Crossing an Invisible Line

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2005
Crossing an Invisible Line
15
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 9:28pm
I come from a very religious home. I am very close with my mother who i often see on a daily basis, but whom i do not share all my inner most secrets with...this being one of them~since my early teens i have been drawn to woman. Although I have never been with another woman and have only shared this secret desire with my soulmate/husband~it's my only fantasy! He encourages me to pursue this fantasy and seek out someone. However, i feel very conflicted. Whenever i think about taking a step, for instance posting this message, i feel that i am doing something very wrong and i think that once the door is open then there is no going back (that scares me alot). Yet, i often long to chat with someone who has/has had similar feelings/emotions. I guess i just have alot of questions and no one to ask. Anyone up for a chat or two????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 12:17am

Welcome to LL Missplants, I know you will like it here. We have scheduled chats on sunday nights, but I think the chatroom here is always open. Beth, Laurie, correct me if i'm wrong.


I want to tell you that I dated men all my life, I have even been married. Once you make love to a woman you may never want to be with a man again. That was my experience. Be careful....it's not something to fool around with. If you love your husband, don't go find a lover. Not good.


I'm glad you are here.


Hugs,


Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 1:34am

Welcome Missplants...
First off Hon,you state that your husband is your soul-mate.. so I am thinking from your post, you are looking to find someone to post with or chat with that has similar thoughts.. desires ..feelings ..as you.. Well it's not impossible that you will find that person or persons here.. I am not sure what you'll get in ways of posts back to yours except definately welcomes, and hopes, that


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2005
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 5:36pm
Thanks for your reply. I am married and it's my husband who has encouraged me to pursue this issue in fact. I know, i know you may be thinking~"of course he is for his own desires/fantasies" but i am certain that is not his motive. Now for me, i agree whole heartedly with you, before taking any step i need an understanding of the outcome for all involved and that is why i am here~i thought by talking to others i might find answers for myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 7:05pm

Hi missplants and welcome to the Lesbian Life board. I think you've gotten some pretty good advice so far, and you are definitely welcome to join in our regular scheduled chats (Sundays at 9pm EST) and yes, the chatroom is open at all times.


Here are a couple of other boards that may provide

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 9:31pm

"before taking any step i need an understanding of the outcome for all involved and that is why i am here"


MissPlants,


It's hard to say what the outcome would be. Each situation is very different. I can tell you about mine, but that doesn't mean yours will be anything like mine.


Here are some questions, you can answer if you feel comfortable. If you don't understand why I am asking certain things, I will explain later, lol.


Do you have kids?


How do you feel about gay rights? Gay marriage?


What does your family/friends think about homosexuality?


Can you support yourself financially?


Some ladies on the board might laugh at these questions, but I see a common pattern here and just wanted to give you some food for thought.....


Hugs,


Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Thu, 02-24-2005 - 11:17pm

Missplants..... I'm so happy you posted that because I have been trying to work up the nerve to type it myself. I like you are "happily married." My husband is my everything.....I am very passionate about him.....we are soul mates.... I dont want to be without him. Ever. But like you I am mostly only attracted to females. In fact I have explored this avenue in my younger years....it was incredibly pleasurable....what i did share in. It has effected my marriage though.......like she said "you might never want to have sex with a man again" hmmmmmmmm well i think she "nailed" that one! I pretty much feel that way...and now i hate it. I mean come on when you lose desire to want your husband sexually......whoa it screws things up.....emotionaly you will be differnt and so will he! Well at least this was my experience and no one wants to hurt the person they love.
My situation has become worse. Before i was married, I kissed on of my closest friends. We....didnt know we felt that way about each other...but we did....we do still. We quit talking and hanging out for years....cause i moved and cause it was easier.....but recently she has needed me......i mean as i friend....and i had to rescue her. she needed me and thats what friends are for. but we have a problem.....we have this hudge crush on each other.....ohhhhhhh its too big for us to handle. we just cant not flirt. When our glazes catch each other.....its over.....we are both back to two years ago in a heated passion. And we just get pulled together(wow i need to take a deep breath...lol)......we have kisses lately and my husband saw it......its sooooooooo complicated. He knows my sexual situation and amazingly like your husband accepts it. although he doesnt want me to really kiss her.......he knows how sexual tense i am....and he thinks that perhaps if we just do it....like really go for it once i might get over it....of coarse i know better. cause its the exact oppisite. I just want her more. so i know think might not be relivent to you but its complicated now for you but honestly i dont know what to say. treasure the love your husband gives you. I know i bet ur thinking you do.....and that that has nothing to do with the way you crave the body of a woman....but there is no easy answer

just wanted to thank you for saying what im scared to say and perhaps add my two cents

wow that felt good

lol

sav

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 1:30am
Hi missplants. Welcome to the board.
Yes our chat room is always open if people would like to chat anytime.
I think you will find many women here who have been in your shoes at one time or another. Many of them fell in love with the women they found.
There are women who are totally out aand other's like you who think about it. you will fit in just fine here and feel free to ask all the questions you need to ask.
I hope we will see you here more often. Sadie gave you some other good board choices to check out too. I think they would also be helpful.
And don't worry we can handle your questions.
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 8:44am

Advice is hard to give, there are always so many unmentioned factors that can

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 02-25-2005 - 9:51pm

Thanks for sharing sav, keep coming back!


Sandra

Sandr

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sat, 02-26-2005 - 1:14am
Hi Sav and Welcome.. Thanks for shareing your feelings and lessons on that subject for Missplants..

((((Hugs))))


 C  >^. A .

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