Everything is all gone wrong!..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Everything is all gone wrong!..
34
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 9:06pm
I am crying so hard... I can't call son any more.. His father has said I am a

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 11:39pm
No on both.. No legal stuff happening ..because why do that.. if Son is going to maybe, most likely,

 C  >^. A .

Avatar for nursepam2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 12:12am

{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}}


The boys' father must feel very threatened by the relationship you have begun to form with your youngest son.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 3:02am
((((((((((((((((((((Awwwwww Lee))))))))))))))))))))
It is possible ex found out you have told son he can come stay with you and feels you are trying to take him away. I am not sure what all ex could or does know.
Maybe son will calm down and call you again.
Not sure, but is does sound like ex put him up to the phone call.
In about 3 years your son's will be adults 18 yrs. and ex will not be able to tell any of you what you can or cannot do.
Maybe son lashed out at ex for keeping you away.
I wish I had the answer for you Lee.
I am so sorry for what you are going through.
When your son's become adults, they will come to you to hear the truth or your side of why you did not come to see them.
You will have long talks and get to catch up on their lives that you were forced to miss out on.
I wish you could get legal advice. I know it is expensive.
Is it possible to meet son when he is leaving school so that you can talk to him without going to the house?
I wish I had the right words for you Lee.
You are in my thoughts and my heart.
Give them some time to cool off up there.
xo
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 5:07am

Cat, Your son may be emotionally fragile right now (as are you) but he's fifteen and will be making his own mind up about a good many things, regardless of whether he voices his interpretations and opinions or not. Your Ex called you awful names? Your son knows you are a good, caring woman, he knows S is lovely and concerned for him as well. He can see the support she gives you and the venom with which his father handles everything. He will NOT buy his Dad's beliefs.


I think the most important thing right now is to ensure your son continues to get the help he's needing. I really really would encourage you to let the therapist know you've been pushed out of the picture but that you need to be informed for your own peace of mind.


Above all, Cat, remember this whole situation is fluid. This is NOT the way it will be forever! Keep your chin up. Keep in touch with your son through email if you have to, even if he doesn't reply... keep the love flowing. You don't have to put yourself in danger by being physically with son.. and he knows his Dad would go off... wouldn't want you there for that, but keep that link out there for son to grab when he's ready. He will be, at some point.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2005
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 7:09am

I would like to offer you more than cyberhugs as well. I wish that we were a bit closer. Then again, if we were, I would probably be in jail for kicking his buttocks. He would be just the guy for me to let loose all my lifetime anger on. :)

I know it is hard, but I hope you do get to feeling better!

Here's a hug...

(((((((((((((((((((((((CAT))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Please hang in there. You know how he has been an a-hole before and then changed his mind.

Keep us updated when you can. There's nothing wrong with crying. Cry if you need to. If there's anything I can do, let me know. You can email me.

Big warm hugs,

bug

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 8:50am

(((((((((((CAT))))))))))))


I am so sorry for how I know you must be hurting right now. And poor son too. Kim and I are sending all our love and many hugs your way. Please email if you need to talk.


(((((((((((((((Big hugs))))))))))))))))


~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 8:51am

(((((Cat))))), please hang in there. I too believe that this will blow over. Keep doing everything you can to help your son. The most importnant thing is that you're there for him now, the past is behind you. Help him to see that, too.


My number has changed since I've moved, but I will email it too you in case you need it. Many prayers and positive thoughts coming your way girl.

~ Proud Co-cl of Lesbian Life


my email


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 9:02am

(((((((((Cat))))))))))


I firmly believe that what goes around, comes around, and I believe that will be true for your XH. It's just so unfair that it has to take so long. DS will come back to you. You're a good mama.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 10:02am
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{CAT}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I don't have anything more to add, I agree with all of the posts- get a lawyer, let therapist in on your side of the story, hang in there... DS knows you love him. It sounds like he is just a mess right now and that happens... He'll be back. Meanwhile, PLEASE take care of yourself and S!!!! You two need to be strong so that you can handle this situation and the ones to come.
Brownie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 10:28am

Oh Cat, I am so sad about this.

Kim
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