don't know why I'm sharing.. need a vent
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don't know why I'm sharing.. need a vent
| Tue, 03-08-2005 - 4:36am |
Most of you know, my kids live with their Dad, very far away from me. But I speak to them by phone every Sunday. They tell me most EVERYTHING... like they've forgotten I'm a parent. I suppose part of it is cos I'm not there to react/ ground them or whatever's appropriate, part of it is that their Dad and I have a strained relationship.

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Oh (((((((Nony))))))), you rarely ever vent, so your turn is long overdue here!
I have no experience in raising a teenager, but I really feel that you did the right thing. Her father and step mom needed to know what was going on, for your DD's safety. This man is taking advantage of her, using her, and not to mention fooling around with a married man/woman is always a dangerous situation that never ends well. Because of you, her father will be able to take control of the situation and get this could-be predator (and poosibly a very angry wife) out of your DD's life! Please don't second guess yourself. I know that losing that little avenue of info with her can be hard to think about, but that consequence does not outweigh the harm caused by being a friend and not a parent. Eventually your DD will see this, and she will never forget that you love her. This coming from a former wild child that put her parents through the ringer and back, always thinking they were out to "get me".
Big (((((((hugs)))))))
updating my sig, please bear with me!
Nony my friend
Now that I am 1000 miles away from my son, I find myself in much the same situation.
aka
I live in the same apartment with my daughter and sometimes it feels as though she's slipping away.
You did the right thing.
Kim
Check out my
You are right, you are a Mom first. Can you e-mail her and let her know that you are still there for her, but you are also her Mom and you did what you thought you should do as a Mom not as a friend because you love her so much you do not want to see her get hurt.
That you are willing to talk to her more about this and you understand her feelings and would like her to understand your as a Mom.
I think it is great that she can come to you to talk about everything. But I do think you did the right thing. That guy is going to only hurt her. He cannot leave his wife for a teenager and he can never see her like a readl date. He could be thrown in jail.
Maybe you could have hubby get that restraining order on him without the jail thing.
You do still have a duty to those kids, you are their Mom.
You can always vent here.
I do not have children so I am not sure I am seeing it the way a Mom should, I just think out of respect for the way she feels for him, I would not mess him up with jail and or tell his wife, just let him know he needs to back off or else. Otherwise she might freak out if she feels she caused him to be in such a mess.
These days 15 and 20 year olds do the same things sexually if they really want to. I think the fact that he is married and an adult is where I would be concerened because she is heading for a world of hurt.
Ok, just my 2 cents worth.
Take care and I hope she will keep the lines of communication open.
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
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Hi Nony,
((((((((Nony)))))))))) I think you've gotten great advice so far, so I won't repeat what's been said. One thing that would be a huge concern for me is her age and how much she could have gotten in over her head. It's wonderful that you're there for her as someone to talk to and as a parent who will set some boundaries. She's probably scared and needs your comfort right now.
Sandra
Sandr
Nony,
You absolutely did the right thing.
Scarlett
my blog
She is still a kid and she needs limits and parents, even if it hurts to lose the boyfriend. I hope you can talk w/ her and explain the mom's point of view...
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