guess I can finally share....(long?)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
guess I can finally share....(long?)
7
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 6:11pm
guess I can finally share since my relationship is over....I couldn't come back and post while we were working things out,she saw a post here from me....that hurt her.Me asking advice....guess I shouldn't have asked here but I needed answers about my doubts and confusion so I did.....Those doubt weren't about her,they were about me.
well we had a great relationship....the only problems we had were her ex hounding to break us up and in the end the ex was what did break us up.If only things could have stayed great,but they didn't....I tried so hard at the end but when I thought she was cheating,she painted an on-line picture out of anger towards me that she was.We lost our trust and could not get it back again.I know we could have but we gave up before that happened.I have looked at the depression board,the self-esteem board and even the ADD board(she had ADD),to try and firgure out how we could have made it better,yet now it is the past.
Now I am going to those places to just recover and try and figure out my future.What I need to do differently in my future.
I tried to suggest couples counseling but she would have never done it.
There was a 10 year age gap and now I see maybe that mattered.
I did wrong,I was no saint.I've never been an angel,but I never tried to hurt her purposely.anyway just a vent for me.....no replies nesscary,just me trying to get it out and remeber what I did before her and I met.Thanks for letting me get it out and I'll be around the board some I hope to chat with you ladies,and share my opinions in the future.
Have a great one "j"
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2005
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 6:44pm
(((((J))))) I am sorry that things did not work out. It seems that there were some personal issues on both sides that got in the way, which is unfortunate when you really do have feelings for someone. Take some time for yourself now. You've spent the last (how many months?) trying hard to hold onto something. Maybe somewhere down the road, when you and she are both in a better place, you can try again? The DS and SE boards are great places to

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 8:36pm

There are things in life that hurt. Sometimes we do them, sometimes they happen to us... all we can expect of anyone is to learn, to strive... to work toward being a better person, to try and move on with the lessons incorporated. It seems you are well on your way with this.


We can never fully chase away the guilt of things, or even the hurt... but we can give it perspective, a means of filing it away where it does the most good and causes the least amount of damage.


A ten year gap is not necessarily a problem, it depends on what the ages are, the life experiences of those involved. An 18 year old with a 28 year old is a bigger gap than 34 and 44.


*hugs*

What's the use in regrets
They're just thing we haven't done yet
What are regrets?
They're just lessons we haven't learned yet


Pass In Time ~ Beth Orton

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 8:47pm


great bigs (((hugs))) J
The days will be hard, and the nights even more,
but soon, one morning you will rise with a new feeling
in your heart. You will begin to know how special you are,
and that you will find what your looking for,
when you least expect it.

Lea

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 6:02am
Thank you sadie,
With this ex,as with all my ex who I discovered had cheated there won't be fourth chances...there were a few to many to begin with. thank you for always being there for me....(((((hugs))))))J
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 6:10am
hey nelle and thanks,
I do like to think of what I did to protect myself as "damage control".There is only so much one person can take in the heartache department,I tried to tell her this yet I felt as if it was falling on deaf ears.......I have learned things from heartache and continue to do that this time as well....instead of making the same mistakes again,I hope this time I apply my lesson and actaully change my ways instead of just saying I will ,then forgetting it .......she was 21,I am 31.....thanks so much nelle,J
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 6:16am
Thank you Lea,
you are a good friend and a good person....yes I have found two awesome relationships when I was not looking and the best part is that they were best friends also ,not just girlfriends.Just hopefully it won't happen again for now until I feel better about things and have recovered from this......Have a great one Lea(((((hugs))))))Jane :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Mon, 06-27-2005 - 9:29am
(((((((Hugs J))))))))) I know you wrote to vent and let us in on what was going on with you and am not expecting replies..
But a ((((((((Hug))))))))) is something very important so I am giving that here....

 C  >^. A .