a song

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
a song
7
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 10:31pm

Ladies,

I haven't been feeling good here, and I'm not going to run as I planned..Your right Laurie, I must stand for myself regardless of how I feel now. I hope your are right. Right now I'm leaning on the wind, that's all I can do.......

So here's a song for all to share:

I am fe-eling a little dis-sheveled today
floating somewhere....... between shades of blue and gray,
and I am feeling a little confu-sed
going back and forth about you

and I am.... holding
tears back with my tears,
yeah my jaw is clenched
standing outside.......
not noticing that...... it's pouring rain
til i'm drenched

all I need is a drive
to clear my head
all I need is the road
to shake this dread

and I'll come back
and I'll be al-right

all I need is a drive......................................

I need some kind of new beginning
something to wrap my soul around
and I need love
to lift me u...p
til I cannot
see the ground

and I am holding
my heart
out in my hands
trying to decide what to do with her next
and I'm beginning
to understand
my heart is tired
she needs peace
my heart....
needs rest

all I need is a drive
to clear my head
all I need is the road
to shake this dread

and I'll come back
and I'll be alright

all I need is a drive.....................................
all I need is a drive..................................................................................
.......................................................................................
just driving, leave it alone

song by Mandy Shaw

halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: halo_hvn
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 10:35pm

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Halo))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: halo_hvn
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 1:37am
((((((((((((((((((((Lesli))))))))))))))))))))
I don't know what to do or say right now. I love that song, and I am thinking of you and your heart.
I almost lost Sheila in an instant. It made me realize so many things. When they could not tell us information and we had to wait, I was sure she died, I thought I would die to so that I could be with her.
I do love you Lesli.
But, my heart will not let go of Sheila. I do not think I could go on without her. She is so much a part of me and me of her.
That time not knowing if she was alive or dead, my heart, my soul, my head were all spinning my Mom's voice not making sense to me, the blood draining from me, knowing and feeling in my heart that if she died I would die with her so that my spirit might find hers.
A feeling that I cannot describe because I have never felt it before. It felt like my whole being was draining out of me.
Know that I love you...but that Sheila is a part of my soul and I am a part of her soul.
Sheila and I are soulmates. That is a rare thing to find your true soul mate.
Your soulmate is still out there. You deserve to find her.
Yes, I can love you, but I could never leave or live without my soulmate, the love I have with Sheila is something that cannot be explained. I cannot let go.
I want you to be happy, I want you to find your soulmate. You have so much to give and so much love in your heart. You are easy to love. That is why you get hurt. People love you so easily even though they might belong to another.
If I had not already found my soulmate, I would have been down there to meet you by now.
I just cannot tear myself away from what I have here.
Sheila and I respect you and the fact that you have shown respect for our relationship.
You have called yourself a home wrecker,you are not. It would take two to wreck a home.
You never tried to talk me in to leaving Sheila.
You only as did I express your feelings for me. Feelings are not wrong Lesli, they just are... and I believe that. You know that you will always have a special place in my heart.
I know that I could never leave Sheila. I would not be complete without her.
There is no reason for you to leave the board. There has been no wrong committed and you have no reason to believe that people feel you are a bad person. This is not true at all.
You have a loving heart and soul, Lesli, just know that many people will love you because of you. One day it will be your soulmate.
Sheila does not hate you for loving me. She believe you and I can form a special friendship and she believes that she is my soulmate and that I am hers. she knows that I could not live without her.
She knows that you are very special to me.
She holds no ill thoughts towards you.
She also knows how I feel for her, and that I cannot live without her.
Do not run away Lesli. This is something that will work it's way out. There will be hurting and pain, but you have many people here who love you and are here for you.
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
In reply to: halo_hvn
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 1:12pm

(((((halo)))))


If that wind isn't strong enough to hold you up, you have many friends here that you can lean on.

right click and choose save as~xo


co-cl of Lesbian Life


my email bethh137@yahoo.com


my blog http://silouhette.blogspot.com/


 

Avatar for lafaye_ak
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2003
In reply to: halo_hvn
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 1:25pm

Laurie, Lesli,

(((((((((Lesli)))))))))

My heart goes out to you hon, it truly does. Even though I know that this was a sign for Laurie, something to jolt her heart and bring a realism, which was: Sheila is her soulmate. For Laurie, Sheila is THE one. And the thought of losing her is not something that is even comprehensible, I do believe as Laurie said: the heart CAN love another. The heart can love many people. It's what you do with it that makes all the difference for whomever is involved. Loving someone does NOT make you a bad person or a home wrecker. Love just is, it just happens. It's one of those things that we cannot control no matter how hard we may try.

I care about you both and I hope this works out to the best that it can. This will not be easy for anyone. I feel for you Lesli; you're in so much pain.

I wish I knew more to say; but I am here for you if you ever need a friend.

L.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
In reply to: halo_hvn
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 8:53pm

Thank you Sadie, I think silence is still required on this...I'm very much into Mandy Shaw and I just love that song among others. I'm very much in tune with what needs to happen here, and at times the only answer seems to be, leave it alone.....So tonight being Wed, I will head out to the bar, hook up with some friends, and sing my heart out. Thanks for the support. Of course, I will pray for Sheila for sure, before I head out the door. I know Laurie is beside herself. I hate seeing her go through this, and I still love her.

Hugs
halo

hugs

halo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
In reply to: halo_hvn
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 8:56pm

Thank you Lafaye for the words of encouragement......I know what needs to be done. I opened my heart too wide and it's going to take time. Passion is not something I do, it's what I am.

hugs
halo

hugs

halo

Avatar for lafaye_ak
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2003
In reply to: halo_hvn
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 10:23pm

"Passion is not something I do, it's what I am."

Nothing more to say after that Lesli. Go sing your heart out darlin! Sing like you've never sang before and let it heal you. I dance. My heart most definitely feels you right now.

Hugs and love Darlin...

Shonda