Feeling a bit of resentment
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Feeling a bit of resentment
| Mon, 02-28-2005 - 1:22pm |
After reading Mandi's post, I feel like I don't have any reason to complain about anything... but
| Mon, 02-28-2005 - 1:22pm |
After reading Mandi's post, I feel like I don't have any reason to complain about anything... but
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Hi Scarlett,
Like Wobin I can't give advice, I'm so in an emotional and mental quandry it would just not be good. But I can offer support. Anytime you need it.
Hugs to you,
L.
Can I just ditto everything Alishagirl said? She's so right.
Among other reasons, Kelly pushed Ashley out of the house to force her to make a decision, in my mind. It could also come to the point where YOU have to do this with her as well. She's not committing to you.. and having an open relationship sort of gives her license to float without that committment. Her jealousy looks like a bit of 'dog-in-the-manger' crap, where she may not want you, but dammit, others can't have you either. NOT FAIR.
But she'll keep
Hi Scarlett
I have to echo all the wonderful advice you have gotten and just want to pass on some more BIG HUGS
((((((((((((Scarlett)))))))))))))
aka
((((((((((Scarlett)))))))))
You are in such a tough place. I think like the others said you have to decide how much you're willing to take and how long you want to wait. If Ashley really did want to commit 100% to you and she showed you that by loving you and giving you the respect you deserve but just needed some time to make the break, that would be one thing. I really hope that if things don't turn around with her that you'll find the happiness that you so deserve.
Hugs!
Ashely does give me love and respect; I know that she loves me so very, very much.
Scarlett
my blog
Hi,
I'm currently going through something myself, but I thought that I would share with you what I am learning that might give you some insight to your situation as it did for me.
1. You aren't finished until you are finished. When you've had enough and can take no more, you won't. I have had feelings of wishing that I could say "It's over and I can't take anymore" many times. The reason you can't say it is because you aren't finished learning from the situation. When you are, the words will come. Not a second before. It was described as a clock. You can't complete the hour one second before the time for the hour's completion has come. The hour will pass when the time has come for it to pass. Same for relationships.
2. Resentment is insanity. It causes you to become stuck in something that you are powerless over. You spend time trying to change something that is not changable. Be it the past, someone's actions, whatever. You spend time thinking hours on end how you can make her just see... what are the words that you can put together to make her understand what you want to convey... You can only control you and your actions and the energy you spend on something. You can not control when or if she will let go of anything. You can only control how long you will or will not accept her behavior, if you will or will not be with her. You can't make her see or understand anything. Look to your own understanding of things and concentrate on that. You will definitely drive yourself mad trying to make someone understand you. I certainly have.
3. Being loved and being loved the way you need to be loved are two entirely different things. The sickest person in the world can love you, but only in their own way. Her inability or unwillingness to let go might be all that she can offer to you. I have no doubt that she loves you, but is the way that she is loving you meeting your needs? Know that a relationship is to sustain two people's needs.
4. Bad/Good. A person's inability to fulfill your needs doesn't make them a bad person or a wrong person.
5. Be you. Do the things that you do to show love. If the relationship fails, you can walk away knowing that you were true to self.
I have been reading a Codependency book that is really helping me. I'm not saying that you are codependent, or that you need counseling or anything like that, but in reading it, I am finding things that can help anyone going through anything. It really just makes you focus on yourself and what you can do to better your situations. It makes you take stock of you, your reactions, why you react the way you do, why you accept things that you do, and helps you find your way out of bad decision making patterns.
Anyway, sorry to be so long winded, but I thought I would just offer what I've found.
Myka,
Thank you so much for your post and all of your wonderful advice and insight.
Scarlett
my blog
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