My week........

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
My week........
32
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 11:43am
I will start by saying hi and I have missed all of you more than you will ever imagine and more than I probably should have. Ok, Friday morning I took Jeremy to school then went to the clinic. This is a county hospital clinic so I expected it to take between 4 and 10 hours to get done and home. It really only took me saying that I couldnt see out of my right eye and they were seeing me within an hour. I went in, told my symptoms and they (3 med students) checked me at seperate times and had me do some stupid human tricks and had their guess. then I saw a real dr and was told I was gonna have a CT Scan. This was about 5 hours after I had been there. I waited in the clinic...... then Brandi had to go get Jer from school and take him to her mom's. she came back and we waited several more hours and they took out my port (like and IV but with an attachment that they can give meds and take blood from). 5 mins after they told me I was being admitted since they couldnt get me a ct scan till early AM... I went to my room after 15 hours of waiting in this teeny tiny room with Brandi and I had a 100 y/o roomate and they told me that Brandi had to leave. I cried all night. I havent been away from her at night in over 5 years. Then they wake me up taking blood and putting the port back in and I had a migrane and threw up in the waiting room for the ct scan at 4:30 AM. The ct scan came back negative and they sent me for a MRI and more blood tests. Later that day I was told I do have MS and I was to be put on a high dose of steroids for 5 days and i had to stay till friday. They sent me for another MRI for my spine and neck (the first was the head). The neuroligist had a hard time believing I was walking. He said i had so much Placqes (sp) on my brain that I shouldnt be able to walk. Then I had to have a spinal tap to see if there was infection in my spinal fluid and to see how it will progress and how bad it really is and all that but I wont have those results for a few weeks.
** Then to top off the whole week, Wednesday I called Brandi to make sure she was ok getting the kids up and off to school and give her my love and all and she was kinda edgy. I didnt understand but she wanted to get off the phone. I did thinking she was stressed with the kids (she hasnt even had them both by herself before) so I didnt think much about it. about 20 mins after Jer would have been at school and she was to be at work she walked in my room. I was suprised and happy to see her. I asked "what are you doing here....." She told me that my dad hung himself the day before and died. I had just talked to him the day before and told him what was going on and we joked about him being my roomate instead of that woman and him getting his hernia fixed and getting all his ailments fixed.... we had a good conversation but he did get off the phone weired. So I got out of the hospital thursday and had my kids thurs night and friday night and went to my dads house (where I grew up in East TX) we looked throug his "life" and stayed the night and the funeral was yesterday. I hate that when someone dies all everyone thinks about is what they want out of it. I have had the hardest week of my life and all people can say is can I have...... or this was mine.... vultures! I got back from the funeral and there were 20 or so people on the porch, 10 or so in the living room and his girlfriend that didnt even know till saturday was in his room. alot of them were going through his personal things and it really pissed me off! I made most leave but some things my brother wanted are missing. we then smoked to my dad- I dont drink but I have occasionally smoked a J with my daddy so in memory me, brandi, my aunt, uncle and a few of his close friends I knew passed one around for him. BTW, the doc told me that was one treatment of some symptoms but they cant offically prescribe but he wanted me to know. But I started my prescribed treatment thursday (Avonex- an injection in the hip) and it made me feel like poo-poo thursday and friday and most saturday. I could barely move I hurt so bad. I give myself the shot every thursday for the rest of my life.......
well, this has turned into a book so I will let yall go. If you have any questions, I will answer them. I want people to ask in case I forget to ask something myself. so please ask me- even about my dad. so fire away...i want to talk about it and I feel like I am talking too much here at home... I missed you girls so bad, mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 8:18am

Ever the optimist, I was hoping that the medical condition would be something simple, like some unusual vitamin deficiency. Truly, that's what I thought I'd find when I opened your post. I'm so surprised, so saddened by your news that I just don't know what to say! I could cry on you plenty though... life is so unfair


All my love and sympathy~

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 9:25am

HI Mandi


First off Many many *HUGS for all you have been thru.

 *Hugs ~  Caly

aka  

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 9:53am
You just know exactly what to say, dont you? I am sorry for your loss also. I never thought this would happen to me...ya know. I knew he was upset but I had no idea the extent of it. I am ok now though. This may sound strange but I was drifting to sleep last night when I felt a heavy feeling across my arm and hand then I was thinking thoughts that my dad would have said. They were coming out of me as if he were talking to me and I was thinking my responses. I felt like I was having a conversation with him but I wasn't talking out loud. I really think he was with me last night. Then the heavy feeling went away and a min later Jeremy was talking in his sleep. The only thing I could understand was "Grandpa, I'll be ok." He continued to talk in his sleep for about 10 mins or so then just stopped. After it all stopped I had a feeling of fullness in my heart that I cant explain but I know my dad was telling me it was gonna be ok now. Dont think I am crazy but I really believe it.
And as far as the MS goes, I am angry about it but it is something I will have to figure out. The part about it that scares me most is the not knowing what I will feel like tomorrow. Will I be able to walk or see or even pick up my baby? Can I drive my son the mile to school? Am I gonna forget something important? Who knows? maybe, maybe not. And my spelling...I was a very good speller in school and now I have to really think to get it right, sometimes using more simple words to make it easier. They didnt tell me anything at the hsptl and I am mad about that too! They had councelors talk to me every day but I didnt know how bad I was till I came home. Why didnt they tell me? Well, I know now and I just have to educate myself as best I can. Thank goodness I have internet! But still, the only thing they told me is that they were suprised that I could still walk. My brain is covered with I guess what they call lesions...whatever that is, I am still not sure about that. But I am walking and I am still doing what I normally do, just a little slower and wobbly. So I will be fine. thank you very much!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:05am
I was hoping it was something simple too but I knew what it was. I just knew. When I started the vision problem that morning I knew it was serious but getting Brandi and her family and everyone else I talked to to believe me and think it was serious was hard. Then I came here and told yall and it was yall that really made me decide to Make Brandi take me to the dr. She really didnt want to till I was on her insurance but if I had waited I would be even worse and the damage done is not reversable. that sucks that I may never feel my feet or legs normal again. and my eye sight may never come back normal either. I have an eye appt April 8th...the day we are suppose to leave for FL. We are still going I am pretty sure anyway...we better, I need a nice vacation. LYLAS,Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:16am
Thanks for the e-mail invite, I may use it so dont be suprised if I do. I really appreciate it. Not sure what I need yet, just to express my feelings I guess. I know from past experience that if I keep things inside I will not be ok, so I am blowing up a few boards to ease my mind. That is what they are there for, right? So yall be patient with me and let me ramble. you dont have to reply if you dont want to, just let me talk. thanks again, you've been a good friend. lylas, mandijewell
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:55am

(((((((((((Mandi)))))))))))))) I'm so sorry for all that you have been through. You are amazingly strong to have held up so well through it all. You always have such a positive outlook no matter what, and I'm sure that will help get you through your treatments. Take good care of yourself. It's wonderful to have you back.


Hugs,


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 11:51am
Thanks. I just have a new outlook on life I guess. Things are hard but I know I have to go on and be the best parent I can be to my kids and I have to try harder now cause I am not how I used to be. Things are not going to be easy but I cant just let myself go. I just got a call with an appt with my neurologist for tomorrow AM. I have my list of questions and I am prepared, now I just have to find a ride since Brandi is at meetings in Dallas all day :( she sounds important huh...and to think she is only a supervisor at Home Depot! So I get to find out my Spinal Tap results.... I am kinda nervous. Do I want to know how bad I am? Am I really ready for this? OOH, my dad's g/f just got online. I'll yak w/yall later, Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 12:57pm

(((((((((((Mandi)))))))))))))


I'm so sorry for all you are going through. Please email me anytime if you would like.


Big hugs to you and the family.


~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 1:55pm
Thank you and i accept all the hugs i can get!
mandi (sigh)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2005
In reply to: mjewell52
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:42pm

{{{Mandi}}}}


You have my hugs, condolences, and love.

Carol,  In love with the most beautiful woman in the world.