need opinions?????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
need opinions?????
18
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 1:07am
I was thinking...???because of something recent...(more details later)...I am wondering if people here smoke and if not would you date a smoker ...you were really attracted to....if you are a smoker ...would you quit smoking for someone you were really attracted to????thanks....Jo

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 3:32am

Jo,


I have been a smoker for 21 years. I would not quit for anyone, embarrassingly enough I know that for a fact.


Here's a pathetic story....


My daughter is the most beautiful child ever, she always was. (all mother's think that - but mine really is!LOL) Once when she was about 4, and simply adorable, she looked at me with her big brown eyes and said "Mommy, please don't smoke" I still smoke. If I couldn't do it for that face, I won't do it for anyone.


I hate smoking. It ruins my life, and my health. I can't smoke in public, I am too ashamed. You can't smoke anywhere these days anyway, not even outside in my state. You have to be within 50 feet of a building. I hate the smell on my hair, clothes, and breath. Half the time I can't kiss my girlfriend because I am too embarrassed. But, I am petrified to quit, I have tried. I have been hypnotized in a group, hypnotized individually, had pins put in my ears by an accupuncturist, used nicotine gum, patches, tried cold turkey, and even antidepressants. I still smoke.


I feel like a prisioner, a hostage. I hate it. Smoking is my biggest regret of my life. Barely anyone knows I smoke. I hide it well, but still manage to get that pack in everyday. I don't even smoke in my house, I go to the garage.


OK, well, I just made a simple question complicated - here's the short version - yes, I smoke, nope, can't quit.

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 8:43am

Well, Jo, I look at it this way, everyone has a bad habit. If you can accept that person as she is, then what is the problem? It's up to her if she wants to quit, but I wouldn't not date someone if she has a bad habit.

As long as she doesn't harm you or anyone else. My sweetie smokes, but that's what she wants to do. She's said to me, that she's tried to stop before. But that is her issue.

So, what can I do, but wait for her to stop.

Hope that helps.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 9:04am

Hey Jo,

For me personally, I couldn't date a smoker. I don't like the smell of ciggie smoke. When you smoke, the odor permeates everything- furniture, carpet, clothes, etc. Her breath would smell like ciggie smoke as well. So, I couldn't kiss her because her breath odor would turn me off. I lose my appetite around ciggie smoke too. So, I couldn't eat around her either.

Definately non-smokers for me.

rj :)

rj

Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 11:00am
No, I don't smoke, never even tried it. Brandi smoked when we first met but she knew I didnt like it and my son is allergic so she quit before I moved in. Now, if I were single, I would definitly not date a smoker. When I met Brandi I lived with several smokers so I didnt really smell it but now that I am never around it, it drives me crazy to smell it. I get a really bad headache. I yell at people smoking in their cars with children. That pisses me off more than anything! Another reason I wouldnt is b/c when Jeremy was 3 weeks, I took him to a dr appt and the dr told me I need to quit smoking for my baby and I didnt smoke, we lived with my mom and she smoked but I didnt even know we smelled like it. I had to leave the office to get her to let off me!
Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 11:12am

Jo,

I do not smoke but I would date a smoker that I was really attracted too, but I would not ask them to quit. It is something they have to do for themselves otherwise they'll never quit and if they do they'll resent you for it. I try not to date smokers but unfortunately all the ones I'm attracted to smokes. If the smoke bothers me a lot I usually leave the room or ask them to smoke somewhere else but most of the times i'm fine with it. If they are a really heavy smoker then I would shy away from dating them. See my problem is when I met my gf she smoked like one or two cigs a day. Now she smokes way more and I'm not sure what I can do about it. I still love her though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 11:48am

I am not a smoker, but am attracted to one,


she is very careful to smoke outside, doesn't bother me


cause I never see her.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 2:29pm
Yes, I smoke. Yes, for someone I was completely into I would quit (as I've done before). If I were to quit smoking, I would not rule someone out that still smokes and would not try to get her to quit for me (maybe for her own health, but I wouldn't push it).

every great journey begins with one step

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 10:12pm
Hummm... Thats a good question Jo...
I am not a smoker... never was....
My partner is.. and although I at times get bugged by it, for the most part it doesn't bother me, except that I worry about her health at times and mine to for the various times I do get some of the second hand smoke.. She smokes outside in the hallway, not in house.. But she does smoke in the car, but keeps it near the window at all times and the smoke going out..I didn't think when I met her about the fact that she smoked.. I knew her for some years before, and when we hooked up ,all those years I never thought of it.. I was attratced to her any ways or perhaps I was attracted to her and didn't think of the smoking, because at the time it was not as big a thing for quitting for people as it is now days.. I was with my ex that never smoked either so all those years I was away from smoke...
Would I get into a relationship again with a

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 3:16am
I am using the patch but after day 2 it really got to me. I told sheila to bring me a pack of cigs. I am smoking them now but will put a patch back on when I am finished with the pack. It is not easy to quit.
I am going to keep trying though, I know I have to.
I know how you feel!
Hugs
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 10:41am

Hi Jo,

Everyone I meet seems to be a smoker. For most woman that I see smoke, it becomes an immediate turn off for me. Then every now and then there comes one that I feel really attracted to and I think well, maybe? I tried to give a business presentation to someone who smoked and it kept coming in my face; so at this moment in my life I have to definitely say no! When I see people smoking, I can't help feeling bad for them because I know what it's doing to their body. I wish there was something that can be done to break the habit easily for people. It's a drug addiction and a habit, that is hard to break!

I will say that when I owned my bar, that I purchased two huge HEPA filters. When I went home my clothes never smelled like I was at work. I bought them for my customers in hope that it would draw in non-smokers. They really work wonders, so get one for your home and it might help eliminate the odors that linger in your home.

halo

hugs

halo

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