Please help - weird situation!
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Please help - weird situation!
| Sat, 01-01-2005 - 6:24pm |
I can't believe that I'm even posting about this, but I'm really confused and embarrassed, and I need advice. I met a really awesome girl on-line, and she's turning out to be a great friend. The only problem is that she doesn't view herself as a girl. She admits that she's a female, but she likes to be referred to as a male. She also won't go by her real name - she'd rather be called my a male's name. I don't mind, but this is new to me, and I'm not quite sure how to respond. Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?

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Firstly, if youre viewing it as a 'wierd situation' then thats the problem.
If I recall correctly, youre questioning your sexuality - and if thats the case, then before you go trying to meet people online and offline, you should probably figure out who and what you are before 'experimenting' on people so as you avoid hurting yourself and others.
Secondly, you will find that not every person identifies or feels comfortable with what/who they were biologically born as. There are biological men who feel that they are and should have been born female, and so therefore they live their lives as women, sometimes having gender reassignment surgery, BUT NOT ALWAYS. There are women who are biologically women and do not feel comfortable living that way, and live their lives as men. These people are 'Transgendered' - also know, its more common than you think. You wont find many (if any?) transgendered Lesbian identified 'females' - they generally ID as queer because Lesbian implies women loving women, and obviously if you are transgendered than it cant be the case.
Moving along. Your friend is human first and foremost - if you like him as a person, then I dont see any issue. If it freaks you out, than maybe you need to step back from the situation, learn more about Transgendered folk and the issues they have to deal with on a daily basis and come to some sort of conclusion - whether youre comfortable with it or not.
Have I experienced anything like this? Of course. My partner is male identified (biologically female) and is addressed by his male name at work and by family. I dont take any issue with it because he is who I love and thats that.
Good luck with your situation though.
-Alisha
Hey pink, there's nothing wrong with being confused, and there's no need to be embarrassed. I'm still learning about the Transgender life. I, myself have my questions about myself. I have met many men and women that are Transgender, and respectfully speaking, even I get confused. I know that I love to dress up as a male. My girlfriend is a femme. I find her very attractive, and she thinks I'm cute, too! lol.
I have a lot of masculine ways, even though my name is very feminine. Of course, if I wanted to change it to be masculine, I can. The only thing that gives me away is my voice(well, sometimes) and my breasts. I have had a lot of people, where I live at, think that I'm a man, basically because I have facial hair and numerous tattoos. But when I go and worship, I wear a shirt, tie, jeans and and a wing tip shoe (I wear the type of tie, that you hand tie). I will have a melt down, if I'm forced to wear a dress or a skirt. It's going to take a while, to learn about the different faces, of this wonderful life that we all here share.
So, please, take it easy, take your time, explore, have fun, and please, know that we are here to guide you on your wonderful trip.
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Hi Pink,
Well Alisha gave you lots of indepth information so I was just going to add a story from my experience.
*hugs ~ Caly
You're welcome
Hugs!
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
*hugs ~ Caly
I keep forgetting that youre in VT.
Im in Vermont twice in the summer (1 weekend in June, 1 in August) and I'll be there for about 10 days in May sometime...
I absolutely LOVE Vermont and wish I could live there full time.
I am glad that you shared that.
Do you feel like a male on the inside? I have known a woman who did. We dated awhile and she went by a male name at work and everywhere. She always dressed as a man. She did not consider herself a lesbian because she felt she was supposed to be a man. So i called her my boyfriend and treated her as a man. She just seemed like a man too. I mean I just felt like she was a man inside. It's hard to explain. We run into each other now and then.
She is a real cutey. And if men were like her I guess I would be Bi. LOL.
Hugs,
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
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