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| Thu, 12-16-2004 - 9:13pm |
But first I've got to figure out how I got in this to begin with.
A month ago I started seeing someone, only I didn't realize that we were getting serious, which is why I never thought to mention her here (or at least I don't think I've mentioned her here). Long story short - week one, we're dating, only I didn't realize it. Week 2, we're sleeping together and staying overnight, mostly my place. Before I know it, my bathroom is full of her toiletries and toothbrush etc. Week 3, she's getting calls at my place, and once I had some friends over and they asked when T's going to be home. I said "I don't know" then realized a minute later that they meant "home" as in "here". So she moved in, and I didn't even realize it. Wouldn't be such a big deal, except that I am very discriminatory over who meets sweetfeets and when, and I have no plans on her meeting him at this point. She's complied so far with my requests that she not be around when I'm with him.
I don't like where this relationship is going at all. She's a big lush, and she drinks so much which in turn has made me drink more than normal lately. She smokes like a frieght train and that's hard on me too. Most of all I hate the fact that I drink like a fish every night and go into work every day glassy-eyed and bloated. I get very goofy when I've been drinking (doesn't everybody?) and hate waking up sick as a dog and checking my phone to make sure I didn't drunk dial at 3am (and checking message boards to see what kind of damage I did there - almost as bad as drunk dialing but not as rude). I remeber the nights when I had

~sigh~ Grrrrrllll, you do whatever you need to do to get rid of her. It seems that you have a instant relationship. As far as I can tell you didn't do any damage here. All you did was post about Ellen D and that's it.
Might I suggest that you toss her stuff out of your door and if you need to call the police, say anything, just get her away from you, so that you can be resonably safe.
You are playing a dangerous game by taking your meds and drinking alcohol, didn't you know that? Do I need to tell you how I had my car accident? I tell you it's a gruelsome and sad story, please, you don't want to play games with your chances of getting sweetfeets back, now do you?
If you want to ignore me, that's fine with me, but PLEASE get rid of her.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
G I hope you don't think I ignore you. You are one of the kindest ppl I've ever met. Your handle says it all "gentleheart".
You brought up a good point about the drinking and the meds - in hindsight I'm thinking that may be a reason I did not bring this up before, b/c I knew someone would point that out and make me feel worse about myself. But it's the truth.
I can no longer use "losing my son" as an excuse to continue living the way I do. If I let myself go, I let my son go. I can't do that.
Thankyou for your support G. xoxoxo
every great journey begins with one step
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You're welcome, Beth, I just wish I was down there to be with you to keep you safe. But you have a lot on your hands. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, but goose bumps ran up my spine, and I flushed heat, and not of the arousal kind either. But, I'm glad that you did say something, because, you were too "quiet". grrrrrllll!
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
{{{{{{{{{{Beth}}}}}}}}}}
Sweetie.
CL-Nursepam2000 aka
Damn. You are so right to cut this off, though I think you are a bit hard on yourself refraining from relationships until he is 18. Ideally someone stumbles into your world who loves him as you do. And that would be a defining moment for me. I too would take your approach, hell I do for different reasons, but someone with that outlook might be worth inviting in.
Anyway, I agree... stay away from this one.
Whispers to angels for ya..
(((((((((Hugs)))))))))))"CAT"
C >^. A .
I agree.
CL-Nursepam2000 aka