So Friends what do you think?..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
So Friends what do you think?..
30
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 10:48pm

Here goes.. As a lot of you know things were progressing for my son and I with deep talks and getting closer and even visits..For awhile ..Was years before I could get that going...
Then the ex found out that my son and I shared conversations.. with things about (him ex) not being favorable but were brought to the front by my son..The info my son gave him(ex) about our conversations I have no idea how much..
Okay so now it's been what?.. about 2 months or a bit more since I have seen him (my Son)..
He told me the last time I talked to him (him being under ditress)that he didn't want to talk to me any more.. I truely believe it was as I said because


 C  >^. A .

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:20pm
Thanks ((((((((Pooh)))))))) Yes please

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:23pm
Ahhhhhhhh (((((Kim)))))) You are so much, I believe a stronger person and very much more out there than I.. I do indeed appreciate your feelings on it.. I am as I said rolling it around and around ..It's getting a

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:28pm
Ohhh ((((Dear Sadie))))) Yes I am afraid of Ex really seeing me and making a

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Tue, 06-14-2005 - 11:33pm

((((Lea))))) Thats an Idea Huh?.. I and ~S~ shall talk together about that.. Wearing something like hat or something to be not so known.. But geez if ex does see us he will say even more how we are weird and devious... hiding with disquises.. Really! He will do all to make me look bad..
Thanks Hon.. I know I deserve to be there.. He is my Son too. I carried him in my body.. I had the C-section .. I fed him and diapered him.. I was there when he first went to kindergarten..*Sigh..
Thanks Hon
(((Hugs)))


((((Hugs))))


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 10:41am

Cat, don't sell yourself short.

Kim
Check out my

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 2:02pm

CAT,

You cannot say they are like him. He makes it seem like they are like him. They have minds of their own. Even if they are still to young to be able to use them. One day they will. You sound like your in so much pain caused by this. And I feel for you soooo much because I'm a mother. Does your ex have a PFA aganist you? (if I may ask) Have you ever cause you children any danger? (if I may ask) He as no right to take action aganist you. Even children who haven't been with parents for years are given a second chance.

Like I said he didn't make them children on his own. They are just as much yours as his. Even if he has them for a day, a month or years!!!! He is wrong for the things he is doing.

Don't be sad. Just pray (even though sometimes it seems like he not listening to you - he is - my mom told me he never put too much on your shoulders that you cannot handle - and believe me sometimes I felt like I was ready to tip over!!! I always try to hang in there and every normally works out in the long run). It maybe tomorrow - it maybe a month - even it may take a couple of years. But what ever you do - have faith in yourself & your children & and god and everything will work out!!

LOL,
Angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 11:06pm
Thanks ((((Kim)))).. I had another day of tears and thoughts..but still un-decided..
Getting more the feeling not to go than to go,although up un-til his stupid threats I was all for going..
Anyhow.. I know your right of course.. I have perservered and kept believing and trying..
I do tend to beat up on me a bit to much at times. ~S~ can vouch for that..
I just don't want this Man to cause a commotion and embarrass my son either should I go.. This is my Son's day.. His father is a

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Wed, 06-15-2005 - 11:22pm
Hi angel..
I don't know what a PFA is.. But I can tell you he has nothing against me..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 7:04am

Cat..I am SO sorry you are going through all this. I understand your feelings of fear, I have been there also.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 9:29am

OH CAT,

I've have been through this twice!!!

A PFA is protection aganist abuse. Which is a restraining order. A judge will not place in order without trying to contact the other side of the order. It's a hold court process. Where both parties have to sit before a judge and sometimes others and tell each of their side of the story. Then he will decide if one is needed to be placed. Did your ex say he had one or did you receive paper work.

The thing with custody and not going to court and having the boys placed by a judge is the biggest bonus you could ask for!!!! Them not being placed with his and not being placed with you means - YOU BOTH have the same right!!!!! Does your ex realize they have made laws now - making so you cannot keep a child from the childs other parent - he can do time for this. He is not allowed to threaten etc. the children if they want to see you. Which would place him in jail.

Have you ever tried to go to the courts for help. A Lawyer isn't a problem (if you don't have the money) they have programs in every state that would help you!!!!

CAT I have been threatened, Beaten, tried to be killed. But I will not lower my self to his standards!! I will not be afraid of him (Them/anyone). It comes time in a person's life when you stand up for your self, what's right, what's important to you. You have to reclaim you life back. If not you will live in fear everyday of your life. And I refuse to be afraid. I refuse to feel so shrinkened that I feel like I didn't exist. I will not believe the lie nobody will ever want me because I'm ugly. I will not rush around to make sure everything is in order and food is finished and hot when he comes home. I will not let somebody lock me in a room again.

CAT you may not be ready to do this yet. But I want you to understand you have rights. And even though he is really scary to you at some point I really hope you take control - when you do this you will see he has lost the power over you.

I hope you make your decision soon. And remember it's your decision!!! I will keep all of you in my prayers!! Tell (S) to give you a big hug & kiss you need it!!

Keep your head high!!
Angel

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