Seriously Disturbed

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Seriously Disturbed
16
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 11:21pm

Sorry ladies, had to remove this one out of consideration to Laurie and Sadie...


Sandr

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2002
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 11:48pm

Hi Sandra,


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:04am

Sandra Lea,

I'll take the resounding pop and responsibility on that one. That was my divorce, and not everyone has the same experiences. Sorry you took offense. My children were better off, and I have been celebrating, as have my children....no offense; not everyone will experience life in the same way. I'm sorry for those who's marriages have failed and sorry for them if they are sad, and if their children are crying and broken hearted as you say. I believe there was a poster who gave Ting that message. As for myself, I will not feel bad. Nor will I feel bad for my children....you weren't in my relationship....The best thing, and only thing good about my 12 year relationship are my children and for that, I will never regret. I also am guilt free, and I won't let anyone try to guilt me, because of their experience.....No offense.....

one other thing, and I seriously don't want to be rude.... "I guess my point is that I feel like I am part of something that I don't like" this sounds like a big slam to those of us who don't meet up to your expectations...being able to post our feelings and experiences with out being hammered like you just did, is what i like about this board. I'm seriously disturbed that you want to lay this on the new CL's before the day is over. No offense.......

halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:10am

Thanks for understanding Lori, I appreciate your post.


"I'm thinking it would be LESS threatening and hard for them to deal with if it were a man and I think I'm right on that issue but would be interested to hear others thoughts!"


I think you are right, if you were a man that would be "normal" (as in more accepted) and I think kids can handle that better.




Sandra




Edited 2/4/2005 12:24 am ET ET by sandralea33


Edited 2/4/2005 12:33 am ET ET by sandralea33

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:13am
Awwwww sandra,
Yes, divorce does change alot of lives. My parents were divorced. Eventually I did get used to it and their being apart seemed normal.
I do not want to speak for others, but I think that they are just feeling free to be the true person they are for the first time.
To have to live as someone you are not is difficult and I have to wonder if it is even unhealthy emotionally. So in that respect I wonder if that is fair to the family.
Maybe in some home/families, the environment becomes toxic. I know it was in my family before my parents were divorced. My sister and I used to pray for them to get a divorce. We felt the tension and heard the late night arguements and Mom crying when they thought we were sleeping. Our stomaches would be in knots.
I think they are only celebrating their freedom and identity. I also hear them talk of their concern for the kids.
As for the ex's I only know that each case is different and sometimes only the couple knows how bad things were between them, behind closed doors.
It is unfortunate that somebody has to be hurt in most divorce cases.
It is very sweet that you feel so deeply about your ex and daughter.
Others may not have had such good husbands or relationships.
I think each case is different because they each involve different individuals.
I hope I have passed the test sandra.
Good post. I am sure you will have alot of responses.
Thanks,
And hugs,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:23am

Halo,


I didn't even have you in mind. I wasn't even thinking of your situation. You are fairly new here and I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about myself and some others here in a similar situation to mine and have posted that way.


I am going to remove my post, for Laurie and Sadie. I would hate to hear one other person on this board accuse me of trying to give them trouble.


Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:31am

Laurie,


You handled it just as eloquently as I expected you to, thank you!


I had to remove the post though, it would have caused too much trouble.


I really just wanted to talk about something deep and important and meaningful. Something that has been on my mind. You know, I have been posting here for a looooong time. There has been alot of fun and joking here lately, we have lost important members partly due to lack of in depth conversation. I have to say the mood is lighter, and everyone who is still here, and the newbies, seem happy. That is good. Change is good.


Love ya Laurie!


Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:53am

Sandra Lea,

I took it personal because, when Ting posted her thread about her divorce, my post was the only one that celebrated my divorce. Everyone else wrote supportive comments to her, as even you did. I saw nothing in any ones post on Tings that matched what you were saying in your post except for mine. Plus, those were strong words from you about not liking it here. I don't pull punches, and I am sorry for the way you felt. I hope you don't mind that I was candid with you. I felt bad about saying that, but, I couldn't call it any other way. And again, I meant no disrespect....No need to remove anything, you are allowed your opinion the same as I.....

hugs
halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:53am
Sandra,
I wish that you did not remove the post. If I felt that I could not handle it, I would not have applied for co-cl.
I only hope that we can get it back or that you could repost it.
I love the indepth and serious posts too. I though your's would be a long thread.
what can we do? Can you repost it. I will see what I can do.
Please do not ever think that you should not post something that is on your mind, that is what this board is about. The serious as well as the light posts.
You should feel free to post anything and never worry about sadie and I being to fragile. Promise me that ok?
Hugs,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 1:09am
Geez!!!!
Stay away from this place a few extra hours and also.. I miss some post!..
I would like to know what it was about.. You know this curious "CAT"..
(((Hugs to all)))

((((Hugs))))


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 1:13am
I have vays of making that post re-appear and I am working on it
I thought it was a good one and very thought provoking.
I feel it will be a long running thread
hugs,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html

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