Life with a teenager

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Life with a teenager
15
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 8:49pm

I'm having a bad night. My daughter has a new friend over, a boy, she is crazy about him. I don't like him AT ALL. I can see right through him and she is completely smitten(and blind). His friend is here with him, he's an even bigger moron.


Unfortunately they like me, and follow me around the house. I had to come hide in my room to get them away from me. They think I am cool because I swore in front of them once. Idiots. Her new "boyfriend"'s friend asked me to marry him. They annoy me to death.


Poor Jen is left out there to keep her eye on things. Besides -she can't come in our room with me, to avoid questions. My daughter isn't ready to deal with that, and I don't even want her to. So I am not able to hang out with Jen unless I hang out with the rest of them. Even if I could tolerate them I can't act normal in my own house because my life has to be a big fat secret.


These are the days I really hate. When I can't be myself in my own home. I feel like my territory has been invaded. I don't want to cause trouble for Leanne, or myself. I hardly know these boys.


They are asking me to order pizza, I am not feeding these kids. They can go home and eat. It's almost 8pm, they should have eaten by now. OOOOHHHH, I was looking forward to a nice evening at home. Not this.


Thanks for letting me vent.

Sandr

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 8:58pm

Hmmm....sounds like it's time to say, "It's getting late now, boys...Thanks for coming." Shoo them out the door so you can relax in your own home! :o)

Of course, this is easy for me to say since my girls are still 5 and 8 years old. Their play dates are still dictated by me alone! ;o)

Jules

Jules

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 9:21pm
What time did the boys arrive at your house?

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 9:38pm

Oh, I so understand those days. Mine drive me crazy, having 3 or 4 friends over and wanting me to rent movies, and get food for ALL. And their voices, gosh can they ever get so loud.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 9:45pm
Yikes I am thinking here.. Okay what time did these guys get there?.. Perhaps a pizza and them eating with you letting them know that after the pizza they have to go because you all have things to do for your day tomorrow...
Not easy when the boys flirt with ya like that.. I have had that type of thing in my years...I dunno if they think it will make it easier for them with your daughter..
Good Luck Hon..Let us know what transpired..
*Smiles"CAT"
(((((((((((

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 10:07pm

How old is your daughter? I have a 16 year old that falls for every boy that likes her. So it seems. I will be more than happy to help with some advice. I deal with her friends, and my sons friends (he's 18) 24/7.

I'm lucky with this; they all know I'm gay, even though we don't talk openly about it. I'm not openly out, and if they question my children about me, they tell them the truth. Either they like me or they don't. I don't have a partner right now, but, if I did, I still would carry on my life the same.

You don't have to feed them. Set the rules down. ie. When we eat dinner you need to sit in the living room and wait, or go home. No phone calls after 10:00PM. School night curfew is the time you set. Limit the number of children allowed over at one time.

The last boy my daughter dated, I didn't like. For good reasons, I grounded her from seeing him during the week. He was a great distraction to her home work and her house hold chores. If she had her work done, then I gave her permission to see him, only on the weekends. These I had to endure. She was not allowed to be alone with him @ a hicky on her neck. Anywhere she went with him, she needed to have an adult call me. I believe in parental rights, don't be afraid to set down the ground rules. Children love discipline. The relationship fizzled because of the rules. She happy it's over and so am I!

I hope some of this helps you. Have you talked to your daughter about your feelings?

Hope this helps,
halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 10:09pm

Sandra, I can't tell you how to run your home or how to control your daughter, but I would have politely called her to the side, and I would have asked her who the two boys were? Why didn't you say you wanted company? How come these two haven't eaten?

Gently and Respectfully asking: Isn't that your house? When are you going to put your foot down?

I'm sure Jen can help to control things, but when I first read your post, my stomach twisted in a knot. I wouldn't like it if two teenage boys started following me around, I'd be ready to kick them both out. I don't know, maybe I'm way off base here. But, there comes a time when you need peace and quiet.

*Gigi shrugs shoulders.

Here a hug for you. {{{{{{{{{{Sandra}}}}}}}}}}.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 12:03am

Thankfully they got hungry and left, once Jen and I went to the kitchen and made sandwiches for ourselves and they figured out I wasn't buying dinner.


OH, 5 and 8, sounds heavenly! I remember those days....

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 12:05am

They came around 5:30. I was reading in my favorite chair and had just dozed off. When they came in my little dogs barked and woke me. One of the little jerks kicked at my min schnauzer. She's normally a mean little dog, I wish she would have bit him! hehehe


I love my precious angel! (the dog)

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 12:06am
I don't like it when I have an easy day!

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 12:11am

They stayed almost 5 loooong hours. Now my sweet 16 is frantically doing her homework.


We're going to have

Sandr

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