So Friends what do you think?..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
So Friends what do you think?..
30
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:48pm

Here goes.. As a lot of you know things were progressing for my son and I with deep talks and getting closer and even visits..For awhile ..Was years before I could get that going...
Then the ex found out that my son and I shared conversations.. with things about (him ex) not being favorable but were brought to the front by my son..The info my son gave him(ex) about our conversations I have no idea how much..
Okay so now it's been what?.. about 2 months or a bit more since I have seen him (my Son)..
He told me the last time I talked to him (him being under ditress)that he didn't want to talk to me any more.. I truely believe it was as I said because


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 10:05am

((((((((Cat))))))))) I'm with the others in thinking that you should go, but I do so understand your concerns and hesitations. I had to pick up my DDs from my exILs this past Saturday and haven't spoken to them since December when XH and I decided to divorce. It was a VERY tough situation, but I focused on my girls and that helped me get through the anxiety.


It will be tough for sure, especially if your ex tries to make a scene, but just keep in mind what everyone else has said...you will never regret that you went. And your son will be thankful one day too. Your ex has those boys wrapped around his finger like he had you many years ago. One day they will be strong enough to break away and come back to you. I do believe that what goes around comes around.


Sending you lots of big hugs...

Ting
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:52am


OH CAT I'm so sorry for this. See Your ex feels like he was hurt. And he feels like he going to make you pay in everyway he can. See if you ever heard of mama drama - this is it except is daddy drama. There's people out there that will use anything and everything aganist you just to see you hurt. But ALWAYS in the long run it turns around and bites them right in the butt!!! This is not hurting him (Not at all) or you (your in pain alot) as much as it is causing the boy's pain.

Your son is being torn apart right now. He feels like he cannot win. He might be trying to get through these next two years to be able to do what he wants. He dosn't want to hurt his father right now. And he diffently doesn't want to put you through any more pain. He loves very very much. His father might of went through his computer (Which is very unfair).

I would IM him and let him know you love him. That your always just a phone care away. If he or his brother EVER needs anything do not hesitate to get in contact.

It could be one of two things happening right now. One you ex is getting the IM's and not letting your son see them - or your son might be too afraid of your ex.

You say a couple of times that your ex keeps saying his son. But on Earth it takes TWO to make a child. And one parent is not god to decide who should be in that's child's life.

Little story for you about my life, my children, their father!!!

There father would abuse me (mentally, phsyically, sexually). I left him when my daughter was 1 - son was 4. He threatened me - he would wait out side my house - Call and hang up - call and threaten me on phone. I had to get a PFA on him after he broke into my house and tried to slice my throat with a hunting knife. He been in and out of prison - been addicted to drugs.

But through this all if my children wanted to see him (supervised by grandparents) or he wanted to see them I made it happen. How am I to decide who is important in my children's life? They have to make that choice by themself. And I'm letting them. My son doesn't have anything to do with him. My daughter loves her father and holds nothing against him because that's the kind of person she is (she said daddy is a sick person who trying to better him self now).

I wished the world was filled with better people.

As the graduation it's totally up to you. But I want to make you ready for anything. Yes your ex may show his butt if you do go. But don't let this stop you if going means so much to you.

What I can say - do what's in your heart and let GOD guide you.

LOL,
Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 12:03pm
I'm sorry for what you and your sons are going through.

 

 

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Avatar for poohntgr0163
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 2:18pm

Dear (((Cat)))


I am so very sorry for all the pain you are going through.. I wish I could give you a huge HUG.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 4:18pm

If it were me, I'd go to the graduation.

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 7:07pm

Kitty Cat, if you feel that it would cause him more stress, hurt, and confusion

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 8:51pm

Cat...You Should go!! Such an important day....you need to be there.


Now think....is it a big place, or small?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:04pm
Thanks (((Ting))) The more I think on it honestly..the more I get afraid.. He is a real trouble maker and I am so afraid of him causing a

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:12pm
(((Angel))) Thanks Hon for your feelings on my post and delima..
I can't im my son any more.. Well I can, but am afraid because ex said he would take action against me if I did!.. Too darn much!!!!.. huh?
I really believe both my son's love me.. They have both said the words "I Love you" to me, without my asking

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:16pm
(((((Hugs Gbud)))) I do ..Don't I?..

 C  >^. A .