I am just wondering....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I am just wondering....
28
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 10:44pm
Been by myself and wanting a relationship. It's been over a year and am looking for a true luv relationship. I'm looking for a I luv you you luv me relationship. Was married for 25 years and have had three relationships since with females. One lasted 8 months, the second lasted over 2 years. She came back after a year and wanted to continue but I decided not because of her past drinking problem. I am looking for a LTR with someone who enjoys sitting at home and watching tv, playing games on the net, (spades, hearts, etc.) andj luving to be with each other. I apogize for my shortness but am hoping for a relationship that is true.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 10:53am
It’s good you know what you want and able to say so. Enduring love is feasible but it take lots of work. At least you wrote down the criteria you’re looking for and advertising it. Someone will see it and will knock on your cyber or real door, one day. The only thing is, are you willing to accept 5 out of ten criteria if she meets it? Will you work for a relationship with her if you meet only 5 out of her ten criteria? Ahh, love…so hard and yet so joyous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 11:52am

Buterflikisses2,

I understand where your coming from. Sometimes what we want is out of our hands. For 3 years I was wanting a relationship just like the one you are describing and couldn't find love. I had my heart broken several times with girls I had a crush on that didn't feel the same for me. Then one day I finally decided that I'm going to make myself happy and that I don't need a loving partner to make me happy and that I'm alright being alone. I was actually beliving what I was saying not just saying it. Then within two weeks I met a girl who wanted the same things as me and with good communication we have had 1.5 years of happiness. Sadly to say all good things must come to an end but I hope that me and my girl will have many more years together. I'm sure everyone here at this community understands where you are coming from but instead of telling you everything will be okay. They are trying to help you out by asking these questions which I think are mostly for you to ponder. I have this one friend who doesn't like relationships because everyone she's been in has been bad. So when a potential girl comes up my friend tends to push them away. After a year or so of this she feels she is ready and seeks a relationship but again its not what she wants. So I told her that I don't think she's ready to have relationship of that magnitude even though thats what she wants. Because when she's ready she wont' push away the good ones. I'm not trying to say that your not ready only that the questions other people have posted are ones that are trying to get you to see why you are in the rut you are. So take a step back examine your life and what it is that you really want. And wait for it. When you least expect it, you'll find it. I know that a cliche but its true.

Take Care
Eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 2:27pm
Nice, Eileen. *Smile*
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 3:42pm
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 9:04pm

The question(s) you asked haven't any concrete answers.

Let me ask you this- Why did the 10 child in Indonesia perish at 10 years of age, yet I have been able to live until 33 years of age?

I bet you couldn't answer that. Well, my question is as ambiguous as yours. There are some questions in life that are uncertain. Posing such a question and expecting a concrete response is useless. Life is uncertain. I have no certainty for tomorrow.

A better question is what is/are your passion(s)? What are the things that bring you joy? Playing the victim will only attract people to you who will victimize you.

I'm a firm believer in a good pity party. But, once you've had your pity party, it is time to pick yourself up and move on.

I would suggest to you to find your passion. Volunteer in a good cause. Or, take a class. Try yoga. Go to church. Find something that interests you and put some time into it. Make yourself happy. No one else can bring you inner happiness.

I can understand your frustrations. I too would love to be in a relationship. But, I've not been successful for several reasons. One, it is hard for me to find a good dating outlet. Two, I don't have much time. I've put other priorities ahead of dating. Three, I'm still learning when it comes to good communication skills. I could go on. Sometimes it is good to review areas that maybe you could brush up on. No matter our age, we never become perfect.

Well, I do wish you the best. Perhaps sometime soon, you and I both will be posting about our new grrlfriends. You never know.

rj :)

rj

Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 9:54pm

Who has the right to say what perfect is??
Everyone's version of being perfect would be different.
You just have to learn to meet someone in the middle
and accept the things you can not change, and love them for
who they are.

Oh, and I agree about the yoga class, I start mine this week,
and so looking forward to it!!

Lea

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 12:47am

Lea,


I agree with you. Perfect is a tricky word. Everyone has their own definition. Everyone has some undesireable traits, even to the ones who love them. But when you love someone, the good outweigh the bad and the bad get overlooked.


I think I need to look into yoga classes, seems to be a popular thing around here, there must be a reason for that.

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 1:52am
My counselor is a firm believer in yoga. She does it and wants me to start. It sounds like a very good thing to me.
Also it won't hurt to get back on the Wellbutrine. Lol.
Hugs,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html

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