What to Do?? What to do?? - Advice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
What to Do?? What to do?? - Advice??
8
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 1:43pm
What do you do when your gf and your friend don't get along??

My gf and I met a couple with similar interests and kids like us! We hit it off at first and now 4 months later my gf and "S" don't get along. I won't go into the gory details but there have been several misunderstandings between the two of them and now they don't want to have much to do with each other. "S" has been a really good friend to me and has helped me out with problems I was having in my relationship and offered good advice. She even listened to my gf and offered her advice as well.

My gf told me if I want to continue the friendship that's fine with her but she will make herself scarce when they are around. Now, most of you know that just won't work. I can't have them over and have my gf hide out in her own home.

I am faced with the only choice I can make and that is to break off the friendship or keep it strictly to phone calls only. I don't want to do that. Up until a few days ago we would all have a good time together. Now it's all been ruined.

Any helpful advice?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 1:55pm
I guess I would need more of the gory details to understand why they cannot come to a mutual understanding/truce when they're around each other, at least for your sake. The good thing is that your gf isn't saying "it's her or me", so that tells me there may be hope.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 4:39pm
Hi babystr,

I have to agree with sadie on this.

Not because we want the dirt but because it is hard to think of what to say not knowing the reasons they do not get along and what type of misunderstanding they keep having.

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 10:13pm
Ain't much you can do... you are a partner to your gf for a reason, and if your friend is a friend she will try a little harder... but then, we could say that about your partner as well... neither of them should be forcing you to make choices.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 10:14pm

Hi Babystr.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 10:22pm
Wow!~ That is indeed.. a sticky situation..
Your Partner is I imagine very important to you.. If it can't be worked out between them then perhaps you may have to just see this friend away from your home if it's not going to cause of course feelings of worry for your partner..
But as you said as far as in your place (the friend) coming over would not be fair to your partner to have to make herself scarce in her own home..
Good Luck and keep us posted..
(((((Hugs))))))"CAT"

 C  >^. A .

Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 6:59am

Personally I would question my g/f needing to be that controlling as to who I see and what I do, unless my friend was a known drug addict or ax murderer hehehe


The love TiNG and I have for each other is unconditional and the friends she has outside of our relationship and the people in her life, make her who she is and are WHY I love her.

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 10:31am
Just a brief update.........

My friend "s" had some female outpatient surgey done yesterday. My gf came home and suggested we get some flowers and a card and go to her house and see how she is doing. I was pleasantly surprised by this suggestion.

My gf told me she was doing it for me. She would try to make things better for me. How sweet is that??? She also wrote her a little note and enclosed it in the card asking her if they could start fresh and forget the past.

Well, we got to her house and no one was home so we left the flowers on the front porch and called their cell and aparently "s" was there but in her room asleep. We talked to her partner and told her we left the flowers and a card. She was very thankful!

So......I usually talk to my friend everyday either on the phone or via e-mail so we shall she what her response is, hopefully today!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 7:22pm
Sounds like a positive move babystr. She is at least trying. Very good. But even if they can not get along I wouldn't be to down about it. Some people just clash that way.

Hugs,

Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html