The most wonderful person I know
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| Thu, 12-30-2004 - 4:35am |
Hello everyone,
I hope that I am not being rude by posting here. I am a heterosexual male who has been married to the lady you know as "Ting" for 12 years. Together we have brought the two most wonderful daughters that you could ever imagine into the world. For more than a decade "Ting" has been both most my best friend and my soulmate. Nevertheless, because of mutal problems we have recently filed for divorce. I just wanted to let you know that "Ting" is a far more beautiful and wonderful person than you may realize. I have known that she has been posting here for sometime and hav
e looked at your board every now and then out of natural curiosity. Since this is a board for lesbians I may have been rude for doing this, but felt it important in my efforts to try and understand "Ting's" sexuality and to save our marriage. I failed, but appologize if my visiting here has offended anyone.
At any rate, you should all know that you are very fortunate for having "Ting" as a member of your community. She is a kind, charming, and wonderful person. The end of our marriage is tearing me apart but I hope that she finds all of the happiness that she seeks as she enters a new phase of her life.
I'm not exactly sure why I am posting this other than to let you guys know how lucky you are to have "Ting" as part of your community of friends. And to let you, and her, know how much I will always love her for giving me a far more wonderful life than I deserved for so many years.
Sincerely,
Michael Rogers

Wow! ((((((Michael))))))..Yes Ting is a wonderful part of us ..
It has not offended me that you chose to post here..
I am sorry for your pain .. I know the ending of relationships(especially very long ones) is hard....Especially also... if two people got along fairly good during the relationship,but some things just couldn't be worked out....
I don't know you and I don't know any of the story of you and Ting's relationship except what you have voiced here..
I am not a person that judges anyone.. Heaven knows I have made
C >^. A .
Hugs, Sandra
Sandr
I also am sorry for your pain.You have to give yourself some credit though....maybe you do deserve a wonderful life,yet you are man enough to know well she is who she is....I am not that fimiliar with "Ting" yet I do know everyone here is special and are very kind people.....you have to give yourself credit for not forcing her to stay with you and hopefully you haven't taken it out on yourself or let it hurt your ego because well she is what she is is.....not because of you......sadly ....we don't know who we are...and then suddenly we do.....it's not that we "hate " men...it's not that ,well.....it's not about anything...it's just kind of growing into ourselves.....I regret/do not regret that I was invloved with a married woman.He knew about her feelings for me before I did....I saw a glimpse of his pain and well while I hated things for him,felt his pain I couldn't let her go and she couldn't let me go...yeah I could just be another person saying I felt bad for him,when I didn't but I did feel bad for him.....she always said she wished she had met me first....believe me,you did the right thing and I think one day it will come back to you ......in a very good way....in my situation he forced her to go back using many tactics....she hid her pain and torment by using drugs and living out her sentence(she felt it was) and thus it caused her death...Yeah I kind of think he is responsible for her death.I kind of think if things had gone the way I wished then she would be here with me now,in good health....I am glad for men like you and I feel really bad for you....I wish things weren't the way they are and no one felt pain but we all do....god bless you and I really hope this coming new year will bring great thanks to you.I think you and "ting" are lucky to have friendship .I hope you can heal somehow and I am so sorry you had to feel this pain.....( I am tipsy so yes this is a rambling run on sentence)hope it didn't confuse you to much...god bless and happy new year...Jo
Jo, Ting is Caly's girlfriend.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Hi, Michael:
Thanks for your post, and sorry for your loss. From experience of a 12 year marriage I understand what you are feeling. You need to understand that this has been a very difficult thing for Ting to do. I can honestly tell you that nothing that has happened was planned that way from the beginning. I loved my husband when I first met him, and we both knew about each other's past. Things went sour like they do in some relationships. For me, I wanted to be happy and stopped riding on his Merry go Round. Inside I was torn apart and hurting, and he did nothing to help our situation. I hope that your words hold truth to them, and your not saying these things in hopes to win her over. If your as nice, understanding and loving as you sound to be, then you both can have a great relationship, and you will never lose her ever...
There is one very important word of advice that you should hear. This is all I asked my ex-husband for, and he failed miserably....."All I want you to be is a good Daddy". I laid an easy painless path for him... I accepted 1/2 the child support, never called for want of more, and never returned to court or called him to complain. Even when he went month's for several years without paying, I stuck with my plan. I told him I would not be there to cover for him. His failure to send presents or cards or letters to his children were totally on him. I had to sit and listen to their dissappointment in learning the type of father that they had. Watching your five year old, six, seven, etc. ask you every year to go to the mail box to check if the package came, and never did....is heart breaking. Trying to answer questions like "Mommy why does Daddy lie"? All those things will be laid on Ting and you too, only if your not careful with your children. You can be a good Daddy as well as a friend, by continuing to be what you displayed in your post.
One more thing; you deserve to be happy too. Give your self a gift, and don't hold on too tight. Look around and find the right woman for you. Smile more when your out, acknowledge others, make new friends, and find a new hobby to fill the time. Someone right is out there waiting for a nice guy like you, and the relationship will be much better. Just don't let it interfere with being a Good Daddy!
halo
hugs
halo
I am sorry that your marriage is failing and that the divorce is tearing you apart.
I know that when a person knows that they are a lesbian, eventually they have to live their real life. I know I for one tried to deny that I was a lesbian for sometime and then even off and on after having been in same sex relationships. Society is not very accepting of us and so we try very hard to not be lesbians or gay. We fear losing our families, friends and jobs due to the rejection of who we are. I hope you can try to learn what she is going through. I know that you must be hurting very badly. I hope you do not think it is a rejection of you as a person or that lesbians hate men.
Try to imagine that same sex relationships were the norm and you feel as you do about women or ting. But everyone told you that it was wrong or sick etc. And then you decided to try to be normal and be with a man even though you feel the way you do about females and not about men. It is like that for us Michael. Now I can't speak for everyone but I know from experience and talking with other lesbians that many feel the same.
It has to be hard for ting to make this change for you and the kids. It cannot be an easy thing for her to do.
I hope that in time you can become close friends with ting and be supportive of her.
And she of you. I hope that you would never turn the children away from her as many spouses do out of revenge.
I am glad that you came to our board michael. I think you are a wonderful man for trying to understand and I wish that I could take your pain away.
Thank you for posting and feeling like you could come here. I am sure it is hard for ting to lose you too. I am sure this has been hard for her to do.
Ting was lucky to have you in her life to michael. I hope that you will be able to get through this and that the kids will know that you and ting, no matter what, will always be their mom and dad who love them like nobody else ever could.
I really do hope that you find peace inside yourself michael. You deserve it.
Hugs to you,
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