Very confused - please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Very confused - please help!
16
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 10:36pm
I can't believe that I'm actually posting this somewhere. I'm pretty embarrassed, even though I don't really know why. I date a lot of guys, but I'm never satisfied with them and I don't really even like them. I feel like I am just dating them for something to do. They get me a lot of gifts, and that makes me happy for a little while. Sometimes I really think that I'd rather have a relationship with a girl than a guy. I'm so confused, though. I have no idea what I am, and I feel like I'm too old to be confused about this stuff. (I'm 20, and I'm a college student.) I guess that I just want to make some friends who might understand. I can't live like this anymore.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 3:33pm

Hello, hiconfusion, My name is Gigi. Welcome to Lesbian Life. We are a community of caring and supportive women, we care about one another as well as all that come to this wonderful community.

My experience is this: The both of you need time to yourselves to find out how you feel about each other. But most of all, it is suggested that you find out how you feel about yourselves and take a look at what your sexuality is, and if you really want to be with her. Sometimes it's good for a new couple to be apart from one another, so that each one can search their feelings. I can agree on the kisssing and wanting to be with your sweetie, all of the time, but it's not healthy, you both must have some alone time.

Trust is a hard thing to earn, so you must have faith and trust in her, as well as her having faith and trust in you. As the saying goes: if you love something let it go, and if it comes back to you, then it was meant to be. All she wants to do it to be able to stand on her own two feet, and to have some independence. Of course, you're not going to know how to be in a relationship, you have to know how to be in a relationship with yourself. If she's sincere in wanting to stop drinking, might I suggest that she go to AA. Remember she has to want to go to AA, you can't force her, or make her. I have learned that love takes time, and if it will happen it will happen. The only way to let her know how you feel is if you sit down and speak honestly with her. Maybe she's having the same problem, too. You never know, if you don't speak up. Yes, it is your life, and it is real. I have been a lesbian all of my life, and before I came out I had to do some soul searching myself, but when I realized, that this is what and who I am, I am very happy and secure in my sexuality. As with any other sexuality, there is a lot of confusion, and doubt, but for me, there is always a sense of self-identity and self acceptance, and believe me, all of this self-knowledge didn't come over night, it took me a long time to be who and what I am. And I love me, hopefully, you will come to find out that you are who you are and that it is beautiful.

So, please have some chocolate, sit on this nice comfortable cyber couch, and have your favorite beverage. I, as well as the other ladies, welcome you to this most awesome community.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 5:45pm
hey pink....well I was 23 when I came out.....you are never to old to decide what you want...some people are even older....for me all my friends where attractive....all my female friends......I don't really think I ever really noticed people ...ladies....it all kind of hit me at once...if you ever want to talk about something you have questions about...I can put up my yahoo messenger name or email address.....we have chat also on sunday nights at 9pm...these ladies are very helpful.....I also just dated guys with kind of no emotion...the break-ups where not really a big deal for either person I don't think,it was more like me hanging out with a good buddy,or a cousin even,lol.....some hand holding (not the same as cousins,lol),......have a good one....things will come about for you and you'll firgure out what is right for you,you are among friends........Happy holidays,Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Sun, 12-26-2004 - 9:04pm

Hi Pink
I'm kind of a new "oldie" around here.. I used to very active on this board about 2 years ago. You will find this is a wonderful, caring community of women. And you are safe here to pour out your heart - your doubts - your fears - your joys. There a many wise souls in this community. I welcome you and hope you will come by often.. I know I'm planning to come by more often again :-)

Hugs
Pooh Bear

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2004
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 7:54am
just wanted to say thanks. I dont want to ruin the trust we already have for each other. I dont think she wants to either. Im pretty sure that is part of the reason she is going on the boat. A big part of me wants her to just go so that it is easier for me. i feel like i am pushing her away no matter what.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 11:56am

Ok, well I just thought I would help you, but please stay and have some fun with us, we'd like to get to know you!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2004
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 4:14pm
oh, ill definetly be back. Thanks again.

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