good news

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2002
good news
8
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 10:01am
Hi everyone, I got a job working as a social worker at a Health and Rehab center in the next town over. I will be working full time, with great salary and benefits , I start on the 21st. I should be able to save and get a car by the 1st weekend in June.
This person that I had dated in Jan. and sent me an email , she told me that I was a dangerous person and that she will make sure that anyone that I come in contact with at the church knows that I am dangerous, can she slander me like this? She said if I even so much says hi to her at church that she will do anything to put a restrainting order against me. This is all in response from last weeks final conversation when I ended it and when I told her to throw a book out I gave her to borrow. She said she is not interested in my world, which I am not in hers either.
Just because I had a melt down last weekend doesn't mean that I am a bad person, this person has at least 3 ex's at this church and they were talking about me which I overheard, and they avoided me. For the most part, I enjoy this church and the people in it , should I speak with the pastor on this issue, or will this person make every attempt of my trying to make friends with other women , impossible. Thanks for the input.
I did have a woman from church come and give me her phone number to meet for lunch last week, so I called we agreed to meet on Friday and she never called or showed up. So I saw her in church Sunday and we talked. I called last night and we are having lunch today. I hope that was okay to call, I seem to doubt myself on what to do and how to get to know people, from this awful experience I gone through, is this normal?
I am myself and not a bad person, and truly like myself and want to meet others for friendship. I am also afraid if this person or her exs find out where I am working , that my job will be jeopardized.
Everyone have a great Valentines Day, gracemae59
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: gracemae59
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 10:11am

Gracemae,

Why would she call you a dangerous person and turn people against you? What happened to make her call you that?

CONGRATS ON THE NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you!

Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2002
In reply to: gracemae59
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 10:15am
Hi sandra, well this person, herself was in a state hospital twice within the past 3 yrs once for suicide attempt. So when I had my melt down, she told me that it is different down here, and that I don't need to be asking for help or getting rides to places, because of the lack of transportation I have. She told me that I unhinged, not a nice person to be with or around, that I should not work because I have too many "issues", and that nobody was going to love me or want to be with me, how does someone go frrom be nice to being real mean. gracmeame59
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: gracemae59
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 10:19am
She sounds like an idiot, stay away from her. I am so sorry this all happened to you. Hang in there Gracemae.
Now that you found a job you should be too busy to worry about it anyway, if you like that church don't let her run you out of it. Hold your head high and keep going. Soon people will see who the real weirdo is.
Hugs, Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: gracemae59
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 2:15pm
Hi Gracemae,
I can't really understand what you mean by having a melt down unless you get a bit more specific.
I think people are entitled to having a meltdown now and then.
I would avoid this other person as much as possible.
Yes, talk to the Pastor of your church, that is what they are there for.
How will you get to work without transportation? Did the car finally die on you?
I don't understand why she told you that you shouldn't be asking for transportation help.
She doesn't sound like all that great of a person.
Not sure about you, but I cannot be in a church where people could be turned against me because of one persons gossip. I would find another church. Yes, I think you should call people if they give you there number. They give it to you because they want you to call.
If someone gives me their number I call, that does not mean I would abuse it and call all the time, but I would call.
I only give my number out if I realy want the person to call.
This ex of yours seems like she uses church for her own meat market rather than a church to worship and be renewed. Where is her forgiveness? Does she even need to forgive you? Or does she just enjoy picking on someone and having as many people as possible take her side. I would move on gracmae, I am sure you can find better than this.
Take care, and do talk with the pastor.
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
In reply to: gracemae59
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 7:13pm

First off congrats on the job!


Okay, now on this woman......I have to agree with Laurie that I would not want to be affiliated with a church - or any organization for that matter - where the other patrons can be convinced of something by one person's gossip, not to mention one person who has a history of mental issues. As much as you seem to like this church, I have a feeling this woman is going to make it hell (pun not intended) on you as long as you attend. Sure, talking to the pastor may be a positive thing, maybe he can help you or at least get word out to the other patrons that you do not deserved to be judged in the light this woman is putting you in. My personal advice is to move to this next town over where your job is at, find a new church, cut off all contact with this woman and move on.


How did your lunch date go today? Please keep us posted hun!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: gracemae59
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 1:12am
((((Grace))))I agree with what all Laurie said ..and even more with Sadie... with her thought of moving the next town over and get into another church.
Or even go and see about getting a restraining order against this person(She doesn't seem like she's wrapped to tight)..
Seriously!.. You've got another new start.. You'll do great.. just stay away from.. and out of contact with this person..
(((((((Hugs Hon))) Do keep in touch..

((((Hugs))))


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
In reply to: gracemae59
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 4:20am

Congratulations on the new job, Gracemae! That's fantastic news!


As for this woman you speak of...sounds to me as though she's the unhinged one. No matter what your 'meltdown' entailed, she surely knows you better than to think such terrible things of you. Seems to me that these insults could be prompted by her resentment at you ending things with her. Some people are just plain mean in situtations like this. She's probably thinking if she can't have you then she'll make sure nobody else can. It's a petty, childish reaction, Gracemae. I don't think I'd give her any validation by responding in a way that she can see...don't let her know that this is affecting you. That's precisely what she wants.


Moving church may be a good idea...though you could always have a word with the pastor and continue to attend that church with your head held high; show people that you have nothing to be ashamed of. People WILL see the good person you are, Gracemae. You just have to keep being yourself.


Let us know how the lunch date goes...and the new job.


Loubie and Nony

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
In reply to: gracemae59
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:13am

Woooot!

 *Hugs ~  Caly

aka