Could use some different opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Could use some different opinions
17
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 6:19pm
Hi Everyone,
I guess I am what is termed a lurker. I should introduce myself. I am 33, have two cats, a fish and live in California and have just gotten out of a 7 month relationship with my GF who is 25. It all happend very suddenly, we rarely fought, and suddenly she decides after a party we attended that she wanted to be alone, that she always does this in relationships, gets too involved, doesnt know who she is anymore , etc etc. She told me after we attended this party that it reminded her of her single days, her free days and though I have treated her better than any lover, that she had thought she could actually grow old with me, she needed time to miss me again. 2 weeks later we , she broke up with me. I had been single for several years and wasnt looking, and definitely not for someone with such an age difference, but we met, started emailing eachother, met up at a club one night, and we fell, cautiously in love since we both werent looking. But, it happend. The last several months have been the happiest of my life, I guess you dont know how lonely you are until you meet someone who you really click with. We liked the same books, movies etc etc but had enough differences to make things interesting and fun. Its been two months, she has a personal ad up on a dating site, I've heard she is dating several people (one she met at that party!). She never really told me why we broke up, only that the one time I've seen her out she said she missed me and thinks of me often. She has a new group of friends, not the ones I hung out with her with, they are all single, have dated eachother or whatnot and it seems so , well , shallow. Is this just an age thing and should I have known better? If I am so great, why leave? My friends are all in long term relationships and rarely go out anymore, so for me to go out, would be to be alone and seeing my previous GF and her new dates, friends etc etc, and frankly feels humiliating, but where am I to go to meet new people? LA can be small town when you're gay and not 21 anymore. Any advice would be welcome! Thanks for listening!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 6:41pm

Dear lucky70, hello my name is Gigi. Welcome to Lesbian Life. My suggestion to you is to just move on and leave her alone. If she wants to be single, let her. Unfortunately, I don't live in LA, but what I can tell you is that age shouldn't be an issue, but I wouldn't wait around for her. She seems to have made her decision. You are still a young woman, and you seem to want stability. Mind you, I have nothing against a relationship where one is older than the other, but when you just dropped like a hot potato because your partner wants to be single again, well, what does that say about her and her attitude? I wouldn't want to anywhere near her. You have your life to live, and she seems to be living hers, so go and find someone, regardless of the age, and be happy. Believe me, I know it's not easy, but that was very cold.

Anyway, thanks for coming out of lurkdom, and it's good to see you. Please keep coming around. Everything will be ok.

Hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 6:59pm

Hi Lucky and Welcome!


I hate to generalize and I know there are exceptions to every rule but in this case I would have to sight the age thing as a possible reason for her sudden change of heart.

*hugs             

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 7:34pm

Hi Lucky!


I am NO expert; I haven't even taken my lesbian proficiency test yet.

Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:18pm

Welcome Lucky!


I think you are lucky.


My girl is 18 and I am 35. We have the opposite problem, she never wants to be apart. I am completely suffocating - I could send her to you if you want.


I am sorry to sound like a smart ***, I am having a really rough night.


I am so glad you came out of lurkdom, please stay a while - normally I am not such a jerk.


Gigi, Caly, and Scarlet gave you good advice - don't chase anyone, no one should ever do that.


Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:30pm

(((((((Sandra))))))))

I'm sorry that you are having a rough night. Don't take this the wrong way, but you are so amusing. I mean that in a nice manner. From you Dyke symbol to the Have a Gay Day graphic- LOL

Take care,

rj

rj

Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:37pm
Oh how I try Rose.....


Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:04pm

Welcome to Lesbian Life, lucky.

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:06pm

I was fixin to post how Sandra made me laugh tonight.


She can send me her g/f anytime.


Lea

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:19pm
((((((((((((((Hugs Sandra)))))))))))) Sorry your having a rough night..
Hope you get some rest when you feel it's time.. and hope all turns out great for you..
((((((((((Hugs))))))))))

((((Hugs))))


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 9:21pm

Hey sweetie are you staying warm? We are suppose to have some ice in the morning. I hope it isn't enough that they close the Y.

I'll email you sometime this weekend.

Hugs,

rj

rj

Franco Harris of the Pittsburgh Steelers in 197

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