Trying to Heal
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Trying to Heal
| Mon, 05-30-2005 - 1:46am |
I have been gone for so long and have missed you ladies so much.
I have been going through alot of physical and emotional turmoil (I will use the word turmoil at the risk of sounding a tad dramatic.)
I guess I crawled into a hole to hide from my own frustrations of my body not wanting to heal as fast as I would like it too. I have been told that (as most of you know) my heart condition is reversable at this point, but have come to find out that I have lung damage that will never heal.
I have done this to my own body from smoking and living a wild life in the past.
The other physical problems come from an assault years ago and seem to be getting worse as I get older.
I always felt like I would always be to strong to get sick or injured as I have been.
I am only 45 years old and I just went into a deep dark depression realizing my own mortality.
I am determined not to give up. I am still going to be strong and get through this.
I started this weekend by really starting to do some serious working out. I got very sick and had to beg my parents to please not call 911.
I have been very frustrated with my body since it is not co-operating with me in my time.
I am promising to be here on a regular basis no matter what from now on. I refuse to give in to my weakness.
The strong will survive!!!! I have always said that I am a survivor. This is just one more time I need to prove it to myself.
Thanks you for being patient in my absence.
I have been going through alot of physical and emotional turmoil (I will use the word turmoil at the risk of sounding a tad dramatic.)
I guess I crawled into a hole to hide from my own frustrations of my body not wanting to heal as fast as I would like it too. I have been told that (as most of you know) my heart condition is reversable at this point, but have come to find out that I have lung damage that will never heal.
I have done this to my own body from smoking and living a wild life in the past.
The other physical problems come from an assault years ago and seem to be getting worse as I get older.
I always felt like I would always be to strong to get sick or injured as I have been.
I am only 45 years old and I just went into a deep dark depression realizing my own mortality.
I am determined not to give up. I am still going to be strong and get through this.
I started this weekend by really starting to do some serious working out. I got very sick and had to beg my parents to please not call 911.
I have been very frustrated with my body since it is not co-operating with me in my time.
I am promising to be here on a regular basis no matter what from now on. I refuse to give in to my weakness.
The strong will survive!!!! I have always said that I am a survivor. This is just one more time I need to prove it to myself.
Thanks you for being patient in my absence.
Hugs,
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html

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Hey Stranger!
((((((((((((((((((((Laurie)))))))))))))))))))))))))
So good to hear from you, and I too have missed your presence on this board! I'm so glad your going to fight back and kick the TOSS out of your physical problems. You know I'm here for you as your personal trainer. I hope you were able to get that heart rate monitor? It will give you peace of mind when you can see exactly how much your heart rate is when you start to exercise.
Cat is so right about natural medicines. I took myself off of synthroid after I gained all that water weight. In time I lost the weight, and I've been able to keep it off. You can do it too. Just in small steps like Caly said. Gosh so many smart women on this board.
:) ;) smile.........so good to see you back!
hugs babe,
halo
hugs
halo
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
I will read your story and thank you for posting.
How is the lesbian social life going down there.
I would be interestead in hearing more on that topic as well.
I have missed you all so much.
It is so good to hear from you.
I will read your other post.
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Laurie! I just wanted to sneak in here and say that we have missed you too! All we want is for you to get better. Giant (((((hugs))))).
~ Proud Co-cl of Lesbian Life
my email
LL Member Pics
So good to hear from you.
I hope you will stay safe as I know you must be riding around on that murder cycle of yours now that the weather has changed.
Hugs to you and the kids.
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Do you have any beach pics to share with the group, haaaa.
getting better will be a marathon but I will get through it, I always do. I was so worried that I was doomed for a while there.
I feel better just getting up and around now. I seem to be a bit stronger each day.
I have never been so sick in my whole life as I have been these days.
Maybe we can catch up on business this week. Either by phone or e-mail, your choice.
Very nice to hear from you and to know you are home and tucked in safe.
Talk to you soon,
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
C >^. A .
((((Hugs))))
C >^. A .
Awwwww you and ~S~ sound like Sheila and I at the book store.
I tried the library a few times but I hate touching those books after so many people, weird I know.
And for some reason there is always something on one of the pages that looks suspiciously like a booger.
Mostly I never take them back on time and have to pay as much as if I bought the book and then I don't get to keep it.
We did buy a membership to an online library and so far I have been able to find everything I am looking for. That way I can read it online or print some out and not pay my usual fines.
I too like to read about angels and things like that.
Today, Elizabeth was so busy playing ball on the fourth floor of her condo that she did not take the time to make it down to her litter box, but she came to get her treat anyway. I told her no, you poop in the box... so she went down and went in her litter box for a second then came back for her treat. I just had to give it to her.
Not sure what that taught her, but she was to cute.
Yes, comedian friends are gold. I am thankfull to have them. We are haveing lunch together on Saturday.
Sheila really loves them too and they love her.
She is really funny too and can really hold her own among the comedians. She likes to help me write my material which is alot of fun.
I am working on new material and the guts to get back on stage.
I really miss it.
It is so nice to hear from you my kitty cat and the humorous cat stories.
I noticed you prowling the board tonight.
Hugs to you and ~S~,
I hope things are a bit better with your son's or at least peaceful for now.
Laurie
co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board
Email- didoangst@comcast.net
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhlesbianlif/
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html
Hehe Ok Cat!
We are infact going to a LSG
aka
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