It Breaks my heart...
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It Breaks my heart...
| Mon, 03-21-2005 - 3:51am |
I have read posts that the board has changed and become more serious or depressing.
I have been referred to Kim's blog for complaints she keeps posting about the board.
It breaks my heart to think the board is going down hill.
I am challenging everyone here to post under this thread what they think needs to change.
It is easy to complain, anyone can complain, but in the military we have a rule do not complain unless you have at least 3 resolutions to back you up.
That is the tough part, making changes that appeale to the majority.
We had many changes when caly took over and people complained, then Beth and I took the board back to the old format and still, people are complaining.
Well, then it is time to fix things up around here.
This board belongs to everyone. I personally find it very weak for a person to complain and then not have a suggestion to fix something.
Lets stop whining, and put our heads together and come up with ideas or suggestions to make the majority interested in the board.
The only thing I would not like to take away from this board is for people to be able to feel comfortable to post whatever is on their mind without fearing that they will be judged.
What seems like a petty thing to one person might seem like a major thing to another.
You will never know what a person is truly going through unless you are living their life completely.
So, if you have a complaint, then speak up now and bring a positive suggestion to help the thing you are complaining about. Tell me why people are getting hurt feelings and staying away from the board.
Tell me why changes are not working for you. Tell me why the old format is not working now.
Tell me what you want. this is everyone's board. But, if you do not speak up then nothing will get accomplished. If it is me, tell me so, I would rather you be upfront with me than hold back.
Just please tell me what the deal is here.
we cannot accomplish a goal if we sit and do nothing to work toward it.
Our goal and mission is to keep this board interesting.
I will do whatever it takes to help this board. Will you?
I have been referred to Kim's blog for complaints she keeps posting about the board.
It breaks my heart to think the board is going down hill.
I am challenging everyone here to post under this thread what they think needs to change.
It is easy to complain, anyone can complain, but in the military we have a rule do not complain unless you have at least 3 resolutions to back you up.
That is the tough part, making changes that appeale to the majority.
We had many changes when caly took over and people complained, then Beth and I took the board back to the old format and still, people are complaining.
Well, then it is time to fix things up around here.
This board belongs to everyone. I personally find it very weak for a person to complain and then not have a suggestion to fix something.
Lets stop whining, and put our heads together and come up with ideas or suggestions to make the majority interested in the board.
The only thing I would not like to take away from this board is for people to be able to feel comfortable to post whatever is on their mind without fearing that they will be judged.
What seems like a petty thing to one person might seem like a major thing to another.
You will never know what a person is truly going through unless you are living their life completely.
So, if you have a complaint, then speak up now and bring a positive suggestion to help the thing you are complaining about. Tell me why people are getting hurt feelings and staying away from the board.
Tell me why changes are not working for you. Tell me why the old format is not working now.
Tell me what you want. this is everyone's board. But, if you do not speak up then nothing will get accomplished. If it is me, tell me so, I would rather you be upfront with me than hold back.
Just please tell me what the deal is here.
we cannot accomplish a goal if we sit and do nothing to work toward it.
Our goal and mission is to keep this board interesting.
I will do whatever it takes to help this board. Will you?
Hugs,
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html

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Kim
Check out my
I think whomever is reading it and carrying their
complaining to whomever through e-mails is well
their opinion but still to me not tasteful.
You hit the nail right on the head Cat. Very perceptive. Thanks for saying that.
Kim
Check out my blog
Gay and lesbian couples in this country are forming healthy
partnerships, parenting children and creating families and
will continue to do so.
Kim
Check out my
Kim
Check out my
Kim
Check out my blog
Gay and lesbian couples in this country are forming healthy
partnerships, parenting children and creating families and
will continue to do so.
Kim
Check out my
Well, I read Kim's blog alot as I find it to be interesting. I even took my verbal spanking in her blog when she used my name and cl title etc. concerning halo and I. It is taken out of context. We have never had an affair. We developed feelings before we knew it. I told sheila right away what had happened and we discussed what we needed to do and I told halo and she respects that and my relationship with Sheila. I never carried on a torrid affair with halo and she has never tried to get me to not be true to Sheila. We realized how we felt and she was going to leave the bored because of it.
I asked her not to do that unless she really needed to do that for her, but that I would feel so bad if this caused her to leave. We, sheila and halo and I have discussed the fact that feelings do happen and that it does not mean that they need to be entertained or acted on. Sheila and I are working on our relationship. We have been together for about 8 years and this is the first major crisis we have had. I take blame for it, but so does Sheila for not being attentive to me.
So, I re-read that and other things and the most recent blog. I guess it just hit me all at once for the first time is all. I know she has a right to write or say what ever she wants, but my whole point is that so do I and other's. Especially if someone is writing about us or something pertaining to us in a public forum. I guess I don't understand why people do not get it that others have the right to say what they want too especially when they are affected by what a person is saying. Yes, she can write it, but yes we have a right to write or speak our minds in reply to it.
I guess I am frustrated by the fact that people seem to think I should or other's should shut up and just put up with whatever Kim writes.
I feel that we have a right to post what we feel here as well. I am not saying I don't think she should not write what she wants, just that as long as she does it is also fair for people to write what they want in response.
I guess today I just had it hit me differently.
I have had e-mails in the past about "THE BLOG" and I always just let it go.
Today things hit me in frustration because the people who are complaining and walking away from the board, I wish they would stay and bring up the problems and with the problems some suggestions for resolving the problems.
This is not just about Kim's blog. I am speaking to other people who have some complaints or hurt feelings or feel like the board is depressing etc, to step up to the plate and help improve what they do not like or post other topics about what they want to talk about. And I thought the board was for venting or talking about things you need or want to say or for getting other peoples views on.
I mean no harm here. I simply feel freedom of speech is for everyone. When halo and I talked of our feelings on the board did people not say what they felt? Did we slam everyone for it? No.
My comments to Kim were on her blog comment section and not on the board.
My post was for anyone who is not happy with the board which certainly includes Kim, who felt it was okay to put my name in her blog, along with the board I cl. So why am I wrong for mentioning her as one of the people who are not happy with the board? I just don't get it.
My point is just not coming accross right I guess.
I have apologized to Kim for the way I slammed her. I could have chosen my words more carefully, But I will never back down from speaking my mind as well.
Concerning the people who e-mail me that is fine I do not see them as a problem, infact that is why I have my e-mail under my sig.
My point is that we all have the right to say what ever we want. And my other point is if we or someone has a problem or would like to see something different on the board, then please say so when you do have a complaint.
For one thing some people are hurt if they do not feel people are posting to them. How can we fix that, how can we make them understand it is not because they are not accepted on the board.
I think we can fix this problem by people posting how they feel about their posts and how they sometimes feel they have nothing to contribute etc.
Also not everyone is interested in every post, I am sure we have all had times when we have not taken interest in a post or cannot relate to it but it is not a reason to take it personnally. I have put some posts on that get almost no replies, and I just figure it is not of interest so no sweat.
I know this is a thing that many people sometimes or at times feel bad about and then leave the board thinking that people are dissing them. Other people if they find topics are not of interest can post topics that interest them.
But to just complain and walk away and keep complaining because it is not getting better, well how can it get better if everyone just walks away or carries hurt feelings from the board.
It does not mean slamming people or having to read every post. I just think we can talk about these things on the board and then possibly they can be straightened out. This board is so busy it is hard to answer each and every post every time.
Maybe I am taking this to seriously. Maybe I am wanting to fix things that I can't and yes today I allowed my frustrations to come out in a poor choice of words.
Maybe I spent to much time in the military and expect to much in civilian life. In the military it was just so ingrained in your head that if you have a complaint, also have some suggestions to help.
Don't just complain and walk away from something or if you only have a complaint and no suggestions to help fix it then quit complaining, because you are not willing to change it. I guess I take that with me in civilian life as well. It is not just a blog or board thing it is a way I live my life and believe in. I try not to push my ways on other's but today I was not perfect, I got frustrated, I did not take it personnel, I just got so frustrated with complaining and walking away rather than people trying to help fix the problems they are having. That is why I did not have an affair and why I am still working on my relationship and other things in my life including this board.
So I am hoping that people will speak up and say what they need and see if we can help. I do not know why this got so out of control. I do understand why it was brought to the board.
Hugs,
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Edited 3/21/2005 4:16 pm ET ET by cl-lauriedav
I haven't been around here so I really don't think I am at liberty to say anything on this topic,yet me and my big mouth,lol...
no seriously I love this place and well at first things got semi-ugly???or maybe depressing yet I got used to the differences in the board and well things change so we have to or we live in the past forever???Now it really doesn't seem like the differences were anything at all.....
I personally am not around because well real life for me is SUPER busy and well work and my advancement in a career????what is that,lol.....and my love life,my gf moving here,me moving in with her or just getting out on my own and away from my father (mostly) is my focus as of right now...I love coming by and well didn't mean to up and leave but well....somethings I have to do,I can't sit behind the desk all night anymore....I think you and sadie are awesome and doing great.....just my thoughts.....Jo
That's what I am talking about. This is not supposed to be a place where people need to walk away hurt or angry, or bored.
Thank you for your post.
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
You have always had so much to contribute here. I guess I wish you would show up more or as often as is possible so that you can put into this board what you like and contribute all of the things you do so well.
I think reading your blog (for me your oppinion does count) sort of came across as attacking the board instead of helping out with it. But, that is not really your responsibilty.
I just think your oppinion counts Kim. I thought you had given up on the board. I guess I forgot that you have the right to do that, it is up to you.
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Yeah, I was wrong for singling Kim out and I guess I did so because I was singled out in her blog before. I know that does not make my actions right. I let my anger take over while I was typing.
I have learned my lesson about public forums that is for sure. Once you tell something of yourself it can show up anywhere on the internet. I let it fire up my temper without waiting to cool down before I typed. I need to learn how to sit on my fingers for a while until I cool off when I get fired up.
Thank you for saying it in a nice manner. ; )
take care,
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
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