Personal Ad advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Personal Ad advice
15
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 5:56pm

I was wondering what you all think about responding to personal ads to make friends. Jen and I would like to have some friends to hang out with. People that we can be ourself around. That can know we are a couple. All of our friends are straight. Well, all of our friends are my straight friends and she doesn't keep in touch with anyone actually.


I wanted to reply to some ads but I have a couple concerns. I am afraid if I look for women around my age (35) they won't want to hang out with us because Jen is so young (18). If I answer ads from people in their early 20's, they might not want to hang out with me, only Jen.


You know, this age differnce thing is a real pain in the butt.


Another concern I have is this, when they list

Sandr

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 6:54pm

Well, Sandra, my best suggestion is when you apply, the seciton where it says "Friends only" check that.

Simply state that you already have a girlfriend, and you don't have to enter her age. That's the best thing I can suggest. As we have said to you many different times, age is just a number. It's all in the attitude, and maturity level. It really shouldn't matter what other people think about how young or old Jen is, that even shouldn't be an issue.

You want friends, not judges, right? Well, my suggestion is to not go into any bars that might card Jen. Simple.

Hope that helps.

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 7:11pm
Yeah, come hang out with us! We don't have friends either. All of Brandi's are druggies and forget to come see us 5 mins after they call and my friends kinda split when I moved in with Brandi (not cause they dont like her but it is farther than they want to drive).
Me personally, I don't know about ads. You never really know what they are wanting. But you never know till you talk to the people. Never know...
Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 7:52pm

I'm trying to stay warm in NC tonight. Heating some water for hot chocolate right now!

I'm not a fan of online dating or ads. But, that doesn't mean that some people haven't had success with them. If I were you, I would expect to get some responses that aren't so desirable. It is a part of the experience unfortunately. For example, back in '95 when I became separated from my husband, I put an ad in the Charlotte Observer. It was placed in the alternative lifestyles section under women seeking women. But, I only had one response. Guess who it was from? A married couple!

I think what your first mission should be is to stop with the age issue. If you worry about it, others will pick up on that worry. So, somehow in your mind, you need to resolve that. There will always be those who will not accept you as a couple- whether that be because you are both women or some other issue. The important thing is that you believe in your love together. That is all that matters.

And, I would suggest doing things locally as a couple. Visit a local PFLAG chapter. Or, volunteer for a local AIDS organization. Hang out together at a gay/lesbian bookstore if you have one. Go to a coffee house together. We have a coffee house in downtown. It is a very liberal type establishment. You can hear poetry readings. Listen to jazz. There are even sofas for you to sit on plus dining tables to sit. Get involved locally if there is something gay/lesbian based. Don't limit yourself to lesbian friends. Gay men are fun too!

Good luck to you and Jen!

Take care,

rj

rj

Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 9:49pm

Thanks for your advice Gigi, actually she is old enough to be in a bar at 18, she just can't really drink. Actually there is a family exemption to the drinking age of 21 in Oklahoma, as well as many other states. As long as you are with family and have their consent you can drink after age 18. That is actually a law as of Jan 2004, they just didn't announce it.

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 10:45pm
You know, it's so weird doing things like this - looking for friends is never something I thought I would run an ad for! LOL

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 11:22pm

RJ,


It's cold in NC right now? Hope the hot chocolate warms you up!


I'm really leary about the ad thing, afraid in a way. I hear so many horror stories. I can't believe a couple approached you, or that a woman flashed you because she "thought you would like it".

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 11:56pm

Are there any gay bowling leagues?


Court and I are finally making friends--through church and through the college.

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 12:36am

Well, that's good Sandra, I'm glad that things are workable for you and Jen.

Hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 1:34am

Kim,


I was thinking about going to the UU church in a nearby town to check it out. But, I would feel bad joining just to meet new people. I need to look into the belief system and thought process of that religion before I decide. I think it may be a great fit for me, but I have put it off.


I love to bowl, I bowl in a sisters tournament every March in my hometown. I stink. Sometimes, I break 100 and feel like a pro! My parents have trophys all over the basement, they are big into bowling. I didn't get that gene.


I'm going to start looking around for things to do...

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 2:57am
We have made friends through, work, comedy, the bars, softball (when I could play) taking classes at one of the play houses, through other friends, at cookouts, we have a game night at one of the gay bookstores where anyone is invited, live music shows of local bands, getting involved in our Gay Pride. tHE GAY BOOKSTORES ARE GREAT PLACES TO FIND OUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR AREA. << There is also a lesbian pot luck here every month to get together and meet people.
Look up Gay Pride in your area and call and ask them where to go and what to do. When you get invited places and to events etc just go.
Gay bars are not just about drinking, they are places for other shows and gathering places to meet people.
Good luck, and I would stay away from the ads.
Hugs to you and Jen,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html

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