OK, need major help here...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
OK, need major help here...
10
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 12:24am
My ex of over a year called me today. We were together for over 2 years. Half of that was very good. She chose alcohol. She is up north here tomorrow until Dec. 1st. She sounded very sober when we spoke. She wants to spend time with me. My problem, do I let her into my life for this short time. Without the alcohol, I luv her very much. Sex would be great after a year but do I surcome to my desire. It has been so long. I can't believe I am asking for help at my age. Adult wise, I should not let her into my life, but length wise in the sex problem I want her so bad. Oh my god, I am so lost when I thought I had control of my life. Any help ASAP would be soooo helpful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 1:26am

Well, if it were me, I would sit down, talk with her, and if she sounded like she had all of her marbles, then fine. But, I think you should find out what she wanted. Of course, I'm all for the sex part, weg, but that's up to you. Personally, I haven't had sex in 4 years, and I'm pretty sure, there are other ladies, that have been without it for longer than me. But you use your best judgement. But I know what I would do, I would jump her bones first, then talk later! LOLOLOL!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

Avatar for themadhugger
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 7:38am

Hi there!


Ok heres my 2 cents... Like Gigi, I think you need to sit down with her first and have a long talk. Find out where her head is at and if she has truly given up the alcohol.

*hugs ~ Caly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 10:17am

Hi Butterfli...


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 11:28am

(((((((Buterfli)))))))


This is a decision that only you can make.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 11:40am

I don't see anything wrong with meeting her and spending some time with her. But, I would remind myself of how wrong the relationship was in the past. And, I would be careful in making any rash moves. If she hasn't changed, then what you experienced before will be experienced again. Sex isn't everything. I personally think I would prefer making love verses sex.

Happy Thanksgiving!

rj

rj

Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 11:55pm
I want to thank u all for answering. U are all right and all right to the point. Thank u all for answering so quickly and honestly. This has helped me so much. You are all a great bunch of true friends. I luv this board sooo much. Credibility is fantastic. I can't thank you enough for all your help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 11-27-2004 - 2:00pm
From my own personal experience, I think it would be a bad idea. I have been with someone that sounds about like the one you are talking about. I was in the same kind of situation and I did "just have sex" with her but then she started her old games all over again. I hurt more than the first time and wished I had never got involved again. No matter how long it has been, it is not worth the pain you could go through. Best bet is you always have yourself and your toys cant get drunk or yell at you or cheat on you or leave you for someone else. BUT, this is your situation, not mine... SO, if you think you can- more power to ya!!!! Good Luck! Hugs, Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-27-2004 - 10:31pm
Thank u so much for your wisdom. This has helped extremely. Again, thank u for your wisdom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 10:27pm
Thank u Pam. Yours was a plus but I have decided to meet with her to find out where she is at. All the other answers hit me really good. It will be short but sweet. I need to end this cycle and get on with my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 10:55pm

(((((Buterfli)))))


Let us know how it goes.