My week........

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
My week........
32
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 11:43am
I will start by saying hi and I have missed all of you more than you will ever imagine and more than I probably should have. Ok, Friday morning I took Jeremy to school then went to the clinic. This is a county hospital clinic so I expected it to take between 4 and 10 hours to get done and home. It really only took me saying that I couldnt see out of my right eye and they were seeing me within an hour. I went in, told my symptoms and they (3 med students) checked me at seperate times and had me do some stupid human tricks and had their guess. then I saw a real dr and was told I was gonna have a CT Scan. This was about 5 hours after I had been there. I waited in the clinic...... then Brandi had to go get Jer from school and take him to her mom's. she came back and we waited several more hours and they took out my port (like and IV but with an attachment that they can give meds and take blood from). 5 mins after they told me I was being admitted since they couldnt get me a ct scan till early AM... I went to my room after 15 hours of waiting in this teeny tiny room with Brandi and I had a 100 y/o roomate and they told me that Brandi had to leave. I cried all night. I havent been away from her at night in over 5 years. Then they wake me up taking blood and putting the port back in and I had a migrane and threw up in the waiting room for the ct scan at 4:30 AM. The ct scan came back negative and they sent me for a MRI and more blood tests. Later that day I was told I do have MS and I was to be put on a high dose of steroids for 5 days and i had to stay till friday. They sent me for another MRI for my spine and neck (the first was the head). The neuroligist had a hard time believing I was walking. He said i had so much Placqes (sp) on my brain that I shouldnt be able to walk. Then I had to have a spinal tap to see if there was infection in my spinal fluid and to see how it will progress and how bad it really is and all that but I wont have those results for a few weeks.
** Then to top off the whole week, Wednesday I called Brandi to make sure she was ok getting the kids up and off to school and give her my love and all and she was kinda edgy. I didnt understand but she wanted to get off the phone. I did thinking she was stressed with the kids (she hasnt even had them both by herself before) so I didnt think much about it. about 20 mins after Jer would have been at school and she was to be at work she walked in my room. I was suprised and happy to see her. I asked "what are you doing here....." She told me that my dad hung himself the day before and died. I had just talked to him the day before and told him what was going on and we joked about him being my roomate instead of that woman and him getting his hernia fixed and getting all his ailments fixed.... we had a good conversation but he did get off the phone weired. So I got out of the hospital thursday and had my kids thurs night and friday night and went to my dads house (where I grew up in East TX) we looked throug his "life" and stayed the night and the funeral was yesterday. I hate that when someone dies all everyone thinks about is what they want out of it. I have had the hardest week of my life and all people can say is can I have...... or this was mine.... vultures! I got back from the funeral and there were 20 or so people on the porch, 10 or so in the living room and his girlfriend that didnt even know till saturday was in his room. alot of them were going through his personal things and it really pissed me off! I made most leave but some things my brother wanted are missing. we then smoked to my dad- I dont drink but I have occasionally smoked a J with my daddy so in memory me, brandi, my aunt, uncle and a few of his close friends I knew passed one around for him. BTW, the doc told me that was one treatment of some symptoms but they cant offically prescribe but he wanted me to know. But I started my prescribed treatment thursday (Avonex- an injection in the hip) and it made me feel like poo-poo thursday and friday and most saturday. I could barely move I hurt so bad. I give myself the shot every thursday for the rest of my life.......
well, this has turned into a book so I will let yall go. If you have any questions, I will answer them. I want people to ask in case I forget to ask something myself. so please ask me- even about my dad. so fire away...i want to talk about it and I feel like I am talking too much here at home... I missed you girls so bad, mandi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 12:50pm

Oh Mandi . . . my love and prayers and sympathies to you my friend.

Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 1:13pm
My dad has been on and off drugs and in and out of prison my whole life. 9 years ago he got out and moved in with us (his parents adopted my bro and I). I ran away (having probs with g-ma)and came here. He got a good job and was doing well for a long time and here recently he thought he had lung cancer (his dad died in August from that) and I know he was hurting emotionally and phisically for a long time. Some of his friends told me he actually knew he was sick others werent sure but I know he sisnt want to die like his dad. I knew he was depressed. in fact, I was joking with him the day before I went to the hospital that I was gonna dadnapp him and take him to the clinic too since he didnt have insurance or money either. but.....I didnt. His friend Joy was telling me that he was threatening all week and even had a nuse (sp) hanging above his bed...which was still there when I got there. she knew he was serious but my dad had a way of getting people to believe he was joking so she left. so, yes I knew he was depressed but i had no idea he would have done that. he left a note for us. what pisses me off most the rest of my family. my aunt donna is my ali. the rest didnt care a bit about me or what I wanted for him and his belongings but I made sure I they knew I am his daughter and what I say about his things is how it is gonna be. they have treated me like a child and I am not putting up with it anymore. sorry, I got off an all something else but that is on my mind. anyway, thanks for responding. I am alone for the first time since I heard and I am not handling it at all well. at least I dont feel like I have some horrible flu anymore. Thanks again, Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2001
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 1:42pm

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}



~Ginny~ <-- Click to send me email

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 2:18pm

(((((((((((( Mandi )))))))))))))


Robin

 **Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**   

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 5:43pm
Hi Mandi,
What a hard time you are having. I cannot imagine. I did have a bad feeling about your symptoms but did not want to worry you. I feel really bad about this.
I am so sorry about your Dad. I know what you mean about the family vultures. I have some of those too. Makes me sick.
Do you have any idea what your Dad might have been going through. You said he hung up kinda wierd, do you think he was sort of saying his goodbyes?
How are you doing overall. I want to know everything mandi.
Bad days, good days, how advanced, how do you get this, can you live a normal life span with good days and bad days? Will the shots keep the bad days few and far between?
How are your and brandi's families acting towards you now? I hope they are being good and supportive to you.
I wish that I could reach out there and give you a big hug and tell you everything will be ok. I just don't know about that. You tell me. What all have they told you about living with MS?
I will keep praying for you. I have had you on my mind through all this time.
Is the medication helping you get your site back?
I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this mandi.
Love you,
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 6:12pm
First question... I dunno if my dad was saying bye at that time. at the time I thought maybe someone walked in and suprised him or something. Joy, his friend said he was probably getting off the phone so I wouldnt hear him cry. He was talking then all of a sudden he said he had to go. I cant remember if he said he loves me but I know he did love me..... 2nd...how am I doing overall... I guess I am good. I still am tingling. the meds wont stop my symptoms but I was on steroids the 5 days and that at least stopped most of the vision problem. it is still a little blurry but there isnt the "black line" in the center of vision anymore. They said when it gets to your vision that means it is covering more of your brain and it could be very bad...whatever that means. my legs are pretty numb, I feel them but they feel funny and my reflexes are hypersensitive. they played with my knee reflexes all week. I think now they thought it was fun. I felt like I was in a game show and the med students were playing guess that symptom... emotionally, I feel like someone ran over me then backed up and kept doing it over and over...
baby crying, i'll continue later, mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 7:10pm

Mandi, after reading through this thread it sounds to me like you may

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 7:17pm
((((((((Mandi)))))))) I was crying reading your post.. I am so very.. very.. sorry you have

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 7:43pm

My condolences to you at this time. It is unthinkable the amount of pain a person can be in (physically/mentally) that will make them decide that they need to leave this world. As horrible is the weight of it all left on those behind. Im sure you are feeling so many things right now, and I wish for you peace of mind and heart if at least its only temporary.

Remember the good times you shared and how you felt about each other and take that with you.

Hugs,

Alisha

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: mjewell52
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 11:27pm

Mandi,


I cannot even find the right words to say how deeply sorry I am about your father and your diagnosis. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry my friend.


Hugs and love,


Sandra

Sandr

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