break up advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
break up advice
6
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 3:19pm
My girlfriend of 4 months broke up with me last night-It was actually mutual, but she initiated it. I think we both saw it coming. She left then called later to say that she wasn't sure and she might be making a mistake. I feel like I am in limbo with no one to talk to. This is my first relationship with a woman. She sounds like she may want to get back together and try to work things out, but is this a good idea for either of us?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: chablis97
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 5:30pm

{{{{{{{{{{chablis97}}}}}}}}}}. Hello chablis97, and welcome to Lesbian Life. Well, if it was a mutual thing for the two of you to break up, then why play games? I've been told that there are more women that want to meet me. I know it hurts, but heal, and move on. But, please come back and share how you're doing.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: chablis97
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 8:00pm

Hi Chablis and Welcome to LL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: chablis97
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 12:28am
Hi Chablis.. and Welcome.. Sorry about the break-up.. As Pam said,you two really are the only ones that can decide,wether or not it's a good idea to get back together.. ..
Hope you come back and fill us in more.. Do hope you can sort through and get some answers for you and she also for herself..
Again welcome...
**Smiles**"CAT"

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
In reply to: chablis97
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 1:51am

I had the "mutual" break up myself and it hurt like hell:( I thought it would hurt less,
wrong wrong....

I'm new here to, and everyone has been pretty nice to me so I'm sure you will make good friends:)

I had a really bad breakup a couple of yrs ago and what helped me (after the crying and ice cream of course)was to take time to figure out what i wanted out of life.

just an idea:)

p.s. I don't know your exact situation so if you should get back together does depend on the situation but i'll tell you what I tell myself and my friends.
wait until your over the break up to try again, and i mean no crying and feel good about it, during the time after one people usually become lonely and forget why there was a breakup anyway.

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
In reply to: chablis97
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 12:37pm
I just want to thank everyone for their support-it has been even more difficult because no one really knows about this relationship and I felt I had no one to talk to - it's nice to be able to. We have basically been having difficulty finding time-we work different schedules. We also have a 13 year age difference. I guess I have been feeling like I am not a priority in her life-I feel I am always squeezed in. I do understand that we each need our own individual time and time with family/friends. But she will call, say how much she misses me and wants to see me, then we finally have an evening we can spend togehther and she has to run off to a movie with friends when we haven't seen each other in weeks. I can accept this once in awhile, but not all the time. I wanted to try to talk and work it out-I know she feels I am too demanding of her time sometimes and she feels torn between making time for everyone and everything. I feel I have given her space and time when she has needed it, but it works both ways. I know I can not always be the one compromising-that is why I say the breakup was mutual-I know I can not settle for less than I need, but I feel I have been willing to work at it. She just says she is not good at relationships. I am feeling better-and most of all not alone...
Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: chablis97
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 5:40pm
welcome to our hide away,lol....
Hey I am uncertain of the circumstances of your break-up but well it was mutual?
I know from my own experience because I too just had a break up,is that it is easy,very easy anytime to go back to something that you know....and espically this time of year...no one wants to be alone during the holidays...but more importantly as said ,your circumstances are unknown......was it a happy relationship and such?good luck ...feel free to share here ,you are among friends...have a great one and take care,Jo