiss and cuddle and plenty of hand holding in the car etc.
She talks about our future and has designed matching rings that she wants us to have made when we can afford them. They will be very expensive.
She tells me that she cannot imagine having anyone else in her life.
So can someone please help me with how to deal with this?
Thanks and hugs,

Pages
C >^. A .
Sandr
I can hear the excitment in your post..
((((((((Hugs))))))))"CAT"
C >^. A .
You would not be boring me at all. I enjoy hearing about things and like Lee/Cat said I can hear the excitement in your post.
I like paint colors too, all white feels kind of institutional to me.
Hugs,
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Thanks for the kisses back.
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Sandr
Sandr
And she must agree to enter into this sexual play
with an open and willing heart.
Kim
Check out my
>There are those times when I know that getting aroused and reaching orgasm are not going to come easily for me, if at all.
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
((((((((((((Laurie)))))))))))
The words "delicate balancing act" come to mind when I think about this, and I'm sorry it is an issue in your relationship. IMO certain factors need to be present in a healthy sexual relationship, among these compatibility, intimacy, desire, willingness to explore and take things to different levels, constant communication, etc. Partners need to be able to say to each other "I just want to cuddle tonight" or "I'm rarin' to go" and have those wishes fulfilled. If one person always wants one or the other, however, then the other partner's needs inevitably are not going to be met. It's a give and take thing just like anything else in a relationship, and I think communication is key to maintaining that "delicate balancing act".
Well, I don't think I've added anything here to what has already been said, but just wanted to throw in my support for what the others have said. I do think couples counseling would be good to try also.
Good luck and hugs to you...
Ting![]()
Pages