The job hunt and stuff...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
The job hunt and stuff...
5
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 3:17pm

Hi girls!

Yesterday me and a million other women were at the job interview I had, we ALL had a 9:30 "group interview". I barely made it because I went to the place I thought I was supposed to be at and then realized the street name was wrong! Good thing the right place was close by. I have applied at too many places, I can't keep them straight.

This job is at a 40 bed all male juvenille facility. The boys are criminals ranging from 8-18 years old. The place is clean, and nice, but there are also hard criminals there(rapists, murderers). Anyway, I was called for a second interview this morning, thats a good sign. I really want this job, so keep your fingers crossed, it's a three phase interview.

I had a fight with my ex today regarding our daughters 16th birthday. I really don't want to get into the whole story but basically, the opther day I asked him if we could have the party at his house since its huge, and he said yes. Today he called and asked me not to come because he wanted his girlfriend there and she would be uncomfortable. Geeze, that was my house, we picked it together and lived in it together and all the stuff in it we bought together...I don't care if he paid me off or not, I still feel like it's my house in my heart, just not legally. Also, it's our daughter's 16th birthday, of course I am coming! So...it ended up we are having seperate parties. I thought we could be mature about this but apparently his new friend has a problem with that. My daughter called me at lunchtime today and I told her a little about the argument and that plans have changed and she said she did not want her Dad's girlfriend there at all. I am not getting too involved in that one. So, I am hostessing a 16th birthday slumber party in my two bedroom, one bathroom home, while my ex and his girlfriend sit in his 5 bedroom, 3 full bath house, alone. Hope they are happy....

Sandr

Avatar for tookie12
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 3:26pm

"Geeze, that was my house, we picked it together and lived in it together and all the stuff in it we bought together...I don't care if he paid me off or not, I still feel like it's my house in my heart, just not legally."

I'll be honest with you that is EXACTLY why i didnt keep our house after the divorce cause i KNEW my ex would feel that way and want to use it for joint parties concerning the kids and he would always feel like he had a right to it in some way. I would most likely act just like your ex....Like it or not....its HIS house now.... JMHO

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

my blog....where i scoop the poop

htt

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 3:36pm
I should have made him sell the house...I think since I have a big living room in my new house and a decent size kitchen the party will be fine here. I need to not think about how it could be and focus on how it is. Lots of people have two bedroom houses, and still have parties. I know it's his house, I just don't know why she would even want to hang out in a house chose by the ex wife, decorated by the ex wife, if I were her I wouldn't. Him and I have lots of memories there, memories that would be stirred up in any room of the house. But, everyone is different, if she is ok with that then good for her. If it were me, I would want a fresh start and new surroundings. When I was there last, he still had pictures of us all over the place. Well, the whole thing is weird to me because him and I were together so long. Change can be tough. I am glad I have a new enviornment to start my new life. It seems he is still living in the past, and he's the one the instigated the change in the first place. I just need to learn how to act divorced. Our lives have been one for 10 years, it's all so weird.

Sandr

Avatar for tookie12
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 3:42pm
"I should have made him sell the house"
No...you shouldnt think you can /could make him do anything. YOU did the right thing by you....a fresh start....its his life now and however he and his gf want to live it is not your business. If they are comfortable with your ghost...so be it.
I was married for 20 years and ya know...i didnt want ANY reminder of those days.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

my blog....where i scoop the poop

htt

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 4:14pm

I was

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 7:18pm
Oh I could have done alot of things. The court could have made him sell the house, at my request, also, he thanked me for not requesting it. Since he was cheating on me and also operating a very profitable business behind the IRS's back I pretty much called the shots. I had blackmail and knew how to use it. He knew that too. Not that it matters now, but he only kept the house because I let him. If that makes me sound like a presumptous TOS, then so be it. Maybe I am. LOL
The issue isn't that anyway, I just thought I would say it. My life turned out better, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I hope he is happy too because he's a good guy. We were both just unhappy and he found someone that made him happy. So did I. I even like his girlfriend. I just don't understand why she wants to hang out in that house. I don't need to understand, like you said, it's none of my business.

Sandr