alone for ever, bare with me:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
alone for ever, bare with me:)
10
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 4:43am

I give up, not in the I hate myself way but more of the I'm tired and have to just move on way.
I am 24 yrs old, In school learning to be a library tech and have great friends i can count on and my life is pretty good right now.
But i am lonely, and want to share my life with someone else.

I am self confident, love myself so I know this is not one of those I want someone to complete me deals, i am complete now.

I just went out to another night of gay bars, I go about every 6 months and always with the same result, me alone again.

I am picky I guess, I want someone like me... self reliant, self confident and recently someone who wants to open doors for me and is willing to be the strong one sometimes.

I guess this doesn't have a point really, more of a sad letter to complain to others.

I have been told (many times) that as soon as i don't want someone i will find them, i already did 3 yrs of that and admit defeat.

goodnight everyone, maybe I will feel better in the morning:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 4:46am
Welcome Ladygold. I am sorry you are having a lonely night. There are so many nice ladies here, some are even single! Come back and see us. Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 5:45am

You know Ladygold, you're still a young pup at just 24 and have PLENTY of opportunities ahead of you for finding the love you seek. It's usually the case that love creeps up on you when you least expect it. I've always found that when you go out looking for someone, you never find them.


Don't 'give up' or 'admit defeat', eh? It might be better to just make a mental adjustment - tell yourself you don't NEED a gf to define you, to make your life a good one. Look around you at the great things you have going for you and enjoy them. The lady you seek will no doubt sneak out from the most unexpected of places.


Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 10:38am

(((((((Ladygold)))))))


Loubie is right.

Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 11:41am

I understand ladygold,but guess what...normally when I give up,I find someone....really.....it has always happened like that....

I understand completely.I came out like 7 years ago to everyone and I too am still alone....well I also go to the gay club on occassion,stand in the corner alone frustrated because I see someone I would love to talk to and well I don't.....I understand how you feel....but well I feel better after a good sleep....

the holidays well are bad,very bad though I am used to be alone on the holidays.We get used to it and well ladygold,don't want this to turn into me whining,lol....there are a few someones' out there for us all...maybe it's just the dumb hopeful romantic in me,lol...but I truly believe there are....It's just gonna take us some not so great relationships to finally find her....have a great one and hope today you feel a little bit better.Alot of good people are lonely and/or alone.....there are some of us here on this board who you can talk to if you'd like because well we all have been alone before....god bless and well good you gave up,now maybe she will find you....:)JO

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 11:58am

thanks for the advice, there are just a couple of things that should be noted:)

The only thing I think I explained is that I do not need someone to define me, I do not need someone I want someone.

I honestly like my life and love me, I think you can have those and still want to be able to care for someone.

It worries me that many people always assume that if you want someone in your life you are saying that you need them.

I do not like bars very much but others seem to find the "one" there all the time.

I also volunteer at the local pride center, am the vice president of my school gay group and belong to book clubs and discussion groups.

the wallflower thing does not work for me, I like to be out there...

so my rant last night will just be left as that, I am 24 but I reallly don't see how that makes this any easier?

Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 3:01pm
hey lady...wish more women I meet felt about themselves as you do....I seem to find ladies with the lowest self-esteem ever but well it is hard to meet someone knowing clubs and bars ARE NOT the way to go...I know that but well It is a very small town I live in....sounds like you are very active and well have many causes you feel strongly about,That is very awesome.
I agree on wanting someone in your life and not NEEDING someone...but it is great to fall in love and well feel as if you don't want to live without that person by your side as well too ,Huh?
Venting here helps for some.I been hanging around here and these ladies are funny,kind,and very compassionate.They really helped me when I found out my gf had passed away...I just think coming here is a good outlet and well all these ladies have become what I consider good friends...hope you'll stick around.....maybe start liking the board too......and I am sure someone will find you one day......have a great one,Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 7:43pm

Hi ladygold and welcome to the board. I'm sorry you are feeling so lonely, that is a hard thing. Don't give up yet, you are still young (and I say that, as a young one myself... I am 23). Stay here, tell us more about yourself, get to know us and try to have faith that your special someone is out there somewhere.


Hugs!


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 10:13pm
Loubie, it's like when you have money to shop you don't find anything you want but when you are broke, you find everything u would like. Hang in there Sweetie. At your age of 24 you have plenty of time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 1:10am
Ladygold,
Don't feel bad if you don't meet someone in a bar. It seems hard to meet people in the bars because it is kind of dark and loud and you really can't just go up to talk to people.
Also alot of people are out with friends and distracted. Another thing, many people are shy and wait for the other person to come up to them.
Spring will be here soon and the softball fields will soon be filled with lesbians again.
But if you cheer for someone playing pool for drinks and cause them to scratch, they just might want you to leave. lol. Is this stereo typing or what?
Do you ever ask people out? Or to dance? Or send them a drink? You can date people without it having to be the one, you know, to get to meet them and know them instead of shouting at each other over loud techno music. Although that can be exciting.
Ok, I have said enough,
Hope things work out for you,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 1:23am
Welcome Ladygold and I like your thinking..
I also like/love being with someone who is like me ..and it all fits, but I don't like need her to complete me, just be there/here with me..
True you are young ,and all going well, and I hope it sure does for many many years more for you, but that being said hopefully eventually your bestest friend will happen by..
True bars are at times fun happening places, and you may meet your someone there.. keep going and doing all your doing.. Meet people and ya never know when a person you meet may turn out to be that someone.. Hope you stay around and get to know us..
**Smiles**"CAT"


 C  >^. A .