Saturday's unwanted date
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| Tue, 05-17-2005 - 10:13am |
Saturday my sister told me she was having her boyfriend over. I had no problem with that at all. What she didn't tell me - she was having one of his friends come over too. She was kind of making a double date with out me knowing. I've meet this guy before. But didn't want any bother out of him. I tried to be nice so I didn't want to hurt his feeling (talked to him etc.)the first time I meet him.
I was laying across my bed watching my basketball (drinking a mango rum twister) and he comes and opens my bedroom door and stares at me. First off I wasn't dressed for company (I had my little shorty shorts on with a white tee tied in a knot in the front - I was showing a lot of skin! - and he was staring like he was getting ready to ponce on me!)
I said can I help you? And he laughed at me (making me really mad). He just walks in then and sits on my bed. I get up and without making too much of a scene grab my robe and put it on.
He was watching the game - I really didn't have a problem with that. We were cheering. Then he wanted to start to rub my leg - so I moved over so he couldn't reach me. He then seemed like he started to inch himself closer to me. And when his hands went for my waist and his mouth went for my neck - I jumped so fast away from him I fell on the floor.
He took my hand and helped me off the floor then I turned to him and said - It's cool if you want to watch the game I don't have a problem with that - but if you touch me again I swear I will give you a black eye.
So now needless to say the first date I had in a very long time was one that was unwanted and I had to threaten to beat him up. (which really is funny after I think about it - him being 6/4 and really built and me only 5/4 and about 115 pounds he would of creamed me) But he sat there and acted like he had some good since - and got up out my bedroom when the game was over.
LOL
Angel

Angel, tell your sister no more setups (I hate those too).
He had a lot of nerve, coming into your room uninvited and touching you. You showed amazing restraint in not giving him a shiner!
~ Proud Co-cl of Lesbian Life
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Oh Angel, that's terrible!
My grandparents have tried to set me up before, but not like that. Thank goodness! This was several years ago. Without asking, my grandmother gave my telephone number out to a single guy. He called me. He knew my name. I didn't know him. Once I figured out how he got my number, we talked for a while. I tried to be nice. He resided out in the country. Spoke more country than I. LOL Well, after one phone call, he is telling the whole county in which he resides in that I'm his Rose.
That's saying alot for a woman who is called "boy" by little children at the YMCA! LOL
"Hey, boy watch this!" - "Momma, is that a boy?" Long story. I'm definately letting my hair grow now!
Anyway, you stood up for yourself and that's good.
buggie
C >^. A .
My family really has no idea. You have to figure I have three kids and always have had males around me. I was even married. The only one in my family that I have talked to about my preference is one of my sisters. We are about 10 months apart in age. We were riding to the mall one day and she asked me if she could talk to me about something and not say anything to anybody else. I said yes. And she told me that she was bisexual. She lives about 2 hours away from our family. And I told her that there's absolutely nothing wrong with her preference. I then told her that I like ladies. She said that nice. I knew she wasn't getting what I had just told her. Then I repeated myself to her. Her eyes got really big. And she gave me a big hug. I think it was a big comfort letting her know that she wasn't alone. From that day on me and her have been closer then we have ever been.
You know that's kind of funny, thinking about it now. My sister and I have almost a 10 year age gap between us, so we didn't really "grow up" together. In fact, I really did not get to know her until maybe two years ago.
Wow. What a story.
At any rate, my only suggestion to you is to : Find your mouth.
1. You'd have never been in that situation had you told your sister AS SOON AS YOU REALIZED THE SITUATION that you wouldnt tolerate it.
2. As SOON as you saw him at your door and you KNEW you didnt want him there, you should have stopped him before he even thought to come in the door with a simple "I didnt invite you in, you need to leave now"..not to even imply that anything that happened was your fault, but you have to always remember that you have more control than you think...
Girl, in the future this habit of speaking your mind will really come in handy for you. It empowers you - it is in place so people know your boundaries, they respect you..and it keeps you safe.
Something to work on. Take care.
-Alisha
It's kind of nice to have someone that is family that you can talk to. I would of never thought that of my sister - I always thought she was the stuck-up kind.
Wow, ten years - that's a pretty large gap. I have three sisters 23, 28, 32 and a little brother 9 (my mother remarried again and tried one last time for a boy). Two of my three children are older than their uncle.
I love my little brother so much - He's always at my house - he asked me if I could please adopted him. He special to me. (He's a little boy but wants to be a little girl) As soon as my mom hit's the door his shoes are off and he has my heels on. He sneaks in my make-up & my clothes. He hangs with his nieces not his newphews. He doesn't like sports. And he sits on the side lines with me at my daughters cheerleading practice and dreams of being a cheerleader also. He knows all the cheers and screams them loud.
My mom has seen his behavior and said she'll love him no matter. But my step dad is from down south and flips over these little actions.
I figure I'm going to let him be who he wants to be.
I'm glad your sister came to you to talk.
LOL,
Angel
I'm working on that. I really don't like to hurt people's feelings. Everybody mentions that I'm to kind hearted. And people take what I give to extremes. I'm trying - It's so darn hard though. I'm the kind of person that doesn't even cuss.
Thanks for the advice
Angel
Aww...
Thats perfectly okay to be soft hearted and to care about other people's feelings, but remember its OKAY to look out for yourself as well as expect others to treat you as you want to be treated. Ive learned that the hard way, ya know?
In my mind, I look at everything like this: Life is WAY short to be concerned about what other's think about me, or how other people will tolerate things or "handle" things. Everything is on MY terms. If it doesnt make me happy or isnt good to/for me, it needs to be changed (within reason of course..lol) - and You deserve only good things. Sometimes people dont always give those things to you, so then you have to take them for yourself.
Dont make apologies for who and what ya are honey! Its great that you care about people!
You'll find your way. And you'll realize its okay.
:)
Alisha