New Love

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
New Love
7
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 5:58pm
Hey all! Im back, and happier than ever! I finally met a wonderful woman and although we live 3 1/2 hrs away we care deeply for eachother. She is one year younger than me and fortunatley we communicate very well with eachother about our feelings, thoughts, and etc. She previously before meeting me was always emotionally detached when it came to relationships, but she has stated that being with me has opened her up to being who she really is! Im couldnt ask for a better person. I havent been in a relationship for 1 year that includes not dating anyone as well. She is going into the Peace Corps for two years and I want to stay with her........... Is it true that one person could open you up to be who you really are??? She is so affectionate to me and etc. Anyways my other question is that since we are really communicative, she had asked me some questions about my past relationship and i told her that when i first met my ex she had kept something from me for a few months after being intimate with me that her fiance at the time (Yes bad situation) had Hepititis B. I told her that she had lied to me from the beginning and when she told me that i went straight to the doctor to get tested, and that i tested negative, she started to get real quiet then i told her that i have nothing and not to worry becuase ive been tested for everything 2 other times, and not to mention just a month ago and all my test were normal. She stated she has a huge midterm tomorrow and that was why she was quite cus she was thinking fo all the stuff she needed to do, but I was paranoid that she didnt believe me, so then i stated that i would show her my results and she said "babe dont worry about it, you told me everything is ok, so dont worry about it." Do you think that she was just saying that and was worried or do you think she just had a lot on her mind?
Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: meatheadnhawaii
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 7:12pm
well they say I am too honest at times....everyone says so,but I think honesty is the only way to go

I am about proving to people too...they only way trust is built is to show who you are.I personally would leave it dropped...if it comes up,take her with you to re-test or show her the test...I think unless she says anything to leave it be...but that is my own thought????not really sure.,....take care,Jo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: meatheadnhawaii
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 9:38pm
Congratulations! I am glad you met someone. You absolutely did the right thing in being honest. She deserved that and you took a risk but did the right thing. I am sure she was just busy - but you know, maybe she would like to see the test results - or you two could go get tested at your suggestion. It would ease her mind and remove any doubts she may naturally have. If you wait for her to ask or suggest current testing, she may never ask out of fear, and it could strain the relationship. Just my thoughts, hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: meatheadnhawaii
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 10:05pm
Hi Hawaii,

Just a thought but, I was assaulted by a guy who had multiple charges of rape. I was in a relationship at the time but we had to discuss the possiblilities of AIDS and other deseases.

I had several tests done over a few year period all negative. I know you did the right thing to tell your new partner and do not be offended if she is concerned. Anyone would be concerned. I hope the fact that you told her has helped her to trust you. And it probably would not hurt to go have another test done for her. Alot of people have tests done before deciding to have sex these days.

I am thinking she might be afraid to ask you and not want to sound paranoid or hurt your feelings, so just be a responsible partner and have a new test done for her and show it to her, even offer to have her come with you for the test.

But please do not be offended if she does have concerns, she has a right to be concerned.

I think she will trust you more because you have told her.

But, I would think her silence was due to trying to recover from hearing that and not wanting to offend you. Show her your test results voluntarily too.

I would probably want to see the test results and then I would be free of concern.

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: meatheadnhawaii
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 10:09pm
You were open and honest, and if it bothered her, she would have spoken up. Don't sweat it! And yay on finding new love!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: meatheadnhawaii
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 10:15pm

Hi Meathead!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: meatheadnhawaii
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 10:21pm
Everyone has answered very well. IMO, honesty is the best policy. Good luck you two.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: meatheadnhawaii
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 10:34pm
I agree with all the other posters.. Great news on finding her..Be happy and stay honest..Do come back and let us know how things proceed..
Again enjoy and great advice already given from the others...
((((((hugs and Oh Welcome back!))))))"CAT"

 C  >^. A .