Very confused - please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Very confused - please help!
16
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 10:36pm
I can't believe that I'm actually posting this somewhere. I'm pretty embarrassed, even though I don't really know why. I date a lot of guys, but I'm never satisfied with them and I don't really even like them. I feel like I am just dating them for something to do. They get me a lot of gifts, and that makes me happy for a little while. Sometimes I really think that I'd rather have a relationship with a girl than a guy. I'm so confused, though. I have no idea what I am, and I feel like I'm too old to be confused about this stuff. (I'm 20, and I'm a college student.) I guess that I just want to make some friends who might understand. I can't live like this anymore.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 10:46pm

(((((((Pinkstar)))))))


Welcome to Lesbian Life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 11:47pm
Thanks for replying to my post - I definitely appreciate your kind words. I guess that I'm not really ready to label myself one way or the other yet. In the meantime, though, I just want to make new friends, and this board seems to be a very good place to do that. Thanks for being so sweet to me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 9:47am

We welcome all comers here Pinkstar.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 11:21am

Hi hi!

Glad to see you came by. Don't be embarrassed about being confused. There's nothing more confusing in the world than love, nevermind who it is. This is a wonderful accepting place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 11:35am

*hugs*

>>I'm so confused, though. I have no idea what I am, and I feel like I'm too old to be confused about this stuff.<<

I've not read the remaining posts in the thread, so please forgive me if this has been asked already... but what sort of thoughts are leading you to feel you have no idea who you are? Please don't be embarrassed talking on it, this is precisely what you need to do. With time, you will get comfortable doing so. It's not at all unusual, society is such that it tries to smack those who are different back into line.

Anyway, I'd like to hear more about your inner conflict.

*hugs* again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 12:32pm

Hi Pinkstar,


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 4:44pm
I guess that the thoughts that are leading me to question my sexuality are that I feel as though I could never really trust a man and that I tend to go through a lot of men rather quickly. I feel like I am just using them. I've always thought that I would be more connected with a woman than a man. I'm sorry that my thoughts are so jumbled. I guess that I'm just very confused.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 5:01pm
Thanks for the warm welcome!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 5:12pm

If you think your thoughts are jumbled, take a look inside mah head...

If you trust women, if you like being with women, if you feel a deeper connection with women... are you wrestling with *if* you feel this way, or *because* you feel this way? The former would leave you confused and trying to sort, the latter would leave you trying to accept what you seem to have already figured out.

An emotional connection, at least to me, is vital. If physical attraction is also present, then those are huge clues.

Looking at the whole picture, emotional ties to men and women, physical attraction etc, facing what you feel without fearing the answers that come from within, may well take time. One may vacillate, and don't be too hard on yourself if uncertainty is all you find. It will sort. And like many, you might find an attraction to both.

Twenty is your lifetime to date, but it is still young. Some know these answers early on. Some hide them (like me) until much later. Relax and try to get comfortable with the idea that whatever you find, you are kewl with it, and that it does not change or diminish who you are.

*hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2004
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 2:11pm

never exsisted.




Edited 2/22/2005 7:26 pm ET ET by hiconfusion

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