Share your positive outcomes...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Share your positive outcomes...
39
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 11:08am
I love to here personal success stories.
I would like to here your stories of something you had to overcome, how you did it and how you feel about it now.
It can be about anything and everything, health, work, a move, school etc.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/

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Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 12:56pm

Prepare yourselves for a short novel here,lol....
I truly have two things I think.....the first would be that at about 27 I found out that I had a birth defect.I had been to the local ER about five times here....I had chest pains maybe once a month and spell where I felt like I was going to pass out/couldn't breathe ....the local ER was clueless,always saying come back when they are happening,we can't do anything for now.
I was in the neighboring town where I worked later and had the pains.I went to the ER,they did an x-ray and the doctor said my breast bone had caved in.
He sent me to a heart doctor,who in turn said there was nothing wrong with my heart.I finally somehow was led to believe I needed a thorsic(sp?) doctor,the closet one was at duke unviersity hospital 100 miles away....we finally got to see him(my mom and I) for two hundred dollars and he said so when you want to have surgury?I had a pectus deformity...I had no insurance and if I had had it would not have covered my surgury.MY surgury was known as "cosmetic" because 1 of 1000 have it and 1 in 5000 are causing breathing problems ..mainly it just looks bad....(see www.pectusdeformity.com)....we set up the surgury then the day before they find I am not insured so they need half down which was 25 thousand dollars.....we try other options and then finally find vocational rehab...they paid for everything...they were a dream come true....they didn't take the route for my surgury as on the web site....they broke my ribs and flipped my breastbone over,put a pin in my chest and I stayed drugged at duke hospital for five days.....then when i came home my mom moved into my house then with me....I could not sit up by myself from a lying postion or any postion really for two months....for two months every four hours I would have to take oxycon to relief my pain/downside for that was living drugged for two months....I could do anything and could not drive....the pin was removed and by this time I had lost my house shortly after,my family paid my bills as did vocational rehab til they couldn't any more.....so now here with mom I stay just now recently(8 months ago) I have hopefully find a career of sorts so I can now get my life back.....excpect mom is 70 now so It's kind of my turn to be here for her....the postive is all my life I was heathly ....and now that I did something I swore never to do(go under the knife)...and survived something that I don't even remeber half of I don't/try not to take anything for granted....having a physical job was something I was not sure I would ever do again yet it was the only job I really knew......I am thankful and looking at the website from time to time reminds me....

#2 would be losing my soulmate when she passed away leaving her two young daughters behind to pay the price....she reminds me to take care of me,....and well hoping one day I have the connection that I had with her.she hid her pain with drug use,swearing she would never take her life just because of her daughters and the pain it would bring me ,in the end she did just that....it makes me realize life is a gift,treasure it,if you abuse it you pay and so do the people around you...ok enough with deep....Happy memorial Day,Jo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 2:50pm
Jo,
Thank you for posting that. You went through so much. I cannot imagine the pain you must have endured.
I am so glad you have healed and can get back to work. I do hope you will take care of yourself and I hope that you will find that special connection you are looking for. You are such a sweetie.
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
Avatar for cooledbyair
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 3:12pm
thanks laurie,
hey what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right???best of luck with your health problems ....we all have them......god bless,Jo
P.S. Awwww I am not that sweet,lol *blushing*
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2005
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 9:41pm

Wow, Laurie I could tell you about a lot of positive outcomes. But, for now I'll spare you the TMI with just one post.

When I took Expository Writing in college, I wrote a narrative about an event that took place in my childhood. At first, I was a bit hesitate to do so. It was a very sensitive subject matter. But, after writing it, I felt healing from the event. The positive outcome was sharing a painful story and breaking free from the torment.

I would post the narrative, but it is a bit too long for a single post. So, I put it in my blog.

http://hotbloggers.blogspot.com/




Edited 5/30/2005 9:48 pm ET ET by bug1971
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 10:58pm

Laurie, I know what you're going through.

The story that I'm about to share with you is my story of looking death in the face, a long and painfull recovery, to a recovery that is a miracle in and of itself:

On Dec 5, of 2001, I was in a life threating car accident. Three people were killed instantly, only two survived: me and a small child. When they pulled me out of the car that I was a passenger of, either the State Police Officer or the Paramedic that pulled me out of the car, couldn't believe that I was still alive. They had to helivac me to the nearest hospital. It took three doctors and a GoreTex bandage to close my stomach, and it took a miracle for my spleen to reproduce white plataletts for me to survive.

When I was stablized, The helivaced me to another hospital, a hospital where they take trauma patients. Well, I had to have screws at pins put in my pelvis, then I had to have a metal plate, more screws and pins put in my left thigh. My right foot is permanently damaged, meaning nerve and muscular damage. I will never walk like everyone else again... I had to have an exterior fixator screwed into my pelvis for the pins and screws and my plevis to heal. I was a mess. I still have the scars to prove it. Anyway, They had to do a breathing test on me, and I failed, so they gave me a trach, to this day, I have asthma. Sometimes I have to do inhalers......

My bladder was weakend because of the cathater, that I had to wear, now I have to wear Depends.... When I found out that the woman that I was in love with, that was driving the car that I was in, was killed instantly, all I could do was cry. I cried everyday and every night. I pleaded for the nurses, the nurse's assitants to let me die, but they didn't. I was so depressed, I had stopped eating, I completely lost the will to survive.
I was threatened with feeding tubes, and I told them, most arrogantly, to do whatever they wanted, I simply wanted to die. I had gotten a staph infection, and I was angry with the doctor take made sure that it was taken care of properly, I was angry at the world....

I was angry at my physcial therapist, I was angry with my occupational therapist, I was angry period. I had to be waken up in the middle of the night to be given a bath, I had to be waken up in the middle of the night to have blood taken. I was angry in the morning to have my finger stuck, because I didn't know that I had diabetes. I have Adult Onset diabetes. I was angry because they had to bathe me in the morning. I was angry because I had to learn how to use the bathroom again. I was angry because they brought me breakfast, lunch and dinner. I was just angry all of the time.

I was deeply depressed and angry because I survived. I was bankrupt, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, psychologially, and physically. One of the nurses assistants yelled at me and said, "Just look at you, you're just skin and bones!!" And I was, literally skin and bones. When the doctor that had been with me since day one, came in to see me, I was surprised at how thin she had gotten. I asked her, "Why have you lost so much weight?" She said, "Because I have been worried about you, that's why!" I looked at her and said, "Ok, this stops now" See I had developed a crush on her. So, the bubble of depression had popped. And I ate, and I started to change for the better. I decided to go back into physical therapy, I decided to want to get healthy, my minister came to see me. My desire to live started to return again. I became more loving and more cooperative. I even sat up for a while to talk and speak to the passing doctors, the visitors, and some of the other professional staff. Of course, after a while, I started to get tired and wanted to go and lay back down. So I was helped back into bed, and I relaxed and took a nap.

My mother came out to see me, and on occaision she gave me a bath and combed my hair. She couldn't stay that long, and at times I hated to see her go, but she had to go home.

After a while, they told me I had to go to a nursing home, I wasn't exactly thrilled about that idea. Anyway, the day that I was supposed to leave, the nurse's their assistants, and my doctor all came in to say goodbye. It was a sad day indeed. But, I was on my way to a nursing home whether or not I liked it or not. I was there for eight months, my minister came to see me, gave me communion, blessed me with oil, and spent time with me. Then I had some of the members come and see me, I was so happy to see them.

Then came the day, when I finally wanted to leave the nursing home, that is another story in and of itself. When I got to my mom's, I had to continue to heal, but my spiritual side still needed to heal. So, my minister, came to my mom's house to give me communion, and I wanted to see my church family again. One of the member of my church volunteered to take me to church, and he still does to this very day. My church family has greeted me with love and joy. I then went back to singing with the choir, and along with the rest of my determination, I began to walk with a walker, and I ride in my wheelchair. Instead of sitting in my apartment, day after day, I decided to go to school, get my handicapped drivers license, and get a job. I have been happy, and have been determined ever since.

I still have a positive attitude, and I'm determined to do more for myself. I'm learning to do more for myself, but the only thing that alludes me, is the love of my life. Along with all of this, I have a mental illness called Bipolar Disorder, and I have reluctantly gone back on my medication, I'm also in therapy. I still look forward to getting a pick-up truck, a girlfriend that loves me for me, and can overlook my disabilities. And hopefully we can get married, without the law or the church sticking it's nose in. Of course, there are days the I get depressed and ask why me? But I know the answer that there is hope, and why not me.

I hope that let's you know of my positive outcome, I do hope that you do more than just survive. I have come to know you as a very loving and caring person, Laurie. Please hold on. {{{{{{{{{{Laurie}}}}}}}}}}

Healing Hugs to you.




Edited 5/31/2005 5:51 pm ET ET by igentleheart

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 11:48pm
(((((((((((((Jo))))))))))))) You are a sweetheart and all I can say is... Wow!~~ and

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 11:50pm
((((((((Bug)))))))) Thanks for sharing .. I will go read perhaps.. You also are a

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 11:54pm
((((((((((((Gigi)))))))))))) as with Jo's

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 1:53am
Gigi,
Thanks for sharing so much of you. You are truely a sweetheart and have been through so much.
I admire you and everyone else for your strength and fight to get back to living again.
Sometimes it feels like I am in a deep cave and am looking for the way out only to have things collapse all around me then other days it is as if I have pushed through the debris and am on my way back out of the tunnel, and back and fourth it goes.
I too have been diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder. I hate the meds. I feel like they make me feel tired etc.
The diabetes gets in the way of my love of food but I enjoy my diet now because I feel so much better when I am eating right and have even aquired a taste for healthy foods.
The chronic pain from my assault is another story. That is what at times makes me feel like giving up sometimes. And then now my heart and lung condition. I hate to be weak.
Your story and the others here are very inspiring and encouraging.
It is so easy to get the blues when I cut myself off from the rest of the world.
I promised my friends, family and counselor not to continue down that path. I have also promised myself. I feel so good since I worked in my yard this weekend with alot of help from my parents of course. I had to take alot of breaks, but the yard looks awesome again and I hurt good from working instead of from sitting and laying around.
Sheila has hired Merry Maids to clean our house once a week and I will keep up with the daily things. My goal is to get reconditioned or to a point where I can at least take care of my own house again someday. For now I have to recondition my heart before I can have any of the surgeries I need. And hopefully my lungs will be ok.
Loubie shared her story too. So Now I have no reason to get down on myself and I need to (as cat would say) Snap outta it!
I can walk on my own two feet, I can write and do comedy, I can go to school if I want to. There is so much I can do to be productive. I just need to feel like I have a point to my life.
I want to make a documentary film and have a way to get some of the grants that I would need.
I have so many things to not be depressed about, but I still need to find out, "what's the point?"
So that will be my quest.
Thank you gigi, for the inspiration.
I have missed you so much.
Hugs, Laurie Check out my new blog. co-cl of Lesbian Life Message Board Email- didoangst@comcast.net http://didoangst.blogspot.com/ http://www.4-lesbianlife.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:13am

Awwww GiGi,

That just made me cry! Thank God you pulled through, you are an inspiration to all of us. I thank God that I've never had to endure such tragedies. I have led a very dangerous life, seemingly tempting fate, and now I can look back and thank the angels for being there to protect my stupid self! My Grandma always said I can go in smelling like POO and come out smelling like roses. LoL

So, now I'm sad and have no more small talk for you....((((((((((Gigi))))))))))))))
I think I will slow down on my motorcycle and ride with extra caution now. Thanks for sharing and showing just how brave a knight you truly are!

hugs
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