"Gaydar" question

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2005
"Gaydar" question
12
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 10:20pm
Okay,

Carol,  In love with the most beautiful woman in the world.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 8:33am

If it was someone that I was going to be dealing with professionally, I would not ask at all, not hint or anything.


Personally? I'm not sure what you mean by that. Personally, like a friend? In that case I'm sure the conversation will eventually come up and there is certainly a lot more leeway where friends are concerned. Or personally like a kid's teacher, co-worker or something like that? I would not ask.


My two cents.


As far as meeting like-minded people... that was mine and Kim's urge a few months ago. We joined a church and it has fulfilled that purpose and fulfilled us in many other ways also. I've never really come up with any other ideas that work. Perhaps take up bowling or softball or something else that interests you and see if anything develops from there?


~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 8:39am

Hi Kacey


Not sure if I have any super suggestions for you.

 *Hugs ~  Caly

aka  

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 9:43am

Hi Kacey,


I've thought about posting about this before. I feel like I have pretty strong gaydar. I've never asked someone if she was gay and probably wouldn't come right out and ask (just not my style), but I would hint around about it. Most of the time if I suspect someone is gay and I am around that person a lot, it will eventually come out in some way and usually I'm right. No one ever suspects I'm gay. I'm a "secret agent" as Melissa E.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 10:37am
I have a similar question... There are 2 male teachers at my kids' school. One I am 100% sure is gay, the other, I think but don't know. I would love for them to know that I am on their side, even if I am in a straight family for now. I know it is taboo for teachers to come out to parents, but is there any way I can let them know that it is cool w/ me?
Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 11:21am

I live in the Portland, OR metropolitan area where we have more lesbians per capita than any other city; there are a lot of lesbians around!

Scarlett
my blog

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 3:38pm
I agree about the jewelry or pin or something like that...I have my new ring ;) If I really want to know if someone is I ask if they are married or if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. If they say no and I still want to know I tell them about my family. Most of the time I am right about people. However, Brandi works with an obvious lesbian, she just doesnt know it yet. She opens doors for her and buys her lunch and drives a Ford F-250 and wears the hat with the ponytail pulled through. Sorry but she is gay! And cute, man she is cute! No, I am not jealous either. They have a work relationship they are just in meetings all week in Dallas together so Brandi is riding with her cause her truck needs an inspection..... k TMI I know.
Mandi
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2005
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 5:42pm

Hey!

Don't assume anything. Even those who are gay sometimes don't want to reveal it. I wouldn't ask this person outright. Since you are on a professional basis, this person may feel it is not for you to know.

My boss knows about me. I finally just came out and told him. I did because he was having so many questions thrown at him by coworkers..."Why doesn't she date?"...."Does she like guys?"..."Is she dating a woman?" I asked my boss to not reveal my sexual orientation. I don't know if he has kept that a secret or not. In my opinion, I don't feel that it is anyone's business.

I would work with this person for a while and get to know the person. You'll find out much by just spending some time with the person. You'll also find out how much the person wishes to share about their personal life with you. Some people I work with don't want to share personal issues and some people do.

As for gaydar in general...I don't really put much into it. I've been wrong too many times. Like for example...I have this cute little innocent face. It is not uncommon for women to like to squeeze my cheeks or hug on me. None of the women who have squeezed my cheeks or hugged on me were gay.

You may be better with gaydar. And, some people are good with gaydar and reading people. I happen to not be one of those people. LOL

Good luck!

Hugs,

buggie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 6:53pm
I agree with the advice you've been given so far. I don't think you should come right out and ask, some people (even gays and lesbians) find that rude, especially if you barely know this person. And there is the chance that the woman could be a "straight butch", or the guy could be a "straight flamer".

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 6:58pm

LOL "the nod". I've used it and I feel the same way! I guess maybe it's a butch thing, because I got the same "what is that chic nodding at" expression in return.


I've actually looked into moving to Portland because of the high population of lesbians! I don't know though, I get cold too easily.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2005
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 8:17pm

I think I was too vague in my original post.

Carol,  In love with the most beautiful woman in the world.

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