Retrospect and Introspect...
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| Sat, 03-12-2005 - 4:25am |
I've noticed such pain here on the boards over the last month or so. Not very much happiness at all. So many people here with broken hearts and homes. And it became so huge I simply could not read another sad post, including my own. I went back almost a year and found some of my old posts, and I thought, my god, have I never been happy?
It was disconcerting to go back and relive that pain. Relive others pain, and it became too big for me. I.E, my MIA status. If I could wave a wand and wish one thing in all the world for everyone: it would be happiness, whatever that means for each individual person. Be it a state of mind and the will to make it so, or a state of being.
Happiness, which could be deemed relative I guess, seems to be in dire short supply. And I would give an abundance of it if I could.
Everyone here deserves to experience all the love the heart can hold. Healthy, sound, passionate love. For all the mothers that have children that are suffering because of egotistical megolomaniacal men that only feel worthy when they can dominate, my prayers are with you because I cry in the same boat.
For all the women that have hearts as big as all of the outdoors, I truly hope one day you find a love you can hold onto, a love you can cherish, for as long as that love is meant to be yours. I hope, it's forever.
For those who are searching for something but know not what, I hope you find the gleaning you need to step forward and claim what is there for you.
The thoughts are there, but I wish I had the energy and the power to throw that kinetic energy out there for all to feel. Whatever your higher power be, grab hold of that strength and use it for your own.
There are so many classifications, if you will, of women here that need different things on varying degrees. We seem so complicated when you bring them all here, to this one tiny place. It's overwhelming when you read about the needs, though they be simple. The heart wants to burst over the pain here. The tremendous pain...I cry now just thinking about it.
Ladies, I'm not really sure where I want or should be going with this. The words were at my fingertips, and here they are, as always, for you to see.
My mind is in a place that even I don't dare tread these days. And I haven't the strength to decipher what that means yet, though I'm sure that personal gleaning will also come.
To borrow a phrase from our beloved Cat "I just felt like sharing" I guess.
Prayers and as many positive thoughts as I can muster...
Love,
L.

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Yes, I agree that things have been pretty heavy here lately.
I feel good that people have a place to come for comfort when they need it.
I wish life could always be filled with happiness, but maybe if we look for happiness in life and thumb are noses at the sadness we would fair better.
I try to find refuge in other things in life when parts of my life are sad.
It is good to be able to balance the scales a bit.
Just because one thing is bad, or sad, does not mean that we cannot see, experience, or find a happy thing in life.
I think it is ok to go do something fun when your down. It sometimes helps you take a different look at the thing that is getting you down.
Everyone knows what makes them happy. It is good to do the things that make you happy even if you don't feel like it and especially when other things are going wrong.
There is no guilt or shame in that.
But life goes on and sometimes it is not fair. Maybe there is something in the planets or something who knows, but we do have each other for support and caring. Sometimes even finding helpful information.
I think the board works each way.
Now seems to be a time to really come together and be supportive of each other. It will pass, it always does, and then we will be posting are happy post again. In time wounds and hearts will heal too. I think we have a great group of people and maybe we will find strength in the support we can give to each other here.
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
What a wonderful woman you are. It's amazing the amount of love and concern that is on this board. Most of us have never even met. I come here with my problems, but seldom do I celebrate the good things in my life. I must look like a miserable soul...
I thought about what you said, and I am going to try and start a trend in this post, I am going to say what is GOOD in my life and invite the rest of you to do the same. Together we can make eachother feel good with our positive thoughts.....
OK, I came here about a
Sandr
L,
That was beautifully said! You found the right words to say, and we all need to look at happy things as well. For some of us, this is the only safe haven to post the sad things that are happening on our lives, and find the support to make it through the day. I really believe in what Laurie posted to you about this board. When things are stirred up a bit, there will always be new growth. Now that winters passing is at an end, I think the cabin fever in everyone is dying to go away with spring time. New air, new health, new beginnings....it's all good, and right around the corner!
Girl please go read Tings thread about the ballet. It's a fun thread really it is! Ting took Caly to the ballet, and we all had fun talking about it! I want you to read about my daughters coming out, and the positive things that have been happening. Mjewell has a new car, and has came out of her abyss and is living life to the fullest. There are some very positive events happening here as well. Peace out chickadee, things will gel here, stick around ok?
hugs to you Lafaye
love
halo
hugs
halo
Lafaye,
That was a lovely post; your sending such warm and wonderful energy and wishes to everyone.
Scarlett
my blog
All I can say is I am SO thankful for this board. You all have been there for me recently, when I was in so much pain and did not know who I could safely talk to about it... or who could understand. The immediate feedback we get on here is wonderful!!!
It's funny that you brought up the "looking at the bright side" aspect... Some Mondays I have a hard time thinking of a Moan because my life is pretty darn good. Maybe we should have a "Thankful Thursday"? What do you all think?
Thanks again to all of you who gave me advice in my situation. I had a long, long talk w/ one of my friends that is close to Jamie, and for now, I feel pretty good. I was able to spend the morning w/ Jamie today w/o "going there" in my head... When I felt it creeping in during our workout, I just told myself that I can't go there. Period.
Have a good day, ladies. The weather hear is BEAUTIFUL!!! Hope it is where you are too!
Love,
Brownie
(((((Shonda))))) I agree that so many of our lives on this board have become cumbersome, not really knowing how to fix things or when there will be happier days to come. Some of us do seem to be pulling out of our
It took a while today, but underneath all the troubles in my life right now I found these things to be happy about
I have my wonderful son, who is a troubled young boy right now, trying to figure out where he is in all this confusion. I love him, for the bright wonderful young being he is. He is...my YOU.
I have my dreams, which sustain me when times are way to hard to deal with.
I have my music and my piano which often transports me to a place that no human has ever been able to touch.
I have my health, which for now is sound.
I have this board: And don't get me wrong, I did not go MIA because of the somber mood here, I went MIA because the pain in my own life was just too big for a while.
This board has been my home away from home, and I've found good friends here who I can come to without judgement and artifice, who will reach out their arms and give me the hugs I so need sometimes.
I have my writing which is my passion and I can get it "out" when I can't any other way.
Even though Chris and I are ... well, I don't know what we are, I am still thankful that I knew her. She gave me much laughter through the years and for that I can look back on and smile sometimes.
For these things I am thankful.
I am happy to see this post going in this direction. I wasn't sure which way it would go. Another thing I am thankful. The diversity that is always here.
Love you all...
L.
Hey Shonda!
Thank you soo much for sharing your feelings.
aka
I LOVE the idea of Thankful Thursday! Maybe Beth and Laurie will do that?
Our weather is lovely too.....
Have a fabulous day Brownie!
Sandra
Sandr
Kim
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