Giving up the crush???

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Giving up the crush???
5
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 9:57am
I couldn't write about this last weekend, because I was still too upset/hurting, etc.
You all know I have had a crush on my aerobics instructor, Jamie, for about 2 years... ever since I went to my first class with her. At that time, she was just an instructor up on stage, and I idolized her. A lot of people do because she is soooo good and has the best body- tight abs, beautiful arm and leg muscles, etc etc. Plus she loves to hug or wink at you from stage, etc.
Since then we have gotten to be really close friends. We have so little in common... she is a little on the "rough" side, cusses frequently, much wilder than me and more of a risk taker, a fighter too. I think that edginess attracts me even more. I know that a few other women have been attracted to her too and I can't help but think she has gotta' be sending off some signals.
This past summer, we talked about how some people have gay tendencies. I told her that I do. She said that she absolutely does not. But I didn't believe her!
About a month ago I went off the pill and my hormones have been really screwy, along w/ my emotions! I started to want her SO BAD!!!!
I finally told her, in a round about way on the phone. She immediately changed the subject. I said, "You don't want to talk about this, do you?" She said, "There is nothing to talk about. It's pretty cut and dry- you are, I"m not."
The next night she called me to meet her and another friend out for a beer. (This was the night before the sleeping late and not taking my DD to school!!!!Ay!) Toward the end of the night I brought it up again and she shook her head and said, "It is not in the genes."
That was a good answer because it didn't hurt my feelings. It just popped my little fantasy bubble.
Some of you have talked about loving someone so much it hurt. That's how I felt.
After that, I was was so scared she wouldn't want to talk to me. She kind of avoided me that w/end and I was MISERABLE.
Then Mon we went out to lunch. I told her I was so worried she was upset w/ me, and she said, "You should know me by now. If I'm upset w/ you I will let you know." WE had a great lunch. I paid, and she said, "Oh, I was gonna' get your lunch!"
That night I saw the Dr. and he upped my Zoloft... he said it probably was the hormones, but anyway I would feel better.
Now I am back to feeling "normal" again- not so emotional.
But I think I am gonna' have to give up this crush!!!!
I had to write it all out so I could think about it some more... Thanks for giving me room to vent!
Brownie
Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 9:59am
Sorry, I meant to post this in the board above, not Fun and Games!! Can you move it up there?
Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 1:15pm

Sorry about the crush....I train a marathon runner who thinks she is a lesbian. I don't think so. She had a crush on me. Were the best of friends now... Sometimes it's for the best. Soon or later, she probably would have wanted someone else anyway. I'm just not attracted to her physically. She's gorgeous, and now she has the body to go along with her Jamie Lee Curtis face. Go figure, I'm not attracted to Jamie Lee Curtis....sheesh

hang in there,
halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 4:57pm


I can understand having a crush on someone, and let me tell you, it made me feel like I was walking on air. The only thing about having the crush, I simply had to say something to the woman, that I had the crush on. And can speak to and be around this person, and behave myself. I told my crush about how I felt about her, and she clearly stated that she's not interested in me in that respect. So, all I have done is let her do what she wants and to accept her as she is. Even though her actions towards me are confusing, and sometimes she says things that either catch me off guard, or she doesn't say anything at all. But, all I can do is just sit back and observe.

Thanks and hugs!

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 7:06pm

(((((Brownie)))))


That was a very brave thing you did, and even though you didn't get the results you'd hoped for, I'm really proud of you. By your description, it's no wonder you've been so smitten with her .. even the way she handled your feelings shows what a nice woman she is.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Tue, 01-25-2005 - 10:03am
Thanks, Guys! Or should I say, Gals! I really appreciate the support. That is what is so wonderful about this board... everyone is so good at "listening" and supporting eachother.
Hugs to all!!
Brownie
Photobucket