Life with a teenager

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Life with a teenager
15
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 8:49pm

I'm having a bad night. My daughter has a new friend over, a boy, she is crazy about him. I don't like him AT ALL. I can see right through him and she is completely smitten(and blind). His friend is here with him, he's an even bigger moron.


Unfortunately they like me, and follow me around the house. I had to come hide in my room to get them away from me. They think I am cool because I swore in front of them once. Idiots. Her new "boyfriend"'s friend asked me to marry him. They annoy me to death.


Poor Jen is left out there to keep her eye on things. Besides -she can't come in our room with me, to avoid questions. My daughter isn't ready to deal with that, and I don't even want her to. So I am not able to hang out with Jen unless I hang out with the rest of them. Even if I could tolerate them I can't act normal in my own house because my life has to be a big fat secret.


These are the days I really hate. When I can't be myself in my own home. I feel like my territory has been invaded. I don't want to cause trouble for Leanne, or myself. I hardly know these boys.


They are asking me to order pizza, I am not feeding these kids. They can go home and eat. It's almost 8pm, they should have eaten by now. OOOOHHHH, I was looking forward to a nice evening at home. Not this.


Thanks for letting me vent.

Sandr

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 12:13am

Halo, thank you for your advice. All I can think of is that now I know I got your lie question wrong! LOL


Seriously, I hate these years, I may have to email you once in a while. Nice time to be a single parent.....

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 12:20am

I knew who they were, the little jerks have been hanging around here since Christmas. They are from the next town over, and it's a rival town. I wish my daughter wasn't hanging around them. We live in a close community, high school sports are huge around this boring little place. She is hanging with the enemy. Her friends are too. I don't know why. Well, I know why- the one my daughter likes is the quarterback over there.


She is making a huge mistake, and making all her old (male)friends mad, the boys from our town. It's been an issue since the stone ages around here. Leave it to my daughter to get involved. I don't even want there cars in my driveway since the boy across the street who goes to school here, and plays sports here, sees them here.


She's begging for trouble. She's going to get it too.


Speaking of Jen handling it, she punched the little jerk that "likes me" and I'm glad. They think she's just playing around. Jen's an athlete, and quite tough. They like messing with her and she can't stand any of them. They are too stupid to catch on.


OH, my life....it's always something.

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 10:02am

Hello sandralea,

No problem e-mailing me, I will put it in my profile. I loved the Wed (highjacking?) thing! That was fun.

So she's sixteen? Great age!

Here are is how I got rid of him. Since I was grounding her for not getting her work done, she was only allowed to see him on weekends. Her and I usually spend a lot of time together, so I secretively rescheduled our weekly activities, for the weekend. I held off the grocery shopping, took her sight seeing, went to sunday family Karaoke with out him, and devised other excuses to stay away from home. Eventually, he became frustrated and started to complain and pout about her being away all the time. He even tried to control her by getting mad at her everytime she got grounded for not doing her chores! :) She broke it off with him, and is happier now; the chores are getting done because she likes the kid she is semi seeing and is being careful not to upset the boat. I like the new boy too. Much more mature and really a sweet kid.

Try heading her in a direction away from the other kids. There must be something that she likes to do that doesn't interest the others. Is she interested in learning to play an instrument?

About the partner situation, actually, this is the time I would like to have a partner. Their maturity level allows me to have more freedom to come and go. I have been through two partners with my children, and have quite a few tales to tell. Wish I knew then what I know now! :)

halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 10:19am

Halo,


Are you being sarcastic about 16 being a great age? I can't stand it!


I want my little girl back. I miss her. Don't misunderstand - she is physically with me, but things changed since about 14. Now all she wants to do is go, go, go! She has lots of friends, they all have cars. She plays sports, is on student council, and is boycrazy. Oh, she LOVES to shop. She's always asking to go somewhere. I say no alot, but even if I keep her home her mind is where the action is. She doesn't want to hang out with me like she used to.


The other day I did get a nice suprise. She is working on a Power Point presentation for school. She dedicated one slide just to me. It has pics of me, and a bulleted list with little facts about me. The last bulllet says "She is my best friend" You can only imagine how happy that made me.


I love that little pain in the rear!

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 1:23pm

No, I'm not being sarcastic, grinning.....8-)

I do love it. See, my kids have been thru hell and back. They have had to endure taking care of their ill grandpa. 5+ years of being called upon to do this and that. John get me a cigarette, Jess get me a drink, no friends allowed to come in the house, no trips away from home cuz we couldn't leave. Then dealing with their grandma and grandpa's death, the divorce, dealing with their father's endless lies and weird chick that he married, plus having to spend two weekends out of each month with their dad. Moving away from what few friends they had, and going through my past relationship who was a control freak! She had a tainted childhood, and unrealistic expectations from them, and they weren't allowed any friends to visit. and it gets, worse...longer story.

Do I love them at this age now? Yes, absolutely! They are coming into their own and I'm loving it. They are happy, and free to grow. And I, I'm enjoying every minute of it!

My DD still wants to hang with me, and I guess that's why I don't feel the way you do. My son still gives me hugs, and is very much involved with our at home life. I do admit that he has his own life, and soon I will begin to feel the separation that you are feeling. He's going to get a job now. We have never discussed him moving out, which I suspect will happen after his senior year. He want's to become a Navy Seal. I have a few years left for Jess. I will be sad when they are finally gone. There's a part of me that wants to adopt one of those children who survived the Sunami! Then again, there's a bigger part of me that wants to find a partner to share the rest of my life with. :)

It's okay to feel the way you do. There are days when I wish I had them back again when they were smaller, and the way they used to talk, and I was the center of their world.

halo

hugs

halo

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