Upset

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2004
Upset
7
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 11:48pm

Hi All,

Well it has been a very eventful evening! The woman I recently started seeing told my daughter tonight that we are a couple, together, basically telling her her mom is gay.
My daughter then came to me and asked me, she was not at all upset, took it very well in fact, said it was fine with her. But I am not okay with my partners? telling her. My daughter had asked her if there was anything going on with us, my partner then told her. My partner told me she could not think of anything to say, so she told her. Am I right for being terribly upset by this, or should I forgive her? she knew I was not ready to tell anyone, what right did she have to do so?

Please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: shatterbug
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 11:57pm

In my humble opinion, your friend was wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2004
In reply to: shatterbug
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 1:47am

Hi Pam and thank you for validating my feelings. It means a lot to me,

I told her the same thing you said, "You could have told her that was something she should talk to me about" Her reply, " If I had said that she would have known anyway" I think maybe she would have guessed but my so called friend can not excuse her wrong on the assumption she would have known. And it does not give her the right to invade my privacy even if she did guess. My so called friend said in her defense that she could not lie to my daughter, she went so far as to say that I said I could not lie to her. She tells me how sorry she is, she loves me etc. She even said "please do not be hurt' I asked her how she could even think of saying that to me. She is acting all pitiful because I am upset with her! To me this feels like manipulation and guilt tripping. She also said she could not think of an answer quick enough, however she had time to realize that if she told her to talk to me that she would have known anyway? I am really glad I found this site, venting is great! really though I am very hurt, feeling betrayed, and yes angry. All support and advice welcome, lots of hugs to you all

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: shatterbug
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 2:55am

Well, I would hug ya, but I don't want to overstep any boundaries, so I think I will just shake your hand.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: shatterbug
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 5:23am
welcome shatter....I agree with nurse pam...I didn't read all the posts here,getting ready for work.If I was your partner no way would I have told.I have dated people with children and well....that goes for discpline as well....I won't discpline someone elses child....I don't feel comfort doing that.It may be different if we had been together 10 years.....I think she could have come up with something besides that.It's your child,you know that child better then anyone and it should be up to you when or where and how it is done regardless of whether the child is fine with it or not....Just my two cents....Welcome to the board....have a great day,Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
In reply to: shatterbug
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 8:17am

She was wrong. She very much overstepped her boundaries. I would think hard about continuing to pursue a relationship with her. She has lied to you and she obviously has no respect for your privacy.


((((((((((hugs))))))))))


I'm sorry you've been pushed out before you were ready. Sounds like your daughter is taking it very well though. While that does not at all excuse your friend, it says a lot about what a wonderful child you have.


hugs!


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
In reply to: shatterbug
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 8:54am

This woman was totally and terribly wrong to out you to your daughter.

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: shatterbug
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 2:04pm
She didn't have the right! Get rid of this woman, according to my scorecard - this is her third strike. Where I come from that means - she's OUT!
I am sorry that happened to you, Sandra

Sandr