Feeling a bit of resentment

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Registered: 09-01-2004
Feeling a bit of resentment
18
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 1:22pm

After reading Mandi's post, I feel like I don't have any reason to complain about anything... but

Scarlett
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 2:22pm

(((((( Scarlett ))))))


I'm in no place ( mentally ) to give you advice, just know that I am here for you and whatever you decide. I might not have the skills right now to give relationship advice, but I give great hug !


Hugs and love,

Robin

 **Please remember to sign your organ donor card...it can save someone's life**   

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 6:48pm
Scarlett,
Your problems are just as important.
I hate to tell you what to do about this. You are the one who has to live with it.
Imho, I think she is letting you know that she is still not giving you 100% and might be going back to her stbx. Maybe you should just sort of try to get yourself ready for the worst and hope for the best.
Sounds like she is being honest and letting you know that she still is having doubts about leaving them.
Keep us posted.
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 7:36pm

Hugs because Im sure you can use them right now, but girl..I cant bite my tongue.
Here goes.

Nothing like shooting from the hip: But girl, yes to all those questions you asked.

1: Learn that you deserve nothing but happiness and a relationship with a person who WANTS one with you. You are worthy of a relationship thats healthy and you are worthy of being loved.

2: Learn that being #2 gets you NOWHERE. Know that you deserve to be someone's #1 in their heart or at least their mind. Do you not feel the chill from standing in the "STBX's" shadow? Girl, this Ashley chick seems to be using you as a distraction in the hopes that she'll go back to the way things were. Know your Self worth..make HER know your self worth.

People can ONLY do to you what you allow them to do. If you feel like the only thing youre good for is being her doormat and doing for her, and supporting her, and taking care of HER needs while being in a supposed 'open' relationship (where she has the gall to get jealous, but thats another story for another time) and all the while saying: 'I want a relationship with you, here I am..take me' - you'll never have her.Why? Because its too easy. She doesnt want it. Its clear (from what you tell us anyway) that she doesnt want her STBX to be an ex.

I dont think youre being naive per se, I think you are being blind by choice. You CHOOSE to not see her for what she is.

Get pissed that she's not seeing you for nothing short of spectacular and then find a girl who is worthy of your time, of your affection of all of it.

Good luck to you, you need it.

Alisha
*Who hates when people sell themselves short

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 7:37pm
Scarlet, as Laurie said, only you can really decide what to do. I can tell you that I was in a very similar situation about 10 years ago. Reading your post really took me back! It was my first real relationship with another woman, she had her hangups on her own on-again-off-again gf and would not commit to me, no matter how hard I tried to convince her that we could have a very happy life together. Like your situation, she was also jealous of all of my friendships (not just with other girls but guys as well), yet she

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 7:45pm
(((((Hugs Scarlett))))) sounds like what Laurie said makes sense..
It all depends on how long you want to settle for the lesser of Ashley.. It's sad, but seems to be as it will be..Your problems are important also...
(((((Hugs Hon)))))

((((Hugs))))


 C  >^. A .

Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 8:02pm
Hi
Well I personally( my 2 cents) agree with everyone that replied.....i really do...being alone is so crappy at times,others not so bad...yet being in a "bad??" relationship is worse???I for one love being spoiled,yet I also pay my share for dinners and flowers and things....I think someone having to pay for mostly everything all the time is pretty bad....was she just out of this relationship or has it been awhile???I am sorry to hear what you are going through and hope you find the answer you are seeking....hugs to you,Jo
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:44pm

Alisha,


Thank you so much for your post to me... I really appreciate your honest and being straight with me. (Well, not straight in the straight way, LOL.)

Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:49pm
Thank you Sadie for sharing your own personal experience with me; I really appreciate it.

Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:50pm
Thank you Cat, I appreciate your thoughts.

Scarlett
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Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:56pm

"was she just out of this relationship or has it been awhile???"


Ashley and I had been friends for two years and had an encounter and fell in love with eachother over the summer.

Scarlett
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