Okay, big vent for me...
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Okay, big vent for me...
| Sun, 02-20-2005 - 9:56am |
**edit**
While Im still cranky, I dont want to air dirty laundry that way. LOLOL
Thanks for the advice all..
Edited 2/20/2005 4:54 pm ET ET by alishagrrl2000

Such a bad start to a beautiful morning. :(
Don't feel bad about your decision. Sometimes following your gut is the best thing that you can do for a child. We all have this grande os idea that we should cuddle and nurture children no matter how crappy they are. Truth is, the more discipline, the better behaved they will become. When he see's life is no longer happening because you are taking a stand, then you will have his attention. Children love to test that line, and he's testing you constantly to see what mommy dearest is going to do. My children played that same game, as do all children. Doesn't matter what life style you choose, they do it in the straight community as well. They pin mommy against daddy, to get what they want. Fortunately for me, I don't have to share ill moments like that with a partner right now...but I have in the past.
MY Beef (I had a recent rare and spiteful moment from my son the other night. His buddies sided with me, and calmed him down and made him feel guilty. Made my job a bit easier, because truthfully, I won't allow him to talk to me the way he did, and I was ready to kick him to the curb side. He's 18 and I can do that now. He has no job, and wants to up grade the computer constantly, and it's money money money from me that he wants. Time for him to get a job).
My favorite line to my children when I've reached the end of my rope is this: I owe you nothing other than providing you with food, clothing and shelter. You want me to do something for you, that is a privilage that you must earn. Change the attitude or sit here and do nothing.
Whatever happens with you and your GF, is not an area for me to give advice on. My last GF was an oddity, and I still have no clue as to why she behaved the way she did towards my children. They literally were prisoners in their own home. She tried to control everything they did. They weren't allowed to sit in our living room and watch TV with us. So there are opposite extremes out there,. Raising a child is a balancing act. You just have to find the fulcrum, and hope that the teeter totter stays level. Hard thing to do. If you can get her to sit in the middle with you, you stand a chance of turning the BRAT around.
My true advice is stick to your guns for now, and don't feel guilty about this morning, that only fuels his need to manipulate you even more. Especially if he sees you and her arguing about it. Good luck,
hugs
halo
hugs
halo
Oh gosh, that sounds like a nightmare to me! I'm not much into children, though I'll admit children tend to warm up to me rather fast. I don't know why. Last Christmas, my cousin's daughter took up with me for what reason I'll never know. She was up all in my world the entire day. I've not been crawled on so much in my entire life. LOL But, to have that responsibility daily...No thanks. It simply isn't my cup of tea.
I hope things get better soon for you. It sounds to me as if you have exhausted all avenues. The mother sounds rather lax too.
(((((Alisha)))))
buggie
It doesn't matter whether children are raised in a straight household or a lesbian household. Children will try to test the limits of your rules. BOTH adults must act as a team - tag team, if you will. The adults must back each other, or else the children will know that the rules are not enforceable.
Alisha,
I didn't read the unedited version, but I will tell you it is important to stay very consistent when dealing with children.
Carol, In love with the most beautiful woman in the world.