Seriously Disturbed original Post

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Seriously Disturbed original Post
26
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 1:37am

discussion title:
Seriously Disturbed
emoticon:
Emoticon
message #:
8363.1
from:
sandralea33 Member Icon
date:
11:21 pm
replies:
1

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I have been reading through posts here tonight and I found myself feeling very sad. I am not quite sure what I am going to say in this post yet - or how to say this without making anyone mad or defensive. As you read it, just remember I am in the same boat and not judging anyone or critisizing anyone as I did the same thing.

Sadie, Laurie, let's test your CL skills.....LOL! Sorry to do this to ya girls I just feel like I should say something.

I feel very guilty. I am seriously disturbed when I read posts about divorce and celebration. I am sure I did the same thing, well, I'm not sure but if someone wants to look back and check I had to cover my backside. Anyway, many of us here are recently divorced - most if not all of us have one or more children involved. Most of us left behind heartbroken husbands. My family was ripped apart and all I can say is whoo hooo I am a lesbian!

That seems wrong.

I know we can't all sit around feeling bad all the time. But it seems disrespectful to our kids, and our ex husbands to celebrate our new lives while they are left wondering what the heck happened. My daughter will never be the same since my divorce, my coming out, and all that goes with it. Should I be cheering about that? I feel a little selfish. Luckily, I didn't lose much time with my daughter in the divorce, she only goes with her Dad a couple hours a week and that's not regular. But Thanksgiving was hard, and Christmas was hard. Her life is hard because of me.

No, I wasn't happy in my marriage all the time - but it was stable, and secure and predictable - things kids need. Why did we take that from our kids? Couldn't we have waited, sacrificed for them? Shouldn't they be #1? Didn't we all look at them they day they were born and promise to give them the best life possible?

OK, I am rambling. I guess my point is that I feel like I am part of something that I don't like. How can we all celebrate our sexuality while our children cry themselves to sleep at night. If you think they don't, and they wouldn't put their life back how it was you are in denial. Someone help me out here.

Sandra

Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 1:21pm

Sandra, you did not make me feel that way, please know that. Those feelings had already been there. I did come here for the support, and have enjoyed so much from everyone here.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 9:55pm
Ohhhhh ((((((Lea)))))))) Only you will know when or what is right for you.. The time will come when you will say enough and make changes..P.S. You are very welcome here..
(((((Hugs)))))



((((Hugs))))

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 9:59pm
Awwwwww ~Thanks Sandra and

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sun, 02-06-2005 - 9:53pm

I'm late to chime in here.

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 1:07am
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Mon, 02-07-2005 - 9:33am

(((((((((((Lea))))))))))) You are definitely in the right place. I very much understand what you're feeling and are going through. Feel free to email me through my profile if you ever want to talk cause I've certainly been where you are.


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