I need to talk

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
I need to talk
48
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 11:42am
I love Brandi with all my heart but I feel like we are more like best friends that anything else. She told me last night that we only had sex 1 time all last year. It is true. I was pregnant a lot of the year and was high risk and then you have the post partum time and all that but I dont know why we arent now. Even before I got pregnant we didnt have sex. It was either me not wanting to or her. We cant seem to get it together. When we first got together she didnt want to cause she wanted to cause she thought it would ruin what we were trying to start. Then she said she didnt want to so I just stopped asking. I have always been pretty much a "self" nympho. I dont sleep around and never really have but i have been pleasuring myself since I was 6 (when I figured out what the hand held shower massage was really for!) and still do very often. Well now it is to the point where it is weird to even talk about sex with her. It seems like we are new again or something. Well, that and we have 2 kids. Even when they are at Grammy's house we find excuses. I hate it. I love her and I know she loves me so why is it so weird? I want to have sex with her so bad but I cant initiate anymore. I was shot down too many times I guess. I need help getting out of this. How can I start a conversation about it without it being strange? Thanks for listening and sorry i havent been around much. It is so hard to find computer time when Jeremy wanted to be on it all day but he is back in school today.... YAY!
Thanks again, Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 9:47am
Lafaye, you have been help to me too.
I certainly hope you will stay with the board and get to know everyone else. I sure would miss you already if you left us.
It is nice to have new people join us and bring up some fresh topics. Not that the other's don't but it is always good to have more insight.
Nice meeting you.
I hope we will keep seeing you here.
Hugs,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:04am
We had our talk last night and it is funny how we can both feel the same but dont realize it. Well let me just say that I feel like Gina Gershon in Bound "I can see again." I know all our problems are't gone but this is a start and I am glad I finally talked to her about it. It is funny, after we "made up" I said something about going to Pricilla's (our local adult store) and she said something about not caring for toys... till I said "come on, I have seen you with them before and I know" so I may have talked her into going with me! Course then she asked if she wasnt good enough....GRRRRRR! Neverending huh? I explained my reasoning and she accepts it.....
I never realized this was such an issue with so many of us! It seems like we all have "perfect" relationships. Maybe we have those amoung us that arent nypho's to slow those of us that are down a little! LOL! I hope those of you that need to can get this out in the open. Brandi didnt even realize how I felt and I am so glad I told her. Thank all of you for sharing with me. You have made me feel normal, or as normal as possible anyway! I love you girls!
Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: mjewell52
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:26am

Well, I'm just glad that the both of you are talking about things and you've 'made up'.

Keep up the good work!

I strongly like you, too!

Hugs!

Gigi

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 2:53pm

>>it is funny how we can both feel the same but dont realize it<<


It just goes to show HOW IMPORTANT communication is in a relationship and how if you dont tell someone something they cant read your mind.


I'm soo glad things went well for you hun and that you are working this out. *cheers!!

*hugs

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
In reply to: mjewell52
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 9:01pm

Hello All,

I've been reading this thread because in my relationship my girl is the one who doesn't want to have sex as much as I do. I've talked about it with her because sometimes I do feel reject or neglected and she tells me that she's just too tired or finds some excuse. I know she loves me but sometimes I don't know why she's not horny. At first I would always initate and get rejected so I stopped asking. But now distance is doing some good for us in that aspect but sometimes I try to seduce her without really asking. i know what she likes and what might turn her on so I try to do some of those things and see if that gets her mood to change. I know you (Mandi) are working it out and you had that talk and I'm happy for you that things are working out. Do you know the source of her lack of desire to have sex? Although the intimacy that comes with sex isn't there but do you have more of a problem with it because you in some way feel inadequate? and that causes some frustration? If i'm really horny and my girl just does not feel like it. Sometimes I ask if she help me out a little. Not have sex with me but you kno.....Don't feel quite comfortable enough yet to spill more guts or what I'm allowed to type. After reading these responses those were just some of the things I noticed haven't been addressed but forgive me if I am way off base. Good luck to you and everyone else in similiar situations. I can so feel this bitting me in the ass 10 years down the line when me and my current girlfriend are married and she not budge even a little.

Eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:07pm
I am so happy that the talk went well for you both.
Just don't freak her out with one of those huge old double dildos/aircraft jacks. Start small and ease her back into it. LOL
I mentioned in some other post that Sheila's doctor think it is her hormones due to the problems she has been having and thinks it can be helped. We will see in time. I feel guilty for not trusting her love for me now. But that was what made her/us go to the doctor so at least we are getting some answers.
Good luck!
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:12pm
(((((chibata))))) Welcome to our little club, haaaa.
I think the person who figures out the answer to this would be the richest person in the world.
Why is it a nympho never finds another nympho. Or maybe they do and that is why they are not typing here on a Saturday night. lol.
Take care,
Hugs,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: mjewell52
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:50pm

>>>>Why is it a nympho never finds another nympho<<<<<.

Well, my nymphomaniac is down in West Virginia. I can't wait to be with her. Right now, the only thing keeping me away from her is the weather, and personal obligations like business training, and other important things.

Haaaa, I guess you thought I wasn't going to say something! Seriously though, I'm glad that this particular thread is continuing.

Hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

Avatar for lafaye_ak
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 12:56am

Hi Laurie,

No I'm not going anywhere...
I just figured I'd take a moment to dissimilate all the different things I've learned here and try to find my own answer. Hope things go progressively well for you Laurie.

Lafaye

Avatar for lafaye_ak
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 12:57am

Hi Mandi,

I am so glad your talk was positive. I hope it continues to go well. It gives the rest of us in similar situations hope that it will go as smoothly for us.

Best wishes for you and yours...

Lafaye