Retrospect and Introspect...

Avatar for lafaye_ak
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2003
Retrospect and Introspect...
11
Sat, 03-12-2005 - 4:25am

I've noticed such pain here on the boards over the last month or so. Not very much happiness at all. So many people here with broken hearts and homes. And it became so huge I simply could not read another sad post, including my own. I went back almost a year and found some of my old posts, and I thought, my god, have I never been happy?

It was disconcerting to go back and relive that pain. Relive others pain, and it became too big for me. I.E, my MIA status. If I could wave a wand and wish one thing in all the world for everyone: it would be happiness, whatever that means for each individual person. Be it a state of mind and the will to make it so, or a state of being.

Happiness, which could be deemed relative I guess, seems to be in dire short supply. And I would give an abundance of it if I could.

Everyone here deserves to experience all the love the heart can hold. Healthy, sound, passionate love. For all the mothers that have children that are suffering because of egotistical megolomaniacal men that only feel worthy when they can dominate, my prayers are with you because I cry in the same boat.

For all the women that have hearts as big as all of the outdoors, I truly hope one day you find a love you can hold onto, a love you can cherish, for as long as that love is meant to be yours. I hope, it's forever.

For those who are searching for something but know not what, I hope you find the gleaning you need to step forward and claim what is there for you.

The thoughts are there, but I wish I had the energy and the power to throw that kinetic energy out there for all to feel. Whatever your higher power be, grab hold of that strength and use it for your own.

There are so many classifications, if you will, of women here that need different things on varying degrees. We seem so complicated when you bring them all here, to this one tiny place. It's overwhelming when you read about the needs, though they be simple. The heart wants to burst over the pain here. The tremendous pain...I cry now just thinking about it.

Ladies, I'm not really sure where I want or should be going with this. The words were at my fingertips, and here they are, as always, for you to see.

My mind is in a place that even I don't dare tread these days. And I haven't the strength to decipher what that means yet, though I'm sure that personal gleaning will also come.
To borrow a phrase from our beloved Cat "I just felt like sharing" I guess.

Prayers and as many positive thoughts as I can muster...

Love,
L.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2005
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 5:34pm

I am thankful for my aunt, who brings me back to reality when I am lost,

I am thankful for my mother and father, who have loved me from the start,

I am thankful for my health, even if it isn't always the best, it could be worse,

I am thankful for my truck, I love my blue truck,

I am thankful for my job, so many don't have one,

I am thankful for the friends I've made here, I was so lost before finding this place of refuge in hard times.

Thanks Shonda, for writing those beautiful words.

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